Domestic violence

[Father Ted]

I'm not suggesting anything. I'm offering an opinion.

If it's a straight case of domestic abuse then report it

But if it's as I say, then the man could be falsely being accused.

As for spectrum thing, what I meant is people suffer to different extents. Some cope well and others don't and it's a wide range of factors.

I do have sympathy for anyone at suffers but not when they target people with the more insidious side.

I am not saying this is definitely the case in this matter, I'm just saying it's a consideration.

I've said enough on the matter. I will leave it at that

[Priti priti priti Patel]

To be fair, Father Ted, I know where you are coming from as I have a male relative in that situation. He fortunately left the mother and after eight years of him asking for custody of the wean, he's finally maybe getting it after the mother phoned social services saying she couldn't cope one too many times. She would make all sorts of allegations against him when he wasn't even home and would fail to look after the little one who would disappear, get found up town, once had cuts into his neck because he got his head wrapped up in the chord for the blinds. Whenever it went to court for custody, she would claim domestic violence, because if there is a suspicion of domestic violence then you get legal aid for in a family case.

I don't get the impression that's happening with my neighbour but you can never tell. I like other posters' take on it "call the police, and let them decide".

(not to give the impression everyone around me is in a state - i actually have a v stable and positive home life with the wifie)

[BishopLenBrennan]

12 hours ago, Father Ted said:

Be careful how you proceed.

 

She could suffer from borderline personality disorder, it's a spectrum thing. Manic episodes, shouting, threats and repeated false accusations are commonplace.

 

Do you have definite proof he is violent towards her?

 

It could easily be she is exacting emotional and mental abuse on him, as a means of insidious control

 

By all means if you have definitive proof then report it.

 

Having dealt with a similar situation in the past, makes you look at things from a different angle.

 

Regardless of where fault lies, I do feel sorry for the bairns.

 

 

20 minutes ago, Father Ted said:

I'm not suggesting anything. I'm offering an opinion.

If it's a straight case of domestic abuse then report it

But if it's as I say, then the man could be falsely being accused.

As for spectrum thing, what I meant is people suffer to different extents. Some cope well and others don't and it's a wide range of factors.

I do have sympathy for anyone at suffers but not when they target people with the more insidious side.

I am not saying this is definitely the case in this matter, I'm just saying it's a consideration.

I've said enough on the matter. I will leave it at that

And you all wonder why I give this p***k a hard time?

 

[NJ2]

As for spectrum thing, what I meant is people suffer to different extents. Some cope well and others don't and it's a wide range of factors.

I’m not jumping on a bandwagon, I’m not going to say I’m offended by what you’ve said, I just want to ask what you mean by this?
Because I could mentally cope with being punched in the puss on the regular (not a real example, just a scenario) means it’s fine? I doubt this is what you mean, I just want to clarify.

[The Moonster]

33 minutes ago, Father Ted said:

I'm not suggesting anything. I'm offering an opinion.

If it's a straight case of domestic abuse then report it

But if it's as I say, then the man could be falsely being accused.

As for spectrum thing, what I meant is people suffer to different extents. Some cope well and others don't and it's a wide range of factors.

I do have sympathy for anyone at suffers but not when they target people with the more insidious side.

I am not saying this is definitely the case in this matter, I'm just saying it's a consideration.

I've said enough on the matter. I will leave it at that

You said "be careful how you proceed", I'm asking what you think the OP should do when all hears is screaming (which includes the occasional mention of violence). You say above that people need to consider the male may be the one on the receiving end of a mentally unstable attack, how should the OP "be careful" in reporting this?  The OP doesn't need to determine who's done what, all he needs to do is report that there is screaming and threats of violence and the Police determine who's being attacked and/or if someone may need mental help.

You say " if you are certain it's domestic abuse then report it", this insinuates that in the above case where he doesn't really know what's going on but has fears that someone may be on the receiving end of abuse that he shouldn't report it because he doesn't know for certain.  That's ridiculous IMO.

[RH33]

47 minutes ago, Father Ted said:

I'm not suggesting anything. I'm offering an opinion.

If it's a straight case of domestic abuse then report it

But if it's as I say, then the man could be falsely being accused.

As for spectrum thing, what I meant is people suffer to different extents. Some cope well and others don't and it's a wide range of factors.

I do have sympathy for anyone at suffers but not when they target people with the more insidious side.

I am not saying this is definitely the case in this matter, I'm just saying it's a consideration.

I've said enough on the matter. I will leave it at that

As BPD is uncommon, less than 2% population therefore Its very unlikely.  

Even then it’s still no excuse to be screaming and beating anyone.  

Domestic abuse is abuse. There are no mitigating circumstances. 

[Lisa Cuddy]

4 hours ago, Father Ted said:

11 hours ago, Lisa Cuddy said:

Wow. What a c**t you are. 

Go f**k yourself. Who do you think you are.

I don't "think" I'm anything. I AM calling you out for your outdated, victim blaming bullshit. 

There's absolutely no good reason not to contact the police in situations of domestic abuse, whoever is directed to and whatever the situation behind it. 

Even if there's a case to be made for a mental health condition leading to violence in some form, it's reportable. Even more so, given that there is increased vulnerability of one or more people. 

"proceed with caution"? f**k off.

[RH33]

All we need now is Bananna.

[Granny Danger]

4 minutes ago, Rowan said:

All we need now is Bananna.

Said no one ever.

 

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, Rowan said:

All we need now is Bananna.

Feminazis are to blame for women getting the odd righteous slap for trying to undermine the natural Patriarchal order.

[Venti]

10 minutes ago, Rowan said:

All we need now is Bananna.

He's too busy pumping Sofia Vergara.

[banana]

20 minutes ago, Rowan said:

All we need now is banana.

FTFY, and thanks fans, sorry I'm late.

Thread going better than expected with a few posters correctly pointing out that women are also perpetrators (moreso than men by common observation and the stats), and men also victims (moreso than women again by observation and the stats, including the common weaponisation of DV by way of false accusations, routinely to gain an advantage in the justice system), and that the kids have the shit end of it too (DV is generational, so they are more likely to pass it on to their own kids).

A few usual suspects wailing about these inconvenient facts, but that's sadly to be expected.

[sugna]

2 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

She would make all sorts of allegations against him when he wasn't even home and would fail to look after the little one who would disappear, get found up town, once had cuts into his neck because he got his head wrapped up in the chord for the blinds.

Lucky escape. He could have ended up a flat minor.

[GordonS]

 

3 hours ago, Father Ted said:

But if it's as I say, then the man could be falsely being accused.

False accusations do happen. But a much bigger problem is women (and sometimes men) getting physically and psychologically abused by their partners. Instead of trying to decide what's what through the wall, when the screaming and banging starts call the police and let them decide.

Quote

I've said enough on the matter. I will leave it at that

Yes, I think that's best.

[GordonS]

On 02/08/2018 at 00:50, GordonS said:

Not just me, my wife would break the skinny p***k in half and he knows it.

Coincidentally, yesterday my wife arrived back at the house with my father in law. They were parking outside my neighbour's window, and the thug was glaring at her, trying to stare her out. She stared back for a while before putting the window down and shouting, "don't you stare at me". He shat it and blustered, "naw, I was looking at something else." Sure pal.

It's a generalisation but I think men who beat their partners are more likely to be shitebags outside the house. They feel emasculated out in the world and take out their frustrations on the one person who'll take it. I suspect they also go for nice women who won't stand up to them, too. 

[NJ2]

Coincidentally, yesterday my wife arrived back at the house with my father in law. They were parking outside my neighbour's window, and the thug was glaring at her, trying to stare her out. She stared back for a while before putting the window down and shouting, "don't you stare at me". He shat it and blustered, "naw, I was looking at something else." Sure pal.
It's a generalisation but I think men who beat their partners are more likely to be shitebags outside the house. They feel emasculated out in the world and take out their frustrations on the one person who'll take it. I suspect they also go for nice women who won't stand up to them, too. 

Man looking out window, woman stops outside his house, stares at him then shouts at him. Aye, he’s the p***k for sure...

[D Angelo Barksdale]

1 hour ago, banana said:

FTFY, and thanks fans, sorry I'm late.

Thread going better than expected with a few posters correctly pointing out that women are also perpetrators (moreso than men by common observation and the stats), and men also victims (moreso than women again by observation and the stats, including the common weaponisation of DV by way of false accusations, routinely to gain an advantage in the justice system), and that the kids have the shit end of it too (DV is generational, so they are more likely to pass it on to their own kids).

A few usual suspects wailing about these inconvenient facts, but that's sadly to be expected.

Calling bullshit on this.

Sources plz.

[welshbairn]

4 minutes ago, Henderson to deliver ..... said:

Calling bullshit on this.

Sources plz.

While we wait, what does DV mean?

[GordonS]

2 minutes ago, NJ2 said:

Man looking out window, woman stops outside his house, stares at him then shouts at him. Aye, he’s the p***k for sure...

This is the first and last time you'll get a response from me, so enjoy it.

We're due to give evidence against him at Livingston Sheriff Court next month for battering his wife, about which we've called the police many times. When I say he was staring her out, it's because he was staring her out. He's a wee ned who glowers at us any time we pass, because we're the ones that call the police every time he kicks off and makes his partner scream in fear "don't hit me [name], don't hit me", before she's presumably hit and the smashing noises start. It's worked though, there's not been a serious incident in about 6 months. You'd have known most of that if you'd read through the quote-thread above.

You can choose to respond like a smartarse on the internet if you like, but I suggest when you do you constrain it to less serious issues, like football. This thread is for grown-ups and you're out of your depth.

[Fifes Elite Force]

2 hours ago, Lisa Cuddy said:

I don't "think" I'm anything. I AM calling you out for your outdated, victim blaming bullshit. 

There's absolutely no good reason not to contact the police in situations of domestic abuse, whoever is directed to and whatever the situation behind it. 

Even if there's a case to be made for a mental health condition leading to violence in some form, it's reportable. Even more so, given that there is increased vulnerability of one or more people. 

"proceed with caution"? f**k off.

Is it outdated to point out the man might be innocent in the situation rather than it being "victim blaming"?

In saying that I agree with the rest of the post I'm not sure how else someone is to proceed when they hear this sort of stuff tbh. Phoning the police is probably the best course of action and let them sort it out and decide if ti deserves to go to the PF.