Dee Man Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 22 hours ago, MixuFixit said: I mind seeing a load of those kind of cars parked in a church and twigged it was a funeral for one of them who must have driven into a wall or whatever. You'd think this'd give pause for reflection. You should've slowly driven by the funeral blasting 'Ironic' by Alanis Morrisette. That would've cheered up proceedings. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highland Capital Posted October 28, 2019 Author Share Posted October 28, 2019 A person, when talking about their constant smoking/gambling/excessive drinking/drug taking etc., come out with the line 'I can give it up whenever I want.' If they could give it up whenever they wanted, they'd have done it by now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 On 20/10/2019 at 14:29, Angusfifer said: Their exhausts always sound fucked for some reason. You'd think if you were into cars you would get them replaced... Maybe that's why their exhausts are f****d... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 I was walking home with the wife and child today when from behind I could hear the familiar beat of a true winner in life. The stereo was pumping out some joiner music beat and the windows were down for everyone to enjoy his tunes. You can only imagine my surprise when he drew level with me and it wasn't a teenager in a hatchback but a 40+ male in a saloon. Tragic doesn't begin to cover my thoughts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 17, 2019 Share Posted November 17, 2019 Leaving raging messages in the 'Questions & Answers' section of Google's listing for a business and expecting a response, rather than actually getting in touch with the business directly. Bonus idiocy points if there are already hundreds of unanswered questions along the lines of "YOUSE NEVER TURNT UP MA MAW BIN WATEIN AW DAY CUD OV TOWD HER U WURENT CUMMIN WERE DU AH GET MA MUNNY BAK" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted November 17, 2019 Share Posted November 17, 2019 On 21/10/2019 at 08:47, Dee Man said: You should've slowly driven by the funeral blasting 'Ironic' by Alanis Morrisette. That would've cheered up proceedings. With one hand in your pocket and the other one making the w****r sign. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 Thinking that "Don't eat yellow snow" is the funniest thing ever. I first heard it over 50 years ago and I'm sure it was far from new then. I've probably heard it/seen it written a million times since and it hasn't got any funnier. Yet for some reason, men of a certain age will trot it out at every opportunity and each one seems to think they're the wittiest guy on the planet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 Sounds like someone ate the yellow snow. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 9 minutes ago, Shotgun said: Thinking that "Don't eat yellow snow" is the funniest thing ever. I first heard it over 50 years ago and I'm sure it was far from new then. I've probably heard it/seen it written a million times since and it hasn't got any funnier. Yet for some reason, men of a certain age will trot it out at every opportunity and each one seems to think they're the wittiest guy on the planet. Laplanders tell their kids that to stop them getting shroomed out of their boxes when herding reindeer. The reindeer diet is mainly bracken and psilocybin. Spoiler Some of that may be untrue, or not. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A96 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 Saying that a football player has won a game or championship or even the World Cup ,single-handed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 Saying that a football player has won a game or championship or even the World Cup ,single-handedUnless you have ever been a moron, you wouldn't understand how to be a fucking moron. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A96 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 38 minutes ago, Moomintroll said: 59 minutes ago, A96 said: Saying that a football player has won a game or championship or even the World Cup ,single-handed Unless you have ever been a moron, you wouldn't understand how to be a fucking moron. Is that the Ayrshire variation of the “Takes one to know one” retort commonly heard in primary school playgrounds ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 Is that the Ayrshire variation of the “Takes one to know one” retort commonly heard in primary school playgrounds ?Be very specific. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 I heard something interesting yesterday when I was watching Loose Women........ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 People who, after you get put out the cup, look at the tie of the team who put you out and say "look at the draw we could have had" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 16 minutes ago, Adam101 said: People who, after you get put out the cup, look at the tie of the team who put you out and say "look at the draw we could have had" Fucking infuriates me. People don't seem to realise, they wouldn't be the same number. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 Pretty sure we would have been on this occasion... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalkirkBairn93 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 I heard something interesting yesterday when I was watching Loose Women........Go on... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 A woman on the train is doing her over the phone banking loudly on the train. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 9 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: Pretty sure we would have been on this occasion... I might be wrong but I think this was also the case last year for us when Talbot put us out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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