Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 3 minutes ago, Edmond Dantès said: I have not, and never will, contributed to any whip round. If you REALLY want to buy someone flowers for some nonsense reason then get them yourself. There was a whip round for my old boss (who wasn't universally popular) getting married for the third time. Hilariously, the whip round raised the grand total of about 40p. Did his ex-wives get 13p each? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Fucking up self service. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 The whip-round thing...does anyone ever check that the money actually goes to the intended recipient? I ran into two folk that I'd worked with at one company who claimed they hadn't even received a card, and I can remember the money being collected. I got the impression that the folk who were likely to stay in touch with colleagues would get something sent their way, while the folk who kept to themselves were given hee-haw and the cash went into the head of HR's pocket (as it was always she who managed the collection). Made me wonder how often that happens at other firms. @DA Baracus - I recommend giving that as your excuse for not contributing, while fixing the collector with an icy, accusatory stare. Should make the rest of the day a bit more lively, at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 My work is under strict instructions to never acknowledge any of my birthdays, and I'd imagine this would be applied to any workplace unfortunate enough to have me in it in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 7 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: The whip-round thing...does anyone ever check that the money actually goes to the intended recipient? I ran into two folk that I'd worked with at one company who claimed they hadn't even received a card, and I can remember the money being collected. I got the impression that the folk who were likely to stay in touch with colleagues would get something sent their way, while the folk who kept to themselves were given hee-haw and the cash went into the head of HR's pocket (as it was always she who managed the collection). Made me wonder how often that happens at other firms. @DA Baracus - I recommend giving that as your excuse for not contributing, while fixing the collector with an icy, accusatory stare. Should make the rest of the day a bit more lively, at least. I don't make any excuses. I just politely decline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Just now, DA Baracus said: I don't make any excuses. I just politely decline. There's your mistake. That's why they keep asking you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 i've worked at my current job for 28 years - at least 18 of which are because staying there and enduring hell on earth for nine hours a day is infinitely preferable to undergoing some shithouse "leaving do" - i'm going to outlast you all, you set of c***s ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 12 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: I have a friend who can't watch stuff like Borat and Bruno cos they make him cringe. Fair enough cos it's "real people", but he can't even watch stuff like Peep Show and Alan Partridge for the same reason. all of the above are utterly brilliant, but i used to really struggle with the office on occasion - david brent was the arsehole to end all arseholes.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 I'll be sitting on a bus and a memory of behaving like a twat years ago will hit me and I'll be full blown cringe mode, and sweaty blushing. Nothing major, just embarrassing memories. Still building up the courage to watch the latest Borat thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 3 minutes ago, welshbairn said: I'll be sitting on a bus and a memory of behaving like a twat years ago will hit me and I'll be full blown cringe mode, and sweaty blushing. Nothing major, just embarrassing memories. Yeah. I think maybe the brain comes with some kind of failsafe to stop you getting carried away with yourself, and reminds you that you're still a useless shite from time to time. Probably a good thing. I wonder when Donald Trump had the operation to have his removed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 30 minutes ago, welshbairn said: I'll be sitting on a bus and a memory of behaving like a twat years ago will hit me and I'll be full blown cringe mode, and sweaty blushing. Nothing major, just embarrassing memories. Still building up the courage to watch the latest Borat thing. The idea of having to travel by bus would make me cringe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 ^^^self made businessman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Ooh, hark at the champagne socialist over here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 I'll be sitting on a bus and a memory of behaving like a twat years ago will hit me and I'll be full blown cringe mode, and sweaty blushing. Nothing major, just embarrassing memories. Still building up the courage to watch the latest Borat thing.Aye I do that. Horrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 A site agent I worked with years ago came into work one Monday morning and told me that he'd been out on an all day drinking session, when around 6pm the barmaid told him he'd had enough and wasn't getting served. Being a short guy he naturally suffered from small man syndrome and reacted accordingly by ripping off the Guinness "pint" and throwing it and a volley of abuse at the barmaid before leaving. He later found himself flat on his back in a crowded kebab shop crying his eyes out like a little girl after the barmaid (who'd by now finished her shift at the pub) responded to his earlier outburst with a "proper knee to the bollocks" that entailed "both arms up over his shoulders" and a "knee to the bollocks with such vergence that it lifted me (sic) off my (sic) feet" Whilst I couldn't help but laugh and wince at his story, I did cringe for him at having to live that down in a such a small town. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparky88 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Restaurants calling the food they serve 'street food'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resk Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Collecting for c***s that have succeeded in procreating or convinced some fud to marry them seems as rife in the oil as it is in other industries, even though we are pretty handsomely paid in this racket. That's in the UK - I'm happy to say that in my 18 months working in Norway, not once have I been approached to chip in for any c**t's wedding / birthday / bairn. Maybe it helps that no one carries cash here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Bunch of miserable cnuts here judging by the above posts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 10 hours ago, Zen Archer said: Did his ex-wives get 13p each? Things that make me cringe? Hmmmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 23 minutes ago, Addie said: Things that make me cringe? Hmmmm... Things that make you go hmmm thread for this pish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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