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Calling Cards of Morons


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6 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

I tend to wear them all the time if it’s not raining! Fuckn love sunglasses.

 

Mrs Par insists on Shandon wearing them to hide his black eyes..

You should turn up to a job wearing them, with a white stick and the hound in a fluorescent jacket and harness. "Now what colour of paint were you waiting...?"

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8 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

There was a house down the road from me in Edinburgh where the whole front garden and walls were plastered in “no turning” signs as well as various ones about not waiting outside, not blocking the drive, no junk mail, no selling stuff at the door, cctv.. 

 

Did the Welcome mat just say "f**k Off" instead?

Curtain twitching suburban Edinburgh wankers

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17 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

There was a house down the road from me in Edinburgh where the whole front garden and walls were plastered in “no turning” signs as well as various ones about not waiting outside, not blocking the drive, no junk mail, no selling stuff at the door, cctv.. 

Totally quiet little side street with almost no traffic, parking or signs of life. 

You have to wonder about their hard drives.

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19 hours ago, Empty It said:

Sunglasses on when it's not sunny.

Apparently the American security forces wear them so you can not tell if they are looking at you.

Some of them are pretty big.  Not sure I would want to accuse them of being morons.

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On 22/08/2021 at 07:38, Fullerene said:

Apparently the American security forces wear them so you can not tell if they are looking at you.

Some of them are pretty big.  Not sure I would want to accuse them of being morons.

This completely fools women on holiday, particularly mirrored sunglasses. Your partner and the object of your attention will never know you are eyeing up the scantily clad passers by.

FACT!

Edited by Sergeant Wilson
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2 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

This completely fools women on holiday, particularly mirrored sung!asses. Your partner and the object of your attention will never know you are eyeing up the scantily clad passers by.

FACT!

Maybe but nobody really believes I work for the American Secret Service.

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On 22/08/2021 at 08:06, ManBearPig said:

"Shithousery" - awful LadBiblesque patter.

I fucking hate that term.  Shithouse or Shithousery.

Always see some of the English lads I follow saying it on Twitter.  'Haha great shithousing from Pickford there' or 'Fuck off Maguire you big shithouse'.  

I'm trying to think of the Scottish equivalent of the term, what we would call it up here.  It's basically when a player is at it isn't it? Whatever we say, it'll be better than 'shithousing'.

 

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2 hours ago, TheScarf said:

I fucking hate that term.  Shithouse or Shithousery.

Always see some of the English lads I follow saying it on Twitter.  'Haha great shithousing from Pickford there' or 'f**k off Maguire you big shithouse'.  

I'm trying to think of the Scottish equivalent of the term, what we would call it up here.  It's basically when a player is at it isn't it? Whatever we say, it'll be better than 'shithousing'.

 

Bawbaggery?

"Boyle went down and Hibs got a penalty. Great show of bawbaggery there"

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13 hours ago, TheScarf said:

I fucking hate that term.  Shithouse or Shithousery.

Always see some of the English lads I follow saying it on Twitter.  'Haha great shithousing from Pickford there' or 'f**k off Maguire you big shithouse'.  

I'm trying to think of the Scottish equivalent of the term, what we would call it up here.  It's basically when a player is at it isn't it? Whatever we say, it'll be better than 'shithousing'.

 

Seen it used a few times on P&B.

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On 23/08/2021 at 16:12, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said:

Why are brick shithouses stronger than an actual house? Seems weird to me to build the crapper stronger than the actuall house.

Apparently if the phrase is used to describe a woman it means she has a shapely figure.  I'll not be testing that out on the wife though!

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