The Master Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 1 hour ago, Jason King said: Anyway - airports, the complete cretins who still apparently think that the 100ml thing doesn't apply to them and who are always placed right in front of you in the security queue and who then spend decades arguing that they can take their 4 litres of vodka or three bottles of shampoo through in their hand luggage. 100% guaranteed to be scheme goblins from Glasgow we well. I flew out of Edinburgh a couple of weeks ago and when I reached security, already there were two older gentlemen who were arguing about the 100ml thing. The bit I overheard while filling my tray was "can't this 200ml bottle go in place of two 100ml bottles?", and the complete failure to understand why it doesn't work like that. Rumour has it they're still there to this day. Another annoyance is people who decide to have family meetings in the most stupid of places. Coming back to Edinburgh last week, a family of 10 decided they had urgent business to discuss at the top of the stairs/escalator that takes you down to passport control. Mind you that's not restricted to airports; it's fairly common in shopping centres, railway stations...anywhere public that has stairs really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShaggysBeard Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 I did the big shop on Saturday in shorts and it was raining. f**k it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Now regret starting this thread!! Currently sitting in the plane on the runway , in 30oC heat , with at least a one hour delay and air con not working properly on the plane ! Wish I was one of the c***s in shorts and flip flops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Was in Vienna last weekend and waiting at the airport on Sunday for the flight back, they announced a 40 minute delay to the flight. Some boy waiting at the gate took this quite badly and went on a fairly mental rant, shouting and screaming abuse at the desk while standing about 10 metres away from it. The 2 lassies from Austrian Airlines didn't quite know what to do. Quick word from security and he sat down and shut up quick style. I hope they threatened to Fritzl him to death. Most annoying thing was that the flight ended up cancelled. He should have saved his rant for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShaggysBeard Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: I once had to wait for ages while a guy argued the toss over his penknife. I've always found the owning and carrying of a penknife/swiss army knife (are they the same thing?) very odd and suspicious behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Exclusive footage of @Unleash The Nade on his flight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WullieBroonIsGod Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Budget airlines charging extra to check on a bag, resulting in scheme goblins and tight arses trying to use hand luggage to faciliate their whole trip. Fucking ages at security whilst all the toiletries are shuffled into the wee clear bag. Pay the extra £25 and check the fucker on. Worth every penny not to have to cart about cabin baggage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 What you idiots need are a pair of these: Sure, you won't be pulling any 9s or 10s in those, but you'll be well prepared for hot and cold weather and minimal space taken up in your hand luggage.You post like a fanny, now confirm.Just see you sitting next to someone on the flight zipping up just before landing.What a roaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 This is getting good. Ten minutes after the announced delay , everyone now suddenly dying of thirst and demanding free water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Can't remember if I posted this before, but queuing at security at Glasgow airport, this guy suddenly remembers he's got a full tin of Lynx in his bag. So he whips it out, and rather than just giving himself a quick skoosh in the usual danger areas before discarding, he proceeds to spray THE FULL FUCKING CAN all over himself several times over. It took him about a minute and the air was reeking of Lynx Africa. I can still fucking taste it. That was you wasn't it?Trying to get the ladies before taken off....sad but true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 40 minutes ago, The OP said: People who stand shoulder to shoulder on escalators and moving walkways are annoying. In fact, not just exclusively to airports, I never understand why perfectly able bodied people stop moving when they hit an escalator. “Please stand to the right”, so they stand on the right and block the left with their bags/luggage. c***s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 People who kick up a hissy fit at check-in with regards to the weight of their bags, very typically shouting "yes, mine's just over but his is under / altogether it's the same weight going on!" Yes love (a gross generalisation about women being the ones that overpack of course, but f*** it, it's true), but health and safety limits staff to what they can lift. This means they can't simply throw on your 200 outfits that you brought for 7 days and therefore they need additional logistics with additional overheads to deal with your inability to pack. Eta: my favourite: "how can it be 27kg when my bathroom scales said it was 20? Your machine must be wrong!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Just now, SlipperyP said: You post like a fanny, now confirm. Just see you sitting next to someone on the flight zipping up just before landing. What a roaster. You pretend you murdered your dad. I don't think I'll be too worried that you think I'm a roaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 8 minutes ago, Unleash The Nade said: This is getting good. Ten minutes after the announced delay , everyone now suddenly dying of thirst and demanding free water. Just wait for the Chinese whispers to go around, eventually leading to somebody phoning the airlines and demanding £600 for a 2hr delay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 You pretend you murdered your dad. I don't think I'll be too worried that you think I'm a roaster.Pretended? No, he is dead. You are correct, I never murdered my dad. I did help him die.Thanks. Have good day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 22 minutes ago, ShaggysBeard said: I've always found the owning and carrying of a penknife/swiss army knife (are they the same thing?) very odd and suspicious behaviour. People think it odd here if you are a guy and you don't carry one at all times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 14 minutes ago, Unleash The Nade said: This is getting good. Ten minutes after the announced delay , everyone now suddenly dying of thirst and demanding free water. You'll be needing litres of the stuff and salt tablets to replace all the sweat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 4 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Just wait for the Chinese whispers to go around, eventually leading to somebody phoning the airlines and demanding £600 for a 2hr delay. A pregnant woman was feeling unwell and needed some water , so the air hostess ( Ryanair) gave her one . Now almost every c**t is demanding free water as they’re “ on the verge of passing out “ Hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 1 minute ago, welshbairn said: You'll be needing litres of the stuff and salt tablets to replace all the sweat. Luckily I’m about 4 stone below the average weight on the plane , so much worse cases than me atm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 7 minutes ago, SlipperyP said: I never murdered my dad. I did help him die. I truly hope you use this defence in court if they ever catch up with you. Which they won't. Because it never happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.