The Moonster Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: I once had to fly to Dubai for work. As was the policy at the time, I was put on business class with Emirates. The look on some coupons as the shuffled past me, pished in my big seat playing with the buttons to move it up and down and generally looking out of place was delightful. So yes, once again on that occassion, the c**t rule stands. Getting a flat out kip on a flight home when rough was fucking sublime though. I can't imagine the state I'd have been in if I was on a longer flight. Surprised they didn't have to wheel you off the plane on arrival tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I can't imagine the state I'd have been in if I was on a longer flight. Surprised they didn't have to wheel you off the plane on arrival tbh.Despite my subsequent best efforts in the couple of weeks that followed, at that point I was under the impression that Dubai, and particularly the airport, isnt the place to be utterly ripped. I more than made up for it tbf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 38 minutes ago, DanMc99 said: can't stand business c***s and the airport with their stupid cunty briefcases and suits on , fuckin c***s, wear flowery shorts and a straw hat and join in with the rest of us. c***s Of course the uniform for business casual is a patterned shirt, blue casual blazer, jeans and brown shoes. A Cuntiform as I like to call it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Of course the uniform for business casual is a patterned shirt, blue casual blazer, jeans and brown shoes. A Cuntiform as I like to call it. Thank f*ck it's still too hot to wear a blazer over here. Everyone would have my card marked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Right. Have recovered from yesterdays experience.Automated passport readers should be armed with a captive bolt gun. Anyone who fails to put their passport in the correct way round more than once should be killed. Anyone trying to enter the fromt gate whilst the red light is on, killed. Anyone failing to look where the screen tells you to look, instead grinning like a buffoon or continuing their da'-esque rant about machines etc, killed. Old people, its hard to be too hard on them but airports are standard practice for most people, and instructions on each stage are always available. So why is it so difficult to know what can and cant go through security? If you dont know, follow instruction.They are not going to rebuild the departures section of Verona airport because you cant get a fucking seat. The Stansted flight leaving from the same gate as the Edinburgh flight but one hour later DOES NOT mean that the Edinburgh flight has been re routed through Stansted FFS. Stand back from the luggage carousel you selfish c**t. Lastly to show I am not biased. Mrs B. When I am standing in a sweltering departure lounge for nearly 2 hours because theres no seats, and its so busy there are aforementioned auld slavering c***s within a foot and a half of me in all directions, and you turn to me and say "im bored, tell me a story" you are not going to get a favourable reaction. Why the f**k would I, uncomfortable and seething as I am, and in a complete break from my character, start making up and reciting a story to another adult? Jesus wept. Defo flying with Emirates. ^^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highland Capital Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 3 hours ago, Bairnardo said: When I am standing in a sweltering departure lounge for nearly 2 hours because theres no seats, and its so busy there are aforementioned auld slavering c***s within a foot and a half of me in all directions, and you turn to me and say "im bored, tell me a story" you are not going to get a favourable reaction. Why the f**k would I, uncomfortable and seething as I am, and in a complete break from my character, start making up and reciting a story to another adult? Hang on, wait...what?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 3 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Lastly to show I am not biased. Mrs B. When I am standing in a sweltering departure lounge for nearly 2 hours because theres no seats, and its so busy there are aforementioned auld slavering c***s within a foot and a half of me in all directions, and you turn to me and say "im bored, tell me a story" you are not going to get a favourable reaction. Why the f**k would I, uncomfortable and seething as I am, and in a complete break from my character, start making up and reciting a story to another adult? Should've made up a story about pumping her sister/female relative. That would've eased the boredom. Especially for your fellow travellers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Hang on, wait...what?!Exactly. She was half joking, but occasionally, like when we are on holiday together, sometimes forgets my aversion for sickly shite like that and comes away wi some pish like that, or "dance with me" in the middle of the fucking street cos she can hear music coming from a bar or some shit. NAW. Dont make it awkward by asking me because you know il be a seething mess over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I think I love your Mrs. I'd love mine to come out with daft shit like that. I'm normally the one doing that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Probably forgets she's with Bairnardo and not Shandon in the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Got upgraded to First Class for a flight to NY once. Mother in Law got pished on the free whisky in the lounge then fell asleep on the plane which was a result. Steak and Dauphinoise potatoes with champagne. The seat reclined fully but it took ages to get to sleep because the stewardesses (all 8s and 9s) all ran over to fill my champagne glass when it got below half full. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Got upgraded to First Class for a flight to NY once. Mother in Law got pished on the free whisky in the lounge then fell asleep on the plane which was a result. Steak and Dauphinoise potatoes with champagne. The seat reclined fully but it took ages to get to sleep because the stewardesses (all 8s and 9s) all ran over to fill my champagne glass when it got below half full. first world problems for this pish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 9 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said: Got upgraded to First Class for a flight to NY once. Mother in Law got pished on the free whisky in the lounge then fell asleep on the plane which was a result. Steak and Dauphinoise potatoes with champagne. The seat reclined fully but it took ages to get to sleep because the stewardesses (all 8s and 9s) all ran over to fill my champagne glass when it got below half full. ^^^First Class c**t Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I got upgraded to first class on a British Airways flight from Damascus because there were only two folk on the flight, what with civil war and all that. The plane was stocked with the usual amount though, I think I took more advantage of the all you can eat than the bottomless booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Got a flight back from Bergen recently with Logan Air and the flight was 2/3rds empty. Got an extra Tunnocks Caramel Wafer and a coffee refill. RESULT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 5 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Got a flight back from Bergen recently with Logan Air and the flight was 2/3rds empty. Got an extra Tunnocks Caramel Wafer and a coffee refill. RESULT! ^^^ greedy c**t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 Judge lets off a driver who drove into a parking attendant and carried him on the bonnet for several hundred yards to save a £3 drop off fee at Manchester Airport. Not sure if there's 2 c***s or three in that story. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-45599295 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 12 hours ago, welshbairn said: Judge lets off a driver who drove into a parking attendant and carried him on the bonnet for several hundred yards to save a £3 drop off fee at Manchester Airport. Not sure if there's 2 c***s or three in that story. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-45599295 The parking attendant must have been earning commission on every £3 the robbing b*****ds extort for dropping someone off to make him fling himself on a bonnet like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 Another c**t at the airport - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 I like how they feel the need to draw a big red circle to alert us to the guys and the bags during the slow motion replay part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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