What's The Worst Pain You Have Ever Experienced?

[Dee Man]

On 19/10/2018 at 13:45, 19QOS19 said:

- An odd one but I'd stick Flu in here. Folk who haven't had it (who think a bad Cold is Flu!) don't realise your body aches all over. It's not an acute pain as such but being in constant pain for 3 or 4 days is horrible.

I've broken the scaphoid bone in my wrist but it was more uncomfortable than painful. I did it while making a superb save in goal so it was totally worth it.

I used to work with an attention seeking hypochondriac who would say at least twice a year that he had the flu. Twice a year I told him that he had the cold and he'd be in his bed struggling to move if he had the flu. 

I also broke my scaphoid playing football. Played on for the rest of the game but went to A&E afterwards as it didn't feel right. Getting the plaster removed 6 weeks later or however long it was was quite the sight and smell. My skinny little arm resembled a gorilla's and smelled like a gorilla's arsehole. I would imagine. 

On 19/10/2018 at 13:59, bernardblack said:

Root canal is also up there.

I was dreading root canal due to the horror stories I'd heard over the years about the excruciating pain. It was a piece of piss. Having said that, I'm absolutely nails. 

[Venti]

33 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

A football hitting my cock was pretty sore. The ball hit the post and soon as I turned it hit me. Was such a hard shot and as I didn't expect it was pretty dam sore.
Remember at the time was close to vomiting. So sore :-(.
 

Not the IRN BRU change?

[Adam]

I had my arm shattered when I was 15 whilst playing football. I scored a belter of a goal at indoor fives, and stupidly stuck my top over my head for a laugh, and one of my friends tripped me up.

Had a real bang to the head but when I got up the lower part of my left arm was detached from all the bones in the other part, only the skin holding it on.

15 years on and I still have a big bend in my arm, it was pretty sore.

Got a wisdom tooth out five or six years ago, the look of surprise on the lassie’s face when she saw how “well developed” it was would have made you laugh if you weren’t the one in the seat. My face was swollen to hell for about a week afterwards, the pain was unreal.

[Arabdownunder]

I burned my cock with the iron and that was pretty sore.
Put my hand on a hot brake disk on the car. That was a sore one too. 
 

Naked ironing or ironing your pants while wearing them? Either way you're doing it wrong.

[WeAreElgin]

Appendicitis was pretty rough, my old man eventually got me to a doctor after trying to tell me I was fine and I was booked in for surgery about 12 hours later.

The worst part of the entire experience was ripping my stitches after losing my balance while trying to pish in one of those cardboard box things they give you, as I couldn't walk to the toilet. Pish and blood everywhere. They cleaned me up alright but every movement was sore for about a month afterwards.

[Adam]

Coincidentally considering my username name, a cotton swab up my urethra when id a dose of the clap.
 
Horrific. Much worse than breaking any bone I’ve broken, anything I’ve dislocated etc.
 
The only way I can describe it is like being slashed, by a red hot razor.
 
Nearly passed out.
 
 
Any test after that I asked for a bottle to pee in.
 

I’ve had that done before, years ago right enough, but it was pretty sore. First time the phrase “pissing razor blades” was apt. Had nothing as well, would have been worth it to have had something for the pain that I went through [emoji23]

[ah-dee]

I felt like I was pissing acid any time I urinated so having a dry cotton bud rammed up it was horrific.

Can mind the nurse taking my tadger in her hand and there was a student nurse there as well shadowing her and getting the stuff for her.

Someone also walked in the room by accident so she ended up holding my boaby for about a minute before the procedure so I’d started getting a semi. It disappeared in split seconds the minute she rammed the swab up me. Sickening.

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

[Bairnardo]

Having had a vasectomy last week, I can cheerfully say its not even close to as bad as the scare stories.

That being said, there was one moment in which I was in unbearable pain as it became apparent that the anarlesthetic administered whilst being enough to survive the slicing of bawbag and removal of a wee tube, wasnt enough to mitigate the squeezing and cutting of said tube.

The pain was like that quaesy pulling feeling post being hit in the baws, but if you can imagine it happening directly to the inside bits which are temporarily outside. Never thought I would be clamped onto a hospital trolley for dear life trying to drive my head down through it, bursting into a cold sweat and pleading for the sweet embrace of a further needle to be injected directly into my knackers....

[Bairnardo]

Thought you said it isn't that bad.
Reading this is making me weasy

That was a few seconds m8 and if you think of it as 2 seperate ops, the other side was much easier. The first jag felt like f**k all but obviously it didnt hit the exact mark hemce the wee bit of pain during. The second jag was sorer but the rest on that side was totally painless

[Melanius Mullarkey]

2 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

3 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

That was a few seconds m8 and if you think of it as 2 seperate ops, the other side was much easier. The first jag felt like f**k all but obviously it didnt hit the exact mark hemce the wee bit of pain during. The second jag was sorer but the rest on that side was totally painless

How long ( wayhey) did it take you to get an appointment through

Surprised the butchers in Tesco don’t offer them tbf.

[Bairnardo]

From I spoke to the GP it must have been not a kick in the arse off 6 months. Cant remember when I went but it was longer than I expected.

[SlipperyP]

Got knocked down by a drunk driver while on my moped/skooter a few years 2015.
Fractured skull just above my left temple, was very lucky.
I can't remember anything from that day apart from dropping my son of at kindergarten, 3 days later I'm sitting up in a hospital bed asking folk what the f**k happened.
Was released from hospital after 1 week and then the headaches started. Holy f**k,

[JamieThomas]

Dislocated knee and fractured elbow were both of those "sweat pain" things when the endorphins kicked in and I didn't really feel anything.

The worst pain I ever genuinely felt was the after a day on the pills/lager/vino with a D list chum that ended with us screaming Mighty Boosh slogans down the phone to his then girlfriend in Japan. 

Apparently he had a vision of his own death the next day. I wish I had died that day.

Edited October 22, 2018 by JamieThomas

[Bairnardo]

Dislocated knee and fractured elbow were both of those "sweat pain" things when the endorphins kicked in and I didn't really feel anything.
The worst pain I ever genuinely felt was the after a day on the pills/lager/vino with a D list chum that ended with us screaming Mighty Boosh slogans down the phone to his then girlfriend in Japan. 
Apparently he had a vision of his own death the next day. I wish I had died that day.

Worst comedowns thread?

Mines was after a three day pills/lager/ching bender in Benidorm. Started on the plane home where sweating and jumping out of my own skin each time the plane deviated even slightly and was followed ny three days of no sleep, hallucinations/voices in bed and no food until my mate eventually appeared at my door with some homemade soup. I managed to get that down me and almost straight after it fell into a lovely wee sleep on the couch and returned to the lamd of the living. Was truly a horrendous few days.

[Funky Nosejob]

On 17/10/2018 at 19:58, The Mantis said:

Kidney stone about 3 years ago. Was going into the doc's surgery and had to run back outside and spew in the bushes, it was that bad 

 

On 20/10/2018 at 08:50, wellboy1991 said:

I’ve been stabbed with a bottle, broke my knee/ankle/foot (x3)/wrist, had numerous other injuries however nothing and I mean nothing has compared to Kidney stones.

 

The actual pain of having them nearly caused me to pass out on multiple occasions then the actual pain of passing the stone though my japs eye had me on my knees.

 

Seemingly it’s the closest men can come to experiencing the pain of child birth. f**k dat for a game of sodjees.

 

I have been experiencing the torture of a kidney stone over the past 48 hours and, whilst I would love to claim to be bravely facing up to it, I actually ended up curled up in a ball on the floor, crying, shouting and swearing whilst Mrs. Nosejob was on the ‘phone to NHS 24.

Drink plenty of fluids people.

[thomas]

Gallstones, they had me in hospital on 3 occasions then NHS decided enough was enough and took my gallbladder out, first time it happened I thought it was game over as I waited on the ambulance.

[btb]

Kidney stones, woke up in agony the morning after we beat Ayr 6-2 in The Great Escape of 2017, fortunately this was alleviated in hospital with a morphine suppository, the nurse was mightily relieved when I informed her I'd manage to get it inside myself.

One minute I was in agony the next I was drifting along to my inner soundtrack of Pink Floyd...

Edited January 28, 2022 by btb

[Caledonian1]

Insertion of a catheter after an operation - I was screaming...incredible pain.  Couldnt pee ( due to the drugs administered)., but was desperate to pee, after an ankle op, They had to do an ultrasound scan on my bladder as it was so full but no matter what I still couldnt pee.  They had to give up trying to insert the catheter as I was in far too much pain to allow them to "shove" it up any further.  The nurses had to call the surgeon at home asking what to do next. Eventually as the drugs from the operation wore off (around 2am) I was able to let oot a dribble...then slowly a little more before returning to normal.  I really cant imagine more pain than that....horrible thinking back to it (5 years ago)

[The Mantis]

47 minutes ago, Funky Nosejob said:

On 17/10/2018 at 19:58, The Mantis said:

Kidney stone about 3 years ago. Was going into the doc's surgery and had to run back outside and spew in the bushes, it was that bad 

I have been experiencing the torture of a kidney stone over the past 48 hours and, whilst I would love to claim to be bravely facing up to it, I actually ended up curled up in a ball on the floor, crying, shouting and swearing whilst Mrs. Nosejob was on the ‘phone to NHS 24.

Drink plenty of fluids people.

I had forgotten that I posted this so a wee surprise  
I just checked and it was March 2016. They said there's a 50% chance of getting another in the next 5 years... but that's nearly 6 years and I do try to drink more fluids. The other way of looking at it is I got to a good age without having any.
Just to add, mine was from a Friday morning till the next Tuesday night, but the pain was intermittent (thank f**k) and they gave me a packet of DF118 which I still have most of. It was 4mm which is about the max size for passing it yourself. They said I had another 2mm one and I probably passed that later.

[Lex]

A few years ago I was  going up in the loft in my house and I had one of those extendable metal ladders down. I hadn't extended it fully to the floor, (schoolboy error which won't be repeated) so i got a few steps up and put my fingers in the gap between two overlapping steps near the top. As i put my weight on the fourth step the ladder jolted down and extended fully, trapping the top half of my index and middle finger between two metal steps. 

I was too far up to step back down to the floor and there was no one else in the house. I realised the only option i had was to continue climbing the ladder with my fingers jammed in it.  Each step was a fresh wave of agony and i couldn't bring myself to do it quickly. Ended up making it up after about ten minutes of sobbing and having convinced myself I was going to lose the top half of two of my fingers.

When I eventually pulled the ladder up into the loft with my other hand and free'd them they were both a dark purple and completely numb. I couldn't feel a thing with them for weeks and didn't expect the feeling to come back. However, it did and a full recovery was made.

Been a bit feart of the loft since and only go up if the missus is in and i've treble checked the integrity of the ladder.