c***s At Airports

[Super_J]

Got to say I'm a fan of the new Ryanair hand luggage policy. And that's not as someone who is going to pay to bring hand luggage on board. I've no problem with getting it tagged and them checking it into hold while I can still take what I need on in a smaller bag. Saves queuing wondering what nick the overhead lockers are going to he on since everyone's bag is too big these days. End up walking 20 rows away from your seat to store your bag cause c***s just put theirs the first space they find and grab it on way out.

People say it holds you back at the other end having to wait at reclaim but the handful of times I've done it, the hand luggage bags are out prompt as f**k and you're on your way.

Doddle.

[mishtergrolsch]

I fucking hate airports.

 

Went over to visit family in Milan with the wife. No problems, all good.

On the way back, fucking hell.

Was an early flight, maybe 8.30am or something and we were 'queuing' to go through the metal detectors. So in Italy, that means everyone get as close to the machine (which was still a good 20 meters away at this point) as possible, when the guy waves the closest person towards him then that means everyone fucking bolts to the machine. One old woman had a massive painting, the frame of which cracked me in the pus as she flew past me. 

The security guard literally shouted 'Stop' and only three or four people did so. The other twenty or so just tried to pile in to get there first. The security guard ended up standing in the detector and shoo'd them all back. 

Meanwhile the Scottish folk in the rabble were just looking about dazed and confused. 

Bunch of nutters.

[DA Baracus]

9 hours ago, The Master said:

 

The 19 in Dundee goes to Kirkton. 

I win. 

Wrong. Kirkton is a nice leafy suburb compared to most of the stops on the Dunfermline 19.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

9 hours ago, Heart of Northern said:

No idea. My mate flies a lot and he said it was one of the worst he's seen!
At one point there was nearly a proper scrape between 2 woman.
They asked my mates wife to move so they could sit nearer each other. She obviously said no, jeez thought it was about to go off again.
Luckily I had enough diazapam to keep me calm.
My girlfriend was on the outside isle. She was constantly bumped into by drunken bints.
Obviously I offered to swap but then they made everyone wear seatbelts so it stopped it. But just so fckn annoying on a 3 hour flight.
There was a lot of irate people .
Also everyone had to hear their moronic tales of their boyfriends jail time at the top of their voices
Sorry,rant over but it was savage

More to the point though, any wids (apart from your wife obvs)?

[Heart of Northern]

More to the point though, any wids (apart from your wife obvs)?

Wouldn't touch any of them. Utter hingouts.
Apart from my girlfriend obvs
Actually that's not true,one girl was gorgeous untill she spoke.
Most were mutton.

[19QOS19]

Palma Airport today. The (blurry!) one on the plane shows the complete c***s standing waiting almost as soon as the plane stopped. I left my phone in another bag so was unable to take a picture of the fucking dickheads at the luggage collection all completely rammed up against it. I was standing behind the line when some old c**t stood directly in front of me. I just shook my head and said "seriously?" Once I had collected them I stood and loudly asked my Mrs why the morons think they wouldn't be able to get their cases if they stood a foot further back. c***s. c***s Everywhere!

[nsr]

On 28/09/2018 at 16:53, speckled tangerine said:

I take it the 19 you are referring to is the Ballingry/Lochgelly/Cowdenbeath service? Most of the folk who use that bus would probably think that a metal flying bird is a sign from Satan himself to sacrafice the child with only  the five toes!

Do they breed a lot of one-legged children?

[MP_MFC]

Just landed back in Edinburgh, we're an hour early so we are sat waiting on ground crew arriving to let us off the plane. They've announced this twice and still after 20 mins of not moving, idiots are still standing up queuing waiting to get off. Sit back down, it's going to be a while.

Also, we had one clapper on landing. Surely he should have made himself known to staff to be ejected over the Forth?

[Newbornbairn]

Related to cnuts at airports - just returned my hire car at Alicante Airport and there was a Scottish guy going nuts about being billed €700 for bodywork damage of some sort. He interrupted his ranting to warn me they were a rip off company as I handed my keys over to the guy behind the counter and he headed off to check my car. While he was away I was treated to his thoughts on how hire car companies rip customers off etc etc. 

 

A few minutes later my guy comes back with the keys all smiling.

 

Todos bien? says I and he says no problem.  

 

Miserable cnut is dumbfounded as I walk past him saying "Shouldn't smash the car up mate"

 

Insert Clarkson smug gif here.

[AsimButtHitsASix]

A few months ago the missus telt me to book the 18th/19th off work but wouldn't say why. I presumed she had planned a weekend away in Brighton or my niece coming down to visit or something.

Monday night she tells me to pack a bag with clothes for a few days, swimming gear, my passport and toothbrush so I presume we're going abroad. And I've to take this bag to hers yesterday.

So I pack this bag, take it to work, humph through the rush hour tube from Seven Sisters to Brixton and carry it to Camberwell. She doesn't even acknowledge it and we have a wee night in. This morning she gets me up half an hour early and presents me with a train ticket on the Stansted Express from Tottenham Hale. We've to get the train just after five. It's about half an hour's walk from my work and I can leave at half four most days so she's timed it all well but one thing was bugging me.

"Why did I need to drag this bag all the way down to yours, during rush hour, and now I need to drag it all the way back, during rush hour, when I coulda just left it at work overnight?"
"Oh I never thought of that."

I think her paying for a surprise foreign holiday and me still moaning that I had to carry a bag around for a grand total of two unnecessary hours is peak ungrateful b*****d.

[The Master]

5 hours ago, AsimButtHitsASix said:

A few months ago the missus telt me to book the 18th/19th off work but wouldn't say why. I presumed she had planned a weekend away in Brighton or my niece coming down to visit or something.

Monday night she tells me to pack a bag with clothes for a few days, swimming gear, my passport and toothbrush so I presume we're going abroad. And I've to take this bag to hers yesterday.

So I pack this bag, take it to work, humph through the rush hour tube from Seven Sisters to Brixton and carry it to Camberwell. She doesn't even acknowledge it and we have a wee night in. This morning she gets me up half an hour early and presents me with a train ticket on the Stansted Express from Tottenham Hale. We've to get the train just after five. It's about half an hour's walk from my work and I can leave at half four most days so she's timed it all well but one thing was bugging me.

"Why did I need to drag this bag all the way down to yours, during rush hour, and now I need to drag it all the way back, during rush hour, when I coulda just left it at work overnight?"
"Oh I never thought of that."

I think her paying for a surprise foreign holiday and me still moaning that I had to carry a bag around for a grand total of two unnecessary hours is peak ungrateful b*****d.

You're missing the most important detail.

Was the "bag" a soft bag (rucksack etc.), or a wheeled case? 

[munro7]

Sitting waiting on a (delayed) flight to Vegas and they’ve announced twice that they won’t start boarding until everyone’s seated but it seems I’m the only one that has heard it!
Biggest c***s are BA though as I’m supposed to be there by now but they cancelled my flight yesterday.

[welshbairn]

7 hours ago, AsimButtHitsASix said:

A few months ago the missus telt me to book the 18th/19th off work but wouldn't say why. I presumed she had planned a weekend away in Brighton or my niece coming down to visit or something.

Monday night she tells me to pack a bag with clothes for a few days, swimming gear, my passport and toothbrush so I presume we're going abroad. And I've to take this bag to hers yesterday.

So I pack this bag, take it to work, humph through the rush hour tube from Seven Sisters to Brixton and carry it to Camberwell. She doesn't even acknowledge it and we have a wee night in. This morning she gets me up half an hour early and presents me with a train ticket on the Stansted Express from Tottenham Hale. We've to get the train just after five. It's about half an hour's walk from my work and I can leave at half four most days so she's timed it all well but one thing was bugging me.

"Why did I need to drag this bag all the way down to yours, during rush hour, and now I need to drag it all the way back, during rush hour, when I coulda just left it at work overnight?"
"Oh I never thought of that."

I think her paying for a surprise foreign holiday and me still moaning that I had to carry a bag around for a grand total of two unnecessary hours is peak ungrateful b*****d.

The passport and swimming gear are a ruse, she's getting you sectioned.

[Newbornbairn]

Can I nominate airport shops?

 

Killing time at Alicante airport I had a look around the shops and saw a natty looking wee credit card wallet. Looked quite good but the price of 50 Euros put me off. Got back home and found this identical one - https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07GKDFRM2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

£9.95.

 

I wonder if anything else is overpriced at airport shops?

[101]

1 hour ago, NewBornBairn said:

Can I nominate airport shops?

 

Killing time at Alicante airport I had a look around the shops and saw a natty looking wee credit card wallet. Looked quite good but the price of 50 Euros put me off. Got back home and found this identical one - https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07GKDFRM2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

£9.95.

 

I wonder if anything else is overpriced at airport shops?

Anything at boots - and why do they need your boarding pass? Is it so they can claim back the VAT and pocket the cash? I refused to give mine for a bottle of water and the woman wouldn't serve me without the pass

[welshbairn]

9 minutes ago, Adam101 said:

Anything at boots - and why do they need your boarding pass? Is it so they can claim back the VAT and pocket the cash? I refused to give mine for a bottle of water and the woman wouldn't serve me without the pass

I just say no when they ask for it and I've never been refused. They can only claim the VAT if you're flying outside the EU. Just noticed that they've started offering a discount if you are and spend more than £6.

[101]

2 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

I just no when they ask for it and I've never been refused. They can only claim the VAT if you're flying outside the EU. Just noticed that they've started offering a discount if you are and spend more than £6.

The particular woman must of just been a stickler, I was going outside the EU which is why I didn't give them it to line their pockets

[Miguel Sanchez]

I've seen this conversation before. 

[The Master]

On 18/10/2018 at 16:10, NewBornBairn said:

Can I nominate airport shops?

 

Killing time at Alicante airport I had a look around the shops and saw a natty looking wee credit card wallet. Looked quite good but the price of 50 Euros put me off. Got back home and found this identical one - https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07GKDFRM2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

£9.95.

 

I wonder if anything else is overpriced at airport shops?

On a more abstract level, I want to nominate the location of the duty free shop at Edinburgh Airport.

After a long queue at check-in last month, followed by an unusually (for me) long wait at security, I was in a bit of a rush. But “rush” isn’t something you can do when you’re forced to navigate your way past people casually wandering through a mini department store.

It’s obvious why they force you through that way but it’s a pain in the arse. 

[throbber]