Calling Cards of Morons

[Flybhoy]

2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

10 minutes ago, Flybhoy said:

People who refer to themselves in the third person. 
"Davie is going for a beer tonight" said Davie referring to himself, death should be mandatory for people who do this.

Does conversing with your own alias fall into this category?

First rule about Dave Coaches, do not talk about Dave Coaches. 

[Jacksgranda]

15 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

Folk with normal names that try to make them exotic. I have encountered two folk called George insisting they be referred to as "Geo"

Start calling them Gorge.

[D.A.F.C]

Folk with personalised number plates.
 

F4NN135

[jofis]

6 hours ago, Flybhoy said:

People who refer to themselves in the third person. 

"Davie is going for a beer tonight" said Davie referring to himself, death should be mandatory for people who do this.

Eddie May managed to do this in his post match interview today when Chuckie asked him for the 375th time if he wanted the Hibs job permanently.

"Eddie May's not a football manager and Eddie May will just be hoping, with fingers crossed, that something happens very soon."

Double third person name drop; with skills like that maybe the Hibs board should tell Eddie May he has no other choice.

[Dee Man]

9 hours ago, Flybhoy said:

People who refer to themselves in the third person. 

"Davie is going for a beer tonight" said Davie referring to himself, death should be mandatory for people who do this.

I've often thought that people who refer to themselves in the third person must have some sort of disassociative personality disorder. It just seems like such a mad thing to do. 

That's what Dee Man thinks anyway. (Obvious punchline thread for this pish)

[Herman Hessian]

On 1/25/2019 at 19:08, Skerla said:

Folk with personalised number plates.

incorrect, my good fellow; folk with personalised number plates may be pretentious arseholes, but they are infinitely preferable to folk who have faux-personalised number plates, ie the fucking cheap shithouse versions that have to use numbers, letters close together or the bolts that hold the number plates on to make them look even a bit like a proper personalised number plate. for instance, if you have an aston martin and have spent a quarter of a million quid on the number plate AMDB7 or whatever, you're a knob but, kinda fair fucks to you; however, if you have a sierra sapphire cosworth with the plate 513RRA - you're a c**t

[Cerberus]

Neds with a credit card.

They have a little bit more money than your bottom rung ned and maybe can afford an Audi on HP and £100 G-Star denims, but they show their true colours by living in Kirkintilloch and holidaying in Benidorm.

[Skerla]

7 hours ago, Herman Hessian said:

incorrect, my good fellow; folk with personalised number plates may be pretentious arseholes, but they are infinitely preferable to folk who have faux-personalised number plates, ie the fucking cheap shithouse versions that have to use numbers, letters close together or the bolts that hold the number plates on to make them look even a bit like a proper personalised number plate. for instance, if you have an aston martin and have spent a quarter of a million quid on the number plate AMDB7 or whatever, you're a knob but, kinda fair fucks to you; however, if you have a sierra sapphire cosworth with the plate 513RRA - you're a c**t

I didn’t realise there was a difference tbh. 

[Dee Man]

On 26/01/2019 at 03:08, Skerla said:

Folk with personalised number plates.

 

Saw some dick today driving a car with his personalised plate reading BICEPS. What an absolute thundercunt. I hope his car is seized and crushed at some point. Preferably with him still in it. 

[Barry Ferguson's Hat]

There is absolutely no distinction between those with personalised regi plates and those with 'faux-personalised' regi plates. If you have any sort of personalised regi plate - you are a c**t. 

It must be mortifying to receive such a thing as a gift from supposed loved ones, knowing that social convention requires you to publicly display it on your successive motors for the rest of your life. 

[ShaggysBeard]

On 26/01/2019 at 23:00, MixuFixit said:

Folk with normal names that try to make them exotic. I have encountered two folk called George insisting they be referred to as "Geo"

Colleague with the opposite idea.

Feliciano and he insists of being called Phil. His family are Italian but he's born and brought up Scottish.

[ah-dee]

Saw some dick today driving a car with his personalised plate reading BICEPS. What an absolute thundercunt. I hope his car is seized and crushed at some point. Preferably with him still in it. 

that boy clearly has some serious penis issues

[The Moonster]

12 hours ago, Herman Hessian said:

incorrect, my good fellow; folk with personalised number plates may be pretentious arseholes, but they are infinitely preferable to folk who have faux-personalised number plates, ie the fucking cheap shithouse versions that have to use numbers, letters close together or the bolts that hold the number plates on to make them look even a bit like a proper personalised number plate. for instance, if you have an aston martin and have spent a quarter of a million quid on the number plate AMDB7 or whatever, you're a knob but, kinda fair fucks to you; however, if you have a sierra sapphire cosworth with the plate 513RRA - you're a c**t

^^^c**t with personalised number plate found

[KnightswoodBear]

12 hours ago, Herman Hessian said:

incorrect, my good fellow; folk with personalised number plates may be pretentious arseholes, but they are infinitely preferable to folk who have faux-personalised number plates, ie the fucking cheap shithouse versions that have to use numbers, letters close together or the bolts that hold the number plates on to make them look even a bit like a proper personalised number plate. for instance, if you have an aston martin and have spent a quarter of a million quid on the number plate AMDB7 or whatever, you're a knob but, kinda fair fucks to you; however, if you have a sierra sapphire cosworth with the plate 513RRA - you're a c**t

When we bought my new car, the salesman gave me a range of license numbers to choose from.  He'd had a look to see what was available at the time and found ones that contained my initials.

^^^
Poundland personalised plate*

 

*i'm also a c*nt.

[Gaz FFC]

3 hours ago, Barry Ferguson's Hat said:

There is absolutely no distinction between those with personalised regi plates and those with 'faux-personalised' regi plates. If you have any sort of personalised regi plate - you are a c**t. 

It must be mortifying to receive such a thing as a gift from supposed loved ones, knowing that social convention requires you to publicly display it on your successive motors for the rest of your life. 

Asked for a reg plate for Xmas and was told to f**k off IMO

[Barry Ferguson's Hat]

11 minutes ago, Gaz FFC said:

Asked for a reg plate for Xmas and was told to f**k off IMO

Yer maw. 

[Unleash The Nade]

21 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

On 25/01/2019 at 19:08, Skerla said:

Folk with personalised number plates.
 

F4NN135

Surely you mean 

[MacDuffman]

Used to see a car at work with CMW on the plate. Must have thought close enough.

[TheScarf]

People who call others 'snowflakes'.  Usually the same people who say others are 'triggered'

Seeing some of these people's political and general beliefs,  you appear to be a snowflake if you do or are any of the following;

Want the UK to remain in the EU.

Are tolerant of and accept that the UK is a multi-national, multi-racial and multi-religious county.

Do not accept racism, homophobia, bigotry etc in any shape or form.

Don't wave Union Flags all the time and don't want your country to actually part of the UK anymore. 

It appears I am a 'snowflake'.  And must get 'triggered' quite a lot.

 

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

People who use the term snowflake for someone being offended easily are the ones who get furious about stuff like a Vegan sausage roll, for example.