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SaintDougie

Things that make you cringe

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10 hours ago, Zen Archer said:

Did his ex-wives get 13p each?

Things that make me cringe?

Hmmmm...

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Hate opening Christmas presents in front of people, because you’re expected to act a certain way (surprise, gratuitous acceptance, etc), whereas I’d just say thank you very much, and move onto the next one.

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Where I'm working just now, the online system used to schedule holidays automatically gives you your birthday off so it eliminates at least one of the main causes of whiprounds. Smart.

Dunno if it's common 'cause it only happened in one place I worked, but in New Zealand no-one got money or gifts when leaving a job, rather the person leaving had to essentially lay on a spread for everyone else. From the moment folk handed in their notice they were persistently reminded of their obligation to do this as well.  Absolutely ludicrous state of affairs.

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On 24/08/2018 at 14:40, heedthebaa said:

I’m leaving my work on Tuesday, been there since i left school, 35 years. I want a piper piping me oot the gates, I want a buffet, I want alcohol, I want presents, doves and balloons released as I walk out, or better carried out by workmates sitting in a chair on a pallet, a fly past by the red arrows would be taking the piss, but nice also. What I don’t want is a fuss

I think you might get your wish about being carried out by your workmates..

Spoiler

tarred.jpg.30ee1e984605b90a7de3ae5cc1e273db.jpg

 

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22 hours ago, Granny Danger said:

The idea of having to travel by bus would make me cringe.

 

can I have your free pass then, ya ungrateful auld get?

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Whenever someone at work brings in their newborn baby.

“AWWWW LOOK AT THE BABY!!!!”

No thanks, I’ve seen a lot of them, they all look the same basically.

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"Here we fucking go" chants. 

People who sing football songs anywhere other than football matches. 

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On 8/24/2018 at 15:00, DA Baracus said:

I'll sign a card but I never contribute to collections at work. 

Signing the card but not contributing is weasel behaviour. Didnae chip in, dinnae sign. 

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23 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

Whenever someone at work brings in their newborn baby.

“AWWWW LOOK AT THE BABY!!!!”

No thanks, I’ve seen a lot of them, they all look the same basically.

Mind not long after starting my current job one of the bosses said 'All babies look alike anyway' and I said 'Aye, wee bald and chubby - a bit like you actually.'

There are times that being a legendary wit is more of a curse than a blessing but I'm still employed thankfully. 

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On 8/24/2018 at 21:53, BigFatTabbyDave said:

The whip-round thing...does anyone ever check that the money actually goes to the intended recipient? I ran into two folk that I'd worked with at one company who claimed they hadn't even received a card, and I can remember the money being collected. I got the impression that the folk who were likely to stay in touch with colleagues would get something sent their way, while the folk who kept to themselves were given hee-haw and the cash went into the head of HR's pocket (as it was always she who managed the collection). Made me wonder how often that happens at other firms.

@DA Baracus - I recommend giving that as your excuse for not contributing, while fixing the collector with an icy, accusatory stare. Should make the rest of the day a bit more lively, at least.

Do you work with Deefiant?

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"Here we fucking go" chants. 
People who sing football songs anywhere other than football matches. 

Fucking hate that at gigs, particularly foreign bands who think that all Scottish people are morons who chant ‘here we here we here we fucking go’, everytime I hear that at gigs a little part of my soul dies.
I also hate when I go abroad and its obvious some really ‘funny people’ have taught the bar staff etc the latest hysterical ‘patter’, had a wee waiter in Turkey go ‘oh Scottish? f**k the pope, auch aye the noo’, guy couldnt understand why I got up and left. People who go abroad and do stuff like that should have their passport seized, along with the tossers who travel and wear their old firm strips everywhere, the uniform of the complete fanny.

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Whenever someone at work brings in their newborn baby.

“AWWWW LOOK AT THE BABY!!!!”

No thanks, I’ve seen a lot of them, they all look the same basically.


All babies really don’t look the same though and it’s something you will realise when you have your own. I saw the ugliest baby I have ever seen my life today in an Asda. It looked like some sort of combination of mini me and Kryten from Red Dawrf.

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59 minutes ago, throbber said:

 


All babies really don’t look the same though and it’s something you will realise when you have your own. I saw the ugliest baby I have ever seen my life today in an Asda. It looked like some sort of combination of mini me and Kryten from Red Dawrf.

 

Bit harsh Throbber. Going to have to pull you up there. Some babies have facial disfigurement which is a bloody shame and really tough on the parents and the kid in later years... 

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On the subject of retiral presentations, I've been at one that turned out to be hilarious. After the senior manager had made a speech (obviously with next to no knowledge about the guy who was finishing up after 43 years), the retiree then launched into a tirade against said manager and all the other supervisors that were there. He went through them all one by one, sharing his thoughts about their individual talents and abilities, or lack of. Really wish someone had filmed it.

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Bit harsh Throbber. Going to have to pull you up there. Some babies have facial disfigurement which is a bloody shame and really tough on the parents and the kid in later years... 


I apologise for my insensitive comment.

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When someone is signing along to a song and the bit they sign is different to what is on the song.

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