Calling Cards of Morons

[Derry Alli]

1 hour ago, Highland Capital said:

Football fans who think that a player who plays for their team is as big a fan of the club as they are.  This is particularly prevalent when a player leaves and some just can't believe it.  Same goes for folk who believe everything a player or manager says.  A player saying how much he's enjoying playing for a club is like when a restaurant tells you it only uses the finest ingredients. 

New manager comes in - "Aye, players are really enjoying it. The standard in training has went up and there is a higher tempo to everything we are doing" 

Fans "  we won't be tiring after 75 minutes. Always said we weren't fit enough!" 

Team still gets pumped. Players still get shattered after 75 minutes. 

[Highland Capital]

2 hours ago, Dele said:

New manager comes in - "Aye, players are really enjoying it. The standard in training has went up and there is a higher tempo to everything we are doing" 

Fans "  we won't be tiring after 75 minutes. Always said we weren't fit enough!" 

Team still gets pumped. Players still get shattered after 75 minutes. 

I think Greg Tansey has said how much he likes his new club's stadium three times - Caley Thistle, Aberdeen and St Mirren.

[Hampden Diehard]

There's usually a moron underneath these big Guinness hats.

[Hampden Diehard]

30 minute phone calls on public transport.

[Gaz FFC]

6 hours ago, Highland Capital said:

Football fans who think that a player who plays for their team is as big a fan of the club as they are.  This is particularly prevalent when a player leaves and some just can't believe it.  Same goes for folk who believe everything a player or manager says.  A player saying how much he's enjoying playing for a club is like when a restaurant tells you it only uses the finest ingredients. 

On a similar note when an ex player returns to your ground and fans booo him.

Are footballers expected to play for 1 club for 20 years as that would instantly collapse the transfer market?

[parsforlife]

On a similar note when an ex player returns to your ground and fans booo him.
Are footballers expected to play for 1 club for 20 years

For some yes .

There is sone brilliant panto to booing certain ex players(leaves for rivals etc) but for far too many fans simply leaving the club for whatever circumstances means you have committed a crime.

[Hedgecutter]

Boasting about "surviving on just X hours sleep" as if it's some sort of badge of honour.  More so if they don't have kids.

[Bairnardo]

Boasting about "surviving on just X hours sleep" as if it's some sort of badge of honour.  More so if they don't have kids.

Equally, and Mrs B is guilty of this.... Parents cracking on that they have NO TIME FOR ANYTHING!!!!

Example.... The other day Mrs B announced Luke Perry had died. I said to her "didnt he die a week or so ago? Sure I seen that in the news?"

To which she replies "Well I dont know I dont get to see the news!!@#,@,!"

Aye nae bother, heads in your phone half the day and the bairns go to bed at 7. The oldest one is at nursery 3 hours a day and the youngest one naps every morning from 10 to 1130.

If you havent checked the news its f**k all to do with not being able to.

[Hedgecutter]

11 hours ago, parsforlife said:

 

For some yes .

There is sone brilliant panto to booing certain ex players(leaves for rivals etc) but for far too many fans simply leaving the club for whatever circumstances means you have committed a crime.

 

Or heaven forbid you continue to score before joining their team. 

https://rangers.vitalfootball.co.uk/just-ended-his-own-rangers-career-many-fans-are-fuming-at-the-actions-of-one-man-last-night/

[Dons_1988]

8 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Equally, and Mrs B is guilty of this.... Parents cracking on that they have NO TIME FOR ANYTHING!!!!

Example.... The other day Mrs B announced Luke Perry had died. I said to her "didnt he die a week or so ago? Sure I seen that in the news?"

To which she replies "Well I dont know I dont get to see the news!!@#,@,!"

Aye nae bother, heads in your phone half the day and the bairns go to bed at 7. The oldest one is at nursery 3 hours a day and the youngest one naps every morning from 10 to 1130.

If you havent checked the news its f**k all to do with not being able to.

This is very true.

I don't read nearly enough as I should and while it would be easy to blame lack of time.  The truth is I have a couple of hours free most days after work, eating, exercise etc is out the way, and I make a conscious choice to spend it watching some shit on the telly instead.

[TheScarf]

15 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Boasting about "surviving on just X hours sleep" as if it's some sort of badge of honour.  More so if they don't have kids.

Reminds me of the 'Aww you don't know what tired is if you don't have any kids'.  Or 'That face when someone without kids says they're tired'

Sorry what?  You've never worked a day in your life you wee slag. Don't fucking tell me I cant be tired.

[Bairnardo]

This is very true.
I don't read nearly enough as I should and while it would be easy to blame lack of time.  The truth is I have a couple of hours free most days after work, eating, exercise etc is out the way, and I make a conscious choice to spend it watching some shit on the telly instead.

I have two kids skelping round about my feet this very moment. The bottom line is I can be reading stuff on my phone or posting shit on here because they are playing together and are happy. They dont always need me to be involved.

Granted I cant get out for a run today or to the gym which is mildly annoying, but they arent stopping me from scanning a few news sites if I want to.

[Hedgecutter]

1 minute ago, TheScarf said:

Reminds me of the 'Aww you don't know what tired is if you don't have any kids'.  Or 'That face when someone without kids says they're tired'

Sorry what?  You've never worked a day in your life you wee slag. Don't fucking tell me I cant be tired.

Tell a' full time mummy' they've no idea what a proper days work is if you want to know what a genuine seething mess looks like. That said, they often have that look regardless. 

[19QOS19]

Aye add anyone who uses the term "Full-Time Mum", to the list.

[Bairnardo]

Aye add anyone who uses the term "Full-Time Mum", to the list.

Agreed. Dont remember signing up to be a part time parent myself.

[DA Baracus]

19 hours ago, Highland Capital said:

Football fans who think that a player who plays for their team is as big a fan of the club as they are.  This is particularly prevalent when a player leaves and some just can't believe it.  Same goes for folk who believe everything a player or manager says.  A player saying how much he's enjoying playing for a club is like when a restaurant tells you it only uses the finest ingredients. 

Not just that but they also think that all former players have warm feelings towards the club and often think that this means the club have ‘links’ with this player if they go in to management.

 

A good example is Davie Moyes. He played for us in the early 90s and some folk think this meant we should have been getting young Everton players on loan regularly. I think Moyes doesn’t give a shit about his time at Dunfermline.

17 hours ago, Dele said:

New manager comes in - "Aye, players are really enjoying it. The standard in training has went up and there is a higher tempo to everything we are doing" 

Fans "  we won't be tiring after 75 minutes. Always said we weren't fit enough!" 

Team still gets pumped. Players still get shattered after 75 minutes. 

So much this. When a team is doing poorly they seemingly aren’t trying, lack passion and fight, have given up and seem unfit. A new manager comes in and suddenly the players are so much fitter, they have a renewed passion and are trying harder than they did before.

 

It’s all so much shite. It’s like a really lazy script that fans read from and think they have to follow. Most of the time it’s just about confidence, and it’s amazing that so many fans still don’t get it. A player low on confidence can look knackered and there is a physiological effect on them as well. The opposite is true for a player high on confidence. A new manager can bring about a freshness. They often say that everything before now is done and that it’s a ‘clean slate’. This often allows players to regain confidence.

[Hedgecutter]

57 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

Aye add anyone who uses the term "Full-Time Mum", to the list.

I have a Facebook friend who has 'works at: full time mummy" &' studied at: university of life'. 

She's on ignore but stay friends mode after she (funnily enough) outed herself as a moron one time too many.  A quick look at her timeline is like walking into the Top 5's Facebook thread. 

[Shandon Par]

21 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

A good example is Davie Moyes. He played for us in the early 90s and some folk think this meant we should have been getting young Everton players on loan regularly. I think Moyes doesn’t give a shit about his time at Dunfermline.

He has plenty of competition for places but I'd always put Davie Moyes in my all time worst 11. Was staggered when Preston signed him. 

[Malcolm Malcolm]

Owning (or wanting to own) an SUV

 

 

[Chicken Wing]

Granted I cant get out for a run today or to the gym which is mildly annoying, but they arent stopping me from scanning a few news sites if I want to.

Nor can you use apostrophes.