Calling Cards of Morons

[Highland Capital]

People who don't understand how opinion polls work.  Particularly those who react to a poll with an answer they don't like by saying "I wasnae asked!!!"

[MONKMAN]

I go to the football with a few lads who work offshore and he told me when they got off the helicopter in Dyce they wen't straight to the pub near the airport (Spider's Web?) and a few dealers would be there waiting for them and they'd be dropping £300 odd on beak and all fire into the toilets at once to snort it.  Apparently it was mental in there the days the offshore lads got onto dry land.

Sounds about right for the Spiders Web, the place starts filling up from about 10am and it’s a conveyor belt of boys coming home from offshore. Many who chose to get fuelled up on drink and drugs, before going home to the families they haven’t seen in weeks.

[TheScarf]

1 hour ago, Highland Capital said:

People who don't understand how opinion polls work.  Particularly those who react to a poll with an answer they don't like by saying "I wasnae asked!!!"

Sounds like my mum, a staunch unionist, every time she sees a poll which shows an SNP majority or a Yes majority.

[Highland Capital]

9 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

Sounds like my mum, a staunch unionist, every time she sees a poll which shows an SNP majority or a Yes majority.

It seems that some people think that opinion polls are of the general population at random and not of the members of that individual polling company.  I've also seen some people failing to realise that an opinion poll that is commissioned by a paper (for example) is for a poll of that polling company's members, not of the readers of that paper - hence why you see the SNP winning an election in a poll commissioned by, say, the Daily Mail.

By the same token (and often in response to legitimate opinion polls), people who seem to think that Twitter polls are somehow a legitimate gauge of public opinion.  This is particularly the case for indyref Twitter who almost always have polls with massive votes one way or the other that some seem to take as some kind of proof for their position.

Edited April 17, 2021 by Highland Capital

[alta-pete]

On 07/04/2021 at 16:28, The Moonster said:

My dad has a private registration plate and every time he changes his car it takes about two weeks longer than is necessary simply because he has to transfer the plates.

My dad also shaves his hair to the same length all over but refuses to buy a set of clippers and do it himself, instead paying a tenner at the barbers every time for a 5 minute hair cut. 

My dad is a moron. 

Junior? Is this you Junior? You’ve been given a stiff telt before about disabling the parental controls on the WiFi!  

[johnnydun]

On 14/04/2021 at 08:48, Dons_1988 said:

It hurts me to see how Aberdeen has suffered in recent years. But going back 10-15 years to the 'good times', the cash that young guys in Aberdeen came into in the oil industry produced some of the worst cuntish behaviour going. So many absolute arseholes.

 

[Highland Capital]

This is being touched on a bit in another thread, but people who react to seeing a spider in their house like there's a crazed gunman on the loose.

[Bairnardo]

Just now, Highland Capital said:

This is being touched on a bit in another thread, but people who react to seeing a spider in their house like there's a crazed gunman on the loose.

I have relayed this anecdote before, but one time when I worked away, I had already had the nightly chat to the wife. Both her and me had gone to bed. My phone then rang, and when I picked it up (video call) she was in an absolute state. Now if you have never worked away, getting phoned out of the blue is quite unnerving, especially when the usual, planned one has already been done. So I pick up this video call, and see the shrieking mess she is in, and absolutely shite myself thinking what horror has/is currently befalling my loved ones.....

 

There was a spider in the bedroom. 

[GordonS]

15 hours ago, Highland Capital said:

By the same token (and often in response to legitimate opinion polls), people who seem to think that Twitter polls are somehow a legitimate gauge of public opinion.  This is particularly the case for indyref Twitter who almost always have polls with massive votes one way or the other that some seem to take as some kind of proof for their position.

That's one of my favourites. I've seen a few recently on threads under tweets giving the results of actual polls, and they genuinely believe that the followers of 55taunchGBGBGB are more representative of the Scottish people than a poll by YouGov.

Other classics of the genre are "aye well that polling company is biased against my party" and "the purpose of polling isn't to reflect public opinion, it's to shape it."

Edited April 18, 2021 by GordonS

[Todd_is_God]

24 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

I have relayed this anecdote before, but one time when I worked away, I had already had the nightly chat to the wife. Both her and me had gone to bed. My phone then rang, and when I picked it up (video call) she was in an absolute state. Now if you have never worked away, getting phoned out of the blue is quite unnerving, especially when the usual, planned one has already been done. So I pick up this video call, and see the shrieking mess she is in, and absolutely shite myself thinking what horror has/is currently befalling my loved ones.....

 

There was a spider in the bedroom. 

Working away check-ins are grating. There are only so many ways to say you've been battering a few pints on expenses, before chilling out watching some shite like Antiques Road Trip, whilst feigning interest at what the other half has been up to that was also remarkably similar to the previous day.

 

However I did once get a panicked phone call whilst at the football telling me there was a bird somehow flapping about under the bathroom floor. To this day I've no idea what she expected me to do about it.

[ICTChris]

A guy in my old work was on a work trip to a former Soviet country. While he was there he went to a brothel and the next day a pair of gangsters collared him outside his hotel, told him he owed them $5,000 for his visit and if he didn’t cough up he’d be for it. He withdrew the money on the company credit card and paid it back from his next pay.

Id imagine the nightly check in calls on that trip would have been a bit strained for the guy. He was, and I assume still is, an utter arsehole, well deserved outcome for him.

Edited April 18, 2021 by ICTChris

[Derry Alli]

12 hours ago, Tattie36 said:

Think it’s time to ditch your profile pic. Appreciate what Wighton did for us last season but he only played 5 games FFS. I think it would be more fitting to have any of our current team... even another loanee - Jack Hamilton who has done much more for us IMO, he’s certainly played more and scored more.

Never mind the fact that Wighton has scored goals against us this season which may ultimately see us relegated.

Does it nae feel a bit daft having a profile of a guy who scored two against us today and “won” a soft penalty?

 

10 hours ago, Tattie36 said:

Fine, I respect your opinion and, as I said previously, I will always appreciate what he did for us last season, and would love to have had him back as I thought he was great in his all-too-brief stint... but,  to have a massive hard-on for a player who played FIVE games for us and scored three goals is a tad weird. He has scored the same amount of goals AGAINST US this season, goals that could ultimately see us relegated. I could turn a blind eye to say Bobby Linn or Stevie Doris scoring against us as they're de-facto Lichtie legends, but Wighton... a very brief loanee? Na.

Perhaps if we get relegated I can look out a profile pic of Simon Murray for when he bangs in a hat-trick for QP against us... sounds crazy doesn't it?

 

9 hours ago, Tattie36 said:

I've been a supporter since the 70's and have seen all the dross too - standing on the terraces to watch us end up flat last in the senior setup... more than once. Celebrating like f**k just scoring a goal or winning a game, any game.

No doubt this is the best period in my time as a supporter and possibly in the club's entire history. Where we are now and the players we have compared to the 80's and most of the 90's is incredible.

This current squad and recent squads are/were full of shoe-in hall of famers, players that will go down in club history - Linn, Little, O'Brien, Hammy, Swankie, Doris, Falky etc. but, na, I'll have a profile pic of a guy who played FIVE games for us and has just today, scored two goals against us and bought a soft penalty.

Full moron da'. 

[tongue_tied_danny]

[DiegoDiego]

Boasting about sometime blocking them on social media.

[8MileBU]

1 hour ago, DiegoDiego said:

Boasting about sometime blocking them on social media.

Similarly, boasting about having folk on an “ignore list” then regularly mentioning or tagging said folk in posts. 

[SANTAN]

1 hour ago, DiegoDiego said:

Boasting about sometime blocking them on social media.

Or being banned on Twitter for calling someone a c**t and boasting. 

[DA Baracus]

Thinking that managers need to be near constantly shouting and screaming and wildly gesticulating on the touchline, otherwise they don't have any 'passion' and are in general ineffective.

[TheScarf]

35 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Thinking that managers need to be near constantly shouting and screaming and wildly gesticulating on the touchline, otherwise they don't have any 'passion' and are in general ineffective.

Steve Paterson used to sit on the arse in the dugout the whole game and barely move and he got us from the 3rd Division to an established 1st Division side and he was absolutely steaming as well, for the most part.

[effeffsee_the2nd]

7 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

Steve Paterson used to sit on the arse in the dugout the whole game and barely move and he got us from the 3rd Division to an established 1st Division side and he was absolutely steaming as well, for the most part.

Exactly, A men's senior professional team should know exactly what they're doing , what to do if they can't break down opposition, if they concede, if they get a man sent off etc

Do a bunch of scaffolders  have the foreman standing telling them move by move what to do

[Bert Raccoon]

14 minutes ago, effeffsee_the2nd said:

Exactly, A men's senior professional team should know exactly what they're doing , what to do if they can't break down opposition, if they concede, if they get a man sent off etc

Do a bunch of scaffolders  have the foreman standing telling them move by move what to do

Specifically a men's team?