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Calling Cards of Morons


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If you don't mind paying for others' booze bills then good on you. It means you can comfortably afford it. Not all folk are in that position and it's entirely reasonable that folk should want to only pay for what they ate. Given a'body has a calculator to hand it really doesn't take that long to figure out. 

As long as you leave a tip. As a waiter I loved serving Nederlanders as they'd pay their own share then leave a few quid each. Always a 15-20% tip from those tables. 

Tables of Brits doing the same always resulted in being left f**k all though. Chunts.

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Stingy restaurant weirdos tapping away with a calculator at the end of a night is such a well-known trope that anybody who actually does it deserves to be shunned.

They can sit at the same table as the embarrassments who enter every eatery fully intending to kick up a fuss over nothing in the hope of getting some money off the bill.

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If you don't mind paying for others' booze bills then good on you. It means you can comfortably afford it. Not all folk are in that position and it's entirely reasonable that folk should want to only pay for what they ate. Given a'body has a calculator to hand it really doesn't take that long to figure out. 
As long as you leave a tip. As a waiter I loved serving Nederlanders as they'd pay their own share then leave a few quid each. Always a 15-20% tip from those tables. 
Tables of Brits doing the same always resulted in being left f**k all though. Chunts.
They can mention this and chuck a bit less in. It certainly doesn't merit calculators and lots of extra graft for the server.
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4 hours ago, Honest Saints Fan said:

Was out for dinner on Saturday night with Ruggy. Table of ten beside us, 5 couples celebrating a birthday.

At the end of the meal when the bill came one of the females refused to split it 5 ways and made each couple get their phone calculator out and work out how much they should pay. All couples went on to pay separately by card.

Fucking horrible behaviour. Wish the restaurant owner told them to f**k off.

 

I'd be willing to bet the value of this month's gas and electricity bill that she was a primary teacher.

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I briefly worked some Friday nights in Johnny Foxes

Sorry to hear that.


If you don't mind paying for others' booze bills then good on you. It means you can comfortably afford it. Not all folk are in that position

If you're that on the edge that £2 difference in the cost of drinks is going to cause you trouble then what are you doing spending unnecessary cash on eating out?
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4 hours ago, Honest Saints Fan said:

The beer was £2 more per drink. She was being completely unreasonable getting the waitress to take 5 separate payments. 

I don't drink alcohol and I'm never bothered about paying towards others beer/wine.

Imagine outing yourself as such a tight miserable c**t over the sake of what's probably about a tenner....

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I feel a bit bad sometimes if someone has had clearly less than everyone else because of not drinking or whatever but surely you just say "you pay X and we'll all up ours by £whatever" rather than getting the notepad out and working out everyone's exact payment

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If you're out with a large group of friends on a planned event of a meal, everybody contributes to the atmosphere, everybody is there for a good time so I'd say it's proper that everybody contributes equally to the final bill.

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I've said this before, If I'm going out I'll always set aside X amount. (I'm one of those weirdos who has to see a menu before going). It'll always be about £40 more than what I plan to eat and drink. That gives leeway for a few more drinks and alterations. 

Once the bill arrive - if it's £50 as my share and I took £80, the extra £30 still gets thrown in. It's money I've already written off as spent in the establishment.

I wouldn't attend events if I was having to penny pinch because if I am that close to the bone, I couldn't justify that outlay.

Edited by Mr. Alli
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12 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've said this before, If I'm going out I'll always set aside X amount. (I'm one of those weirdos who has to see a menu before going). It'll always be about £40 more than what I plan to eat and drink. That gives leeway for a few more drinks and alterations. 

Once the bill arrive - if it's £50 as my share and I took £80, the extra £30 still gets thrown in. It's money I've already written off as spent in the establishment.

I wouldn't attend events if I was having to penny pinch because if I am that close to the bone, I couldn't justify that outlay.

You should be on a list somewhere,  while your benevolence might be viewed as admirable there will be people that know you do this and make a mug of you while you subsidise them.

I’m firmly in the camp of split the bill evenly and move on.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.  If you don’t think about it you don’t worry about it.  f**k working out individual bills.

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1 minute ago, Left Back said:

You should be on a list somewhere,  while your benevolence might be viewed as admirable there will be people that know you do this and make a mug of you while you subsidise them.

Nah, the excess gets handed to the waiter/ess when they bring the receipt back. The bill gets split first and the "what you putting in for a tip" conversation has happened whilst they're away settling up.

I admit there's been a couple awkward "Why?" looks from the staff in the past.

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2 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

Nah, the excess gets handed to the waiter/ess when they bring the receipt back. The bill gets split first and the "what you putting in for a tip" conversation has happened whilst they're away settling up.

I admit there's been a couple awkward "Why?" looks from the staff in the past.

Ok.  Different conversation if you’re handing it to the staff.

Means you’re on a different list and even the staff agree 😂

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Re. splitting the bill - how do all those folk on here who refuse to believe that cash is still needed manage to pay their share when the bill is being split if they don't carry cash?  

 

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13 hours ago, Left Back said:

You should be on a list somewhere,  while your benevolence might be viewed as admirable there will be people that know you do this and make a mug of you while you subsidise them.

I dunno, if you've got mates who are going to run up a huge bill expecting you to subsidise them, you might want to think about why you're going to dinner with these people in the first place. They'd need to put Peter Ustinov to shame.

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Re. splitting the bill - how do all those folk on here who refuse to believe that cash is still needed manage to pay their share when the bill is being split if they don't carry cash?  
 

You can pay your share by card.
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Just now, 19QOS19 said:


You can pay your share by card.

So the place has to separate the bill, or process the payment separately?  Seems like as lot of hassle when cash would suffice. 

 

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So the place has to separate the bill, or process the payment separately?  Seems like as lot of hassle when cash would suffice. 
 

I'm not sure it'll be all that difficult tbh. The system will have everyone's order on their screen and just deduct it from the total bill. I've never worked behind a bar/restaurant but I'd imagine it's a case of clicking on what the person says they ordered and the machine will tally it up to be paid and leave what's left.

I expect the process is quicker than the paragraph I just wrote.
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Just now, 19QOS19 said:


I'm not sure it'll be all that difficult tbh. The system will have everyone's order on their screen and just deduct it from the total bill. I've never worked behind a bar/restaurant but I'd imagine it's a case of clicking on what the person says they ordered and the machine will tally it up to be paid and leave what's left.

I expect the process is quicker than the paragraph I just wrote.

Alternatively, take cash and none of the above is required. 

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I've seen people split bills by card in restaurants, and it seemed pretty easy. Probably no more difficult than fannying about putting cash together. The server just tapped in the amount on the reader, card got tapped, move on to the next person. It would've been a ridiculous hassle back before Chip & Pin, right enough; I think the general rule was that one person would pay the whole thing and everyone else would pay them back later.

Not that I think getting rid of cash is a good thing.

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