Hillonearth Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 1 hour ago, Salvo Montalbano said: Guy I used to work with was like that. Used to always start a story with "an ex of mine" or "This girl u was with" as if he couldn't refer to a female without claiming he'd shagged her. He once came into work this morning saying "Never again. I told myself never again" in one of those Facebook "look at me" kind of ways. Eventually someone did say "What?" to which he replied "Oh, I'm just talking to myself. I said I'd never again have a threesome but of course what do I go and do last night?" What was worse was that he'd actually gone out briefly with a friend of someone else at work (he didn't know she'd known this other lassie) so half his fantatist bullshit was easily confirmed as just that. Used to have one like that in my social circle - on a weekly basis he'd claim to have met some stunning burd right at the end of the night and pumped her ragged. "Aye, it was just after you left..." "Just after I stayed till chucking-out time and stood outside talking for half an hour?" Hypothesis confirmed at a later date by his flatmate who said he only brought home a couple of grunters in the whole time they shared the place... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 4 hours ago, sjc said: P&B is made up of 49% deviants, 1% sociopaths and 50% virgins.... Did you count me in all three categories? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 A guy I used to hang about with would hint at sleeping with other mates girlfriends/wives. so that you obviously wouldn't ask her, or her boyfriend/husband if it was true. I heard it 2-3 times and then just started calling bullshit. He also used to bluetooth pictures of his penis to strangers on trains^^^Bluetooth Boaby found Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Bluetoothing boaby pics.[emoji38]What the fek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 7 hours ago, Bishop Briggs said: So which group are you in? You need to ask?! 4 hours ago, whiskychimp said: Did you count me in all three categories? I make no judgement upon others.....even you, ya wee dirty, cherry nutter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D'Jaffo Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 I've shagged loads of birds but they were all on holiday so you won't know them. Were they at a caravan club by any chance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 I know a guy like this just now. Seems to talk utter shite and says he's shagged every nationality under the sun. His full life seems like something Del Boy would have come up with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 15 hours ago, Cerberus said: I had a mate like that. Every time we went out he would be getting KB's all over the place but would always come out with some shite the next day that he pulled some gorgeous bird in the taxi queue, chippy, walking home. What made it worse was that he would chat up any old rough munter in sheer desperation at getting some. 12 hours ago, Hillonearth said: Used to have one like that in my social circle - on a weekly basis he'd claim to have met some stunning burd right at the end of the night and pumped her ragged. "Aye, it was just after you left..." "Just after I stayed till chucking-out time and stood outside talking for half an hour?" Hypothesis confirmed at a later date by his flatmate who said he only brought home a couple of grunters in the whole time they shared the place... Yep, I have a mate like that too. We'd be on a night out, as the night wears on we all start heading home at different times, but he used to always be the last man standing. You text him the next morning and he always gave it the 'aww ended up pulling that bird we were all gawping at' or 'Aye ended up going to a party and shagged a bird, just home hahahahah'. The guy never spoke to a single woman at any point of any night out when I or any of my other mates were there. Always happened after we all left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellinwigan Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Who was it that shagged Hayden paniterre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 15 hours ago, Cerberus said: I had a mate like that. Every time we went out he would be getting KB's all over the place I've never met your mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Who was it that shagged Hayden paniterre Presumably [mention=10660]Poet of the Macabre[/mention]I’d like to hear this story - if there’s more to it than he just said I shagged her once - and his take on it now. Still stand by it? If not, why claim it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ylf Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Who was it that shagged Hayden paniterre No one from here anyway [emoji106][emoji23] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 A guy I used to hang about with would hint at sleeping with other mates girlfriends/wives. so that you obviously wouldn't ask her, or her boyfriend/husband if it was true. I heard it 2-3 times and then just started calling bullshit. He also used to bluetooth pictures of his penis to strangers on trainsis bluetooth still a thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Menzel Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Quote As a matter of fact she's with me now!! Hi there, yes Hibernia did shag me in the pics dinnae ken why yous no believin him lyk. Cya x Me again - get me paid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Only one I know of who came up with these lies was, oddly enough, a lassie. Started with her telling us she'd shagged a Morton player which I believed and got no real reason to doubt it but, being a Morton fan, I found it a nice juicy story. So she came back a while later listing a few other Morton players she'd shagged and that they all knew about it. Again, no reason to doubt it, football players are known for passing lassies roon like scud books (although maybe not in the Scottish 3rd tier as much as they do it at Chelsea) Started just ignoring her stories but at a party she started telling us all how the night before she had been in an orgy with half the team taking turns at her until my mate pointed out Morton were playing in Peterhead that night and would have been, at best, half way down the M8 at the time she was supposed to be being poled by half a dozen footballers. Then some guy from Greenock died in a car crash. Never knew him myself but a few of my pals went to school with him and he was happily settled with a bird (who I think was pregnant) and she was tearfully letting everyone know they had been having this year long affair (whilst being spitroasted by the Morton squad) and he was gonna leave his missus for her and had bought an engagement ring. Was putting on these crocodile tears saying he on the phone to her just before he crashed. Different mate said he should spent the money on a hands free kit instead. Never saw her much after she'd been rumbled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Was there not someone on here who said that they shagged Sharleen Spiteri? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Started just ignoring her stories but at a party she started telling us all how the night before she had been in an orgy with half the team taking turns at her until my mate pointed out Morton were playing in Peterhead that night and would have been, at best, half way down the M8 at the time she was supposed to be being poled by half a dozen footballers.That would have been fun to see her try and fumble her way out of that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneStacker Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 On 24/09/2018 at 14:53, diegomarahenry said: I met a guy I grew up with at the weekend, haven't spoken to him for maybe 15 years. He joined the army after leaving school and I had a brief chat with him, maybe 10min. He was in the pub on his own on a Saturday night. Most of my side of the conversation was a ratio of 4 nods to an uhu with the occasional 'Oh Right!' thrown in. In the 10min, he told me he was in the Royal service, Stood on guard duty at Buckingham palace where women would put phone numbers in his pocket, grab his arse/bollocks all day, Supermodels most of them. Most days he was shagging back at the barracks. The tattoo every year, famous for the army groupies, he is shagging every night (I've been once, the majority of the audience were over 65) These were the two most memorable ones, when I left the pub he was 'getting the eyes' off of one of the bar staff and was going to hang about, last time I saw him he was waiting on a taxi, on his own. Do any other posters on PnB have any mates who make up obviously false shagging stories. I'm ex Scots Guards way back when a pint cost 50p, This was a popular myth that the fuds would tell you when you first got to do cerimonials , buck hoose, windsor castle etc, total bollocks , muppets would say you would get blow jobs through the fence at the back of windsor, phone numbers from tourists at tower bridge blah blah blah only the simpeltons would carry the story on. anyway "Royal Service" was he a feckin butler ? as it aint a Regiment, prob a cook, they were always fuds n liars. Only regular shag you would get in the forces was the manky tarts that would hang around the squaddie pubs looking for a sap to marry them n get them into married quarters, they were always good for a quickie n a dose tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 3 hours ago, Edmond Dantès said: Was there not someone on here who said that they shagged Sharleen Spiteri? Who hasn’t? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 50 minutes ago, StoneStacker said: I'm ex Scots Guards way back when a pint cost 50p, This was a popular myth that the fuds would tell you when you first got to do cerimonials , buck hoose, windsor castle etc, total bollocks , muppets would say you would get blow jobs through the fence at the back of windsor, phone numbers from tourists at tower bridge blah blah blah only the simpeltons would carry the story on. anyway "Royal Service" was he a feckin butler ? as it aint a Regiment, prob a cook, they were always fuds n liars. Only regular shag you would get in the forces was the manky tarts that would hang around the squaddie pubs looking for a sap to marry them n get them into married quarters, they were always good for a quickie n a dose tho. Do you just need to tell them you're a soldier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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