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Stories from the Courts


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On ‎15‎/‎09‎/‎2018 at 00:04, welshbairn said:

Not sure if this actually happened, but there was a German brought up on a minor charge at Aberdeen Sheriffs Court, and the Sheriff asked if anyone in the courtroom could translate and someone volunteered. "Ask him his name please." "Vot eess yoor naym?" As I remember it he got done for contempt.

stories been doing the rounds for years in various guises,pretty sure its an urban myth.deserves to be genuine though

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On ‎15‎/‎09‎/‎2018 at 14:50, supermik said:

Done jury duty once, loved it.

Was called up once as main witness to a very serious assault. Never went and never heard anything from them again!

you were the main witness and you never turned up?and nothing happened?i can only assume the case had already been dealt with then as otherwise I'm pretty sure youd have been lifted

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On ‎16‎/‎09‎/‎2018 at 20:57, BigBo10 said:

Sheriff at Greenock after listening to a long and enthusiastic mitigation plea for a multiple repeat offender. “ Well what does he want then? A pat on the heid and an aipple?” (Slang words in posh accent added to the hilarity I’m told.)

there used to be a sherriff Cameron doing the court circuits in the north of Scotland in tain,dornoch and wick.

he had an evil,malicious wee smile and when he did smile you knew someone was getting it-I mind him telling a defence solicitor,doing his usual lying mitigation pish, that the more he came out with his guff the worse it would be for his client. the solicitor wisely shut up

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On ‎15‎/‎09‎/‎2018 at 21:14, Dindeleux said:



Anyway the guy had caused trouble in a take away shop and the police had been called. When they arrived and started trying to sort the issue out a woman copper was called by the accused a “fucking fat c**t” which was quite funny hearing the clerk saying out loud.
 

I remember being in court about 20 years ago when a policewoman had to inform the court a local jakey had refereed to her as "a hatchet faced c**t",id seen her in the police witness room earlier where her upcoming evidence was causing much hilarity

ran into her again a couple of months ago and reminded her about this, she rolled her eyes and told me shes never been allowed to live it down since

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15 hours ago, maicoman said:

Must watch "Chopper" again Cracking film with a brilliant performance by Eric Bana considering it was his first ever acting role

It is a brilliant film that one, I've got the DVD lying around somewhere I'll need to look it out and watch it again. I did not realise it was Eric Bana's first acting role, if you have a look at clips of the real Chopper Reed you can see how bang on Eric Bana got him.

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28 minutes ago, ShaggysBeard said:

It is a brilliant film that one, I've got the DVD lying around somewhere I'll need to look it out and watch it again. I did not realise it was Eric Bana's first acting role, if you have a look at clips of the real Chopper Reed you can see how bang on Eric Bana got him.

Can't mind the name of the Australian comic, but there are a few clips on YouTube of a boy who done short comedy skits of Chopper. I'd seen these a while before the movie and couldn't really take the character seriously as a result!

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9 minutes ago, Ross. said:

Can't mind the name of the Australian comic, but there are a few clips on YouTube of a boy who done short comedy skits of Chopper. I'd seen these a while before the movie and couldn't really take the character seriously as a result!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw5kH7civTo

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2 minutes ago, Mr X said:

When you say "for years" you mean since it was on Only Fools and Horses?

I heard about it when I was working out of Aberdeen in the late Seventies. The first episode of Only Fools and Horses was in 1981.

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2 hours ago, Mr X said:

When you say "for years" you mean since it was on Only Fools and Horses?

no idea when that was aired

ive had involvement with courts since 1995 and it was certainly doing the rounds back then

whos to say the writers hadnt included a funny story they themselves had heard,though?

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2 hours ago, Ross. said:

Can't mind the name of the Australian comic, but there are a few clips on YouTube of a boy who done short comedy skits of Chopper. I'd seen these a while before the movie and couldn't really take the character seriously as a result!

Ronnie Johns half hour sketch show

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not sure the only fools and horses sketch had anything to do with the courts. the way i remember it dell boy was trying to sell a russian womans baby to boycie. she goes in to labour and screams. rodney asks if shes alright and del boy says "how do i know i dont speak russian"

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20 minutes ago, ah-dee said:

not sure the only fools and horses sketch had anything to do with the courts. the way i remember it dell boy was trying to sell a russian womans baby to boycie. she goes in to labour and screams. rodney asks if shes alright and del boy says "how do i know i dont speak russian"

Shes German. They're in the pub and Uncle Albert says he picked up some German in the navy. He then, word for word, says the court story

But Im sure its just a coincidence. Courts being well know places for that kind of comedic genius, particularly in the 70s

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