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Calling Cards of Morons


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3 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

I wonder if these DJ's ever watch I'm Alan Partridge and realise just how laughable they are.

Sure most of them are only on this "profession" for Partdridge style bants.

That or they are just soulless personality vacuumes. ( Hiya Diane Knox, hiya pal!)

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1 hour ago, MixuFixit said:

People who aren't Dutch or Dillon who handshake like this

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This is now becoming incredibly common and leads to many awkward exchanges. At the end of a football game now I’d say about 75% of people go to do this so when I put my hand out for a normal handshake it often awkwardly ends up with me grabbing their hand in that position.

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1 hour ago, eez-eh said:

Is Scots actually a “language” or is it just English spoken with Scottish slang?

Standard English is just badly pronounced Scots imo. Missed vowels and consonants all over the place,  

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Is Scots actually a “language” or is it just English spoken with Scottish slang?
Whether Scots is a dialect of English or vice versa is largely a matter of politicking. The closest we have to official English is received pronunciation (which has you pronouncing year, car and farmer with silent 'r's) and Cambridge English.

"One oughtn't to do that."
"Ye shouldnae dae that."

To me these are both dialects but we are taught that one is correct and one is incorrect.
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14 hours ago, Highland Capital said:

People who put on Scots and their Scottishness.  This is particularly the case for people who go on protests with signs saying stuff like 'Trump Haud Yer Wheast' and all that nonsense.

See also: folk from the Highlands who type in "central belt" (for want of a better description) accents - nobody in the Highlands says "naw" or "maw" of pronounces "I" as "ah".  It's all about the #hashtagnumbers. Even worse is when they start speaking like it and throwing in "ken" and "but" at the end of sentences. 

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2 hours ago, yoda said:

See also: folk from the Highlands who type in "central belt" (for want of a better description) accents - nobody in the Highlands says "naw" or "maw" of pronounces "I" as "ah".  It's all about the #hashtagnumbers. Even worse is when they start speaking like it and throwing in "ken" and "but" at the end of sentences. 

In the last year or so I've heard a few Invernesians refer to kids as 'weans'.  That's not really a word we use here.

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26 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

Similar to the morons who pronounce 'th' as 'f'. Folk who think a 't' is pronounced 'k'.

When did 'likkle' become a word? Just heard someone say "hospikal". Wtf?!

Weegie? 

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26 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

Similar to the morons who pronounce 'th' as 'f'. Folk who think a 't' is pronounced 'k'.

When did 'likkle' become a word? Just heard someone say "hospikal". Wtf?!

And the way nobody on radio or tv can say 'sixth' anymore. Always 'sik'. 

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