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Calling Cards of Morons


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Have fleeces with Arctic wolves on them
Not a bad thing, it marks out all the scaffy, jakey, stinking oddballs who go to the likes of Cowdenbeath market every fucking week without fail and wander around aimlessly looking at the same old shit.
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8 hours ago, Bobby Skidmarks said:

Overusing emojis. 

Lighting fags off the cooker.

Making sandwiches from condiments.

I never realised until recently, Philpy follows me on Twitter. I discovered this when he suggested a post pub snack of a piece and tomato sauce.

 

Some boy.

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7 hours ago, The OP said:

Sending emails which just consist of question marks because someone doesn't reply straight away. 

I (briefly) had a boss who would forward emails with no comment other than "Shotgun?" or sometimes "Shotgun?????" You'd then have to wade through several pages of back and forth to try and intuit what exactly she was expecting by way of a reply.

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12 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

I (briefly) had a boss who would forward emails with no comment other than "Shotgun?" or sometimes "Shotgun?????" You'd then have to wade through several pages of back and forth to try and intuit what exactly she was expecting by way of a reply.

Surely a reply with, "Yes, mistress?" is appropriate in this situation.

Alternatively, "I AM INVOKED"

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I never realised until recently, Philpy follows me on Twitter. I discovered this when he suggested a post pub snack of a piece and tomato sauce.
 
Some boy.
Ha. Your tales of post pub cold meat eating amuse me.
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Making the loudest, most obnoxious 'hawking' sound when clearing their throat in the toilet.

This also applies to the Scummy Behaviour thread, but then there's a big crossover between that and this thread.

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People who watch football who haven’t played since they were a young teen (and were garbage then) who think they wouldn’t look out of place in a non league/Junior game. I have several friends who think they could rock up and probably do a job at these sorts of levels despite being utterly horse at football and unfit. 

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1 hour ago, ScottishZizou said:

People who watch football who haven’t played since they were a young teen (and were garbage then) who think they wouldn’t look out of place in a non league/Junior game. I have several friends who think they could rock up and probably do a job at these sorts of levels despite being utterly horse at football and unfit. 

I can vouch for that – we regularly have punters like that getting in touch asking for trials. Even at the lower levels of the non-league game, teams are looking at recruiting punters with previous non-league experience, ex-pro youth or higher level U21 players, or guys who have amateur experience at a decent level. Recent experience…

“I’m 38 years old and haven’t played for two or three years, but my pals think I’m a standout at the fives…”

Beat it and join a gym you cheap c**t.

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Making the loudest, most obnoxious 'hawking' sound when clearing their throat in the toilet.
This also applies to the Scummy Behaviour thread, but then there's a big crossover between that and this thread.


Surely the toilet is the place to do this?
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Just now, ThatBoyRonaldo said:

What level of arrogance do you need to have to just go about messaging actual football teams out the blue asking to play for them? Wild.

Not as wild as you may think. Did you see the crowd Falkirk signed in the summer?

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