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Melanius Mullarkey

Stories from the Courts

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Just now, Dee Man said:

I'm more interested in why ayrmad was at court tbh. 

My friend at the time was binning his QC and devising a wee plan with Mr McBride, the wee guy almost halved his jail time.

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Never done jury duty but attended court in moral support of my sister who had took a pixaxe to her ex mans car rather than stab him (on my advice). that was quite funny. 

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This popped up on Listverse today ...

http://listverse.com/2018/09/25/10-cold-killers-who-made-the-mistake-of-representing-themselves/

Not the most light-hearted of lists, but this did make me laugh:

Alcala decided not only to represent himself during the murder trial but also to cross-examine himself in the third person. In court, he asked himself in a much deeper voice than normal, “Rodney, will you please tell us about your hair?” He continued, “Okay, Mr. Alcala, can you tell us what you did June 15?”

After each question, he replied in a higher-pitched tone. It was all quite confusing to the court. Orange County Superior Court Judge Francisco Briseno described the situation as a “tad awkward.” 

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I'm not saying he had to defend himself but that was what the judge said to him at the time, when I left that day the wee guy was still under the impression that he was defending himself on the Monday, he had been offered 10 years for a murder plea, ended up getting 10 years for a lesser charge, might not sound like a difference but you've no lifelong License for the 2nd, and you'll serve 40 months less. 

Ah right, when you said “judge ordered him to defend himself” I thought, well, the judge ordered him to defend himself? I’m confused now.
I’ve been in court once, on jury duty but wasn’t selected. Been fined and cautioned plenty times but usually for daft stuff.

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4 minutes ago, NJ2 said:


Ah right, when you said “judge ordered him to defend himself” I thought, well, the judge ordered him to defend himself? I’m confused now.
I’ve been in court once, on jury duty but wasn’t selected. Been fined and cautioned plenty times but usually for daft stuff.

Tbf it was 16 years ago so it might have been an off the cuff remark by somebody rather than an order from the judge. It was the village of Fenwick rather than the hotel too. Memory's a funny thing. 

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2 hours ago, ayrmad said:

Was in  attendance at Killie High Court on a Friday when the judge ordered the accused to defend himself on Monday morning as Mr Findlay hadn't and couldn't appear, you've never seen the colour and cockiness of anyone disappear so quickly, think he ended up with 10 years.

WHat was the charge?  Something #staunch related?

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a lawyer told me his grandfather had read a court report in a South of Scotland paper in the 1970s about a case of mutton molesting.

The accused reportedly said, when found guilty, "it's a sad day when a man cannot interfere with his ain sheep"...

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4 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Tbf it was 16 years ago so it might have been an off the cuff remark by somebody rather than an order from the judge. It was the village of Fenwick rather than the hotel too. Memory's a funny thing. 

It came across as an order to me as I sat in on it,I've no idea what actually happened after that day and I just remembered the wee guy mentioning stabbing someone in Fenwick to me, I just assumed that it was the hotel.

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3 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

WHat was the charge?  Something #staunch related?

He got murder reduced to culpable homicide.

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1 minute ago, Brother Blades said:


I’d have culpable homicided the judge as soon as I found out he was joking.

I don't think he was joking at the time, he was pissed off that Findlay hadn't turned up and was taking his frustration out on the wee innocuous looking guy in the dock, there was certainly no clarification that the judge didn't mean it by the time I was outside talking to the wee fella and his mates.

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Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Ach thats nice. 

Wasn't good for the guy he plunged.

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16 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

He plunged a guy to death?  With a plunger?

Away and be a dick with someone else.

Edited by ayrmad

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20 hours ago, Mr Pikey said:

Never done jury duty but attended court in moral support of my sister who had took a pixaxe to her ex mans car rather than stab him (on my advice). that was quite funny. 

Pikey by name, Pikey by nature. 

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8 minutes ago, ali_91 said:

Ayrmad is an absolute fantasist. Some boy. 

Don't do fantasy.

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