diegomarahenry Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 I met a guy I grew up with at the weekend, haven't spoken to him for maybe 15 years. He joined the army after leaving school and I had a brief chat with him, maybe 10min. He was in the pub on his own on a Saturday night. Most of my side of the conversation was a ratio of 4 nods to an uhu with the occasional 'Oh Right!' thrown in. In the 10min, he told me he was in the Royal service, Stood on guard duty at Buckingham palace where women would put phone numbers in his pocket, grab his arse/bollocks all day, Supermodels most of them. Most days he was shagging back at the barracks. The tattoo every year, famous for the army groupies, he is shagging every night (I've been once, the majority of the audience were over 65) These were the two most memorable ones, when I left the pub he was 'getting the eyes' off of one of the bar staff and was going to hang about, last time I saw him he was waiting on a taxi, on his own. Do any other posters on PnB have any mates who make up obviously false shagging stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 @Poet of the Macabre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 P&B is made up of 49% deviants, 1% sociopaths and 50% virgins.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 3 minutes ago, sjc said: P&B is made up of 49% deviants, 1% sociopaths and 50% virgins.... As low as 50%? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Over the years I've heard many, many stories, some of which are just that and some of which will be true. Probably? Possibly? Who cares? They can't all be lying What I have gleaned from this is that the people who take the most umbrage with 'shagging fantasists' are the ones who deep down know they've no stories to tell, the poor wee lambs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Shocked that this guy was in the Armed Forces tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Ex forces m8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 I've shagged loads of birds but they were all on holiday so you won't know them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 I had a mate like that. Every time we went out he would be getting KB's all over the place but would always come out with some shite the next day that he pulled some gorgeous bird in the taxi queue, chippy, walking home. What made it worse was that he would chat up any old rough munter in sheer desperation at getting some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 I'm in the Armed Forces (I don't like to mention it though) and it's made not a jot of difference to the amount of times I've been told "just f**k off ya fanny" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salvo Montalbano Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Guy I used to work with was like that. Used to always start a story with "an ex of mine" or "This girl u was with" as if he couldn't refer to a female without claiming he'd shagged her. He once came into work this morning saying "Never again. I told myself never again" in one of those Facebook "look at me" kind of ways. Eventually someone did say "What?" to which he replied "Oh, I'm just talking to myself. I said I'd never again have a threesome but of course what do I go and do last night?" What was worse was that he'd actually gone out briefly with a friend of someone else at work (he didn't know she'd known this other lassie) so half his fantatist bullshit was easily confirmed as just that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 1 hour ago, sjc said: P&B is made up of 49% deviants, 1% sociopaths and 50% virgins.... So which group are you in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 I was waiting for a job interview once and this guy pulls out his phone and informs everyone that the wallpaper "Is my bird." Tbf she was a proper wid but it was clearly a pic of some model from the internet. He then said "she's a pure nymph by the way." I found it difficult not to laugh at him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 24 minutes ago, Trackdaybob said: I'm in the Armed Forces (I don't like to mention it though) and it's made not a jot of difference to the amount of times I've been told "just f**k off ya fanny" Have you heard of anyone trying the "A combat injury means I may never get an erection again..................It's a miracle!" patter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 1 hour ago, sjc said: P&B is made up of 49% deviants, 1% sociopaths and 50% virgins.... Some of us are all three, m8. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 17 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Have you heard of anyone trying the "A combat injury means I may never get an erection again..................It's a miracle!" patter? I have not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diegomarahenry Posted September 24, 2018 Author Share Posted September 24, 2018 A guy I used to hang about with would hint at sleeping with other mates girlfriends/wives. so that you obviously wouldn't ask her, or her boyfriend/husband if it was true. I heard it 2-3 times and then just started calling bullshit. He also used to bluetooth pictures of his penis to strangers on trains Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 This guy shagged a bird at his gran's bit except it was his gran, so that's a bit off.https://abc7.com/news/man-killed-grandma-after-trying-to-rape-her-his-mom-police-say/1167375/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JakeSAFC Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 He also used to bluetooth pictures of his penis to strangers on trains Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 46 minutes ago, diegomarahenry said: He also used to bluetooth pictures of his penis to strangers on trains Pics or gtf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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