Do you like religion?

[Mark Connolly]

2 hours ago, Ross. said:

And also with you, cunto.

Cue the awkward handshakes with people you don't know, don't want to know, will never see again and who I couldn't really give two fucks about finding peace.

Incorrect.

The correct response is now “And with your spirit”, after they changed the words a while back. (2012ish)

I discovered this at a family funeral where I brought shame on the family by not knowing the new words. My excuse of I’ve not quite got it since the change was not accepted since the change had happened around 4 or 5 years before!

[Granny Danger]

32 minutes ago, The OP said:

Brexit is a fact. That we’re all gonna be better off after Brexit is a relatively fantastical belief but I can see that it might conceivably be true. Millions of priests turning hunners of wafers into the flesh of a magical Jew every weekend seems far less likely. Jesus probably would’ve been about 5 foot 3 and presumably would’ve had a healthy BMI given he was the son of God. There just wouldn’t be enough to go around.

If there’s a Hard Brexit then trying to feed 5,000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish will become quite commonplace.

 

[Herman Hessian]

50 minutes ago, The OP said:

Jesus probably would’ve been about 5 foot 3 

you mean all the portrayals of him being six foot plus, quite imposing - but in a kindly, gentle "follow me, i'll look after you" kinda way - and with flowing locks, piercing eyes and quite a dashing demeanour might not be actually true ?

i'd never imagined the king of the jews being a stumpy little runt, with a cast in one eye and fat knees - i'm guessing that turning over the money-lenders' tables in the temple would have been less impactful if he'd had to call over a few hefty onlookers to give him a hand, and the sermon on the mount equally unimpressive if he'd had to stand on an upturned orange crate to make himself seen

have any P&B'ers overcome diminutive stature to become the annointed leader of a new worldwide religion, or made speeches which resonate across millennia setting moral guidelines which millions dutifully follow in spite of being able to get away with half-fare on the bus at the age of 30 plus, having to present identity docs to get served in a pub and not being able to fetch jazz-mags down off the top shelf in garages ?

[The OP]

10 minutes ago, Herman Hessian said:

you mean all the portrayals of him being six foot plus, quite imposing - but in a kindly, gentle "follow me, i'll look after you" kinda way - and with flowing locks, piercing eyes and quite a dashing demeanour might not be actually true ?

i'd never imagined the king of the jews being a stumpy little runt, with a cast in one eye and fat knees - i'm guessing that turning over the money-lenders' tables in the temple would have been less impactful if he'd had to call over a few hefty onlookers to give him a hand, and the sermon on the mount equally unimpressive if he'd had to stand on an upturned orange crate to make himself seen

have any P&B'ers overcome diminutive stature to become the annointed leader of a new worldwide religion, or made speeches which resonate across millennia setting moral guidelines which millions dutifully follow in spite of being able to get away with half-fare on the bus at the age of 30 plus, having to present identity docs to get served in a pub and not being able to fetch jazz-mags down off the top shelf in garages ?

5 foot 3 wouldn't have been wee in Judea in his day. Even if he was relatively tall I think you'd probably be looking at a smoutish (by modern standards) 5 foot 8.

[Ross.]

1 hour ago, Mark Connolly said:

Incorrect.

The correct response is now “And with your spirit”, after they changed the words a while back. (2012ish)

I discovered this at a family funeral where I brought shame on the family by not knowing the new words. My excuse of I’ve not quite got it since the change was not accepted since the change had happened around 4 or 5 years before!

Every day is a school day!

[Granny Danger]

1 hour ago, Herman Hessian said:

you mean all the portrayals of him being six foot plus, quite imposing - but in a kindly, gentle "follow me, i'll look after you" kinda way - and with flowing locks, piercing eyes and quite a dashing demeanour might not be actually true ?

 

Jesus was a WASP.  Live with it.

 

[banana]

1 hour ago, The OP said:

5 foot 3 wouldn't have been wee in Judea in his day. Even if he was relatively tall I think you'd probably be looking at a smoutish (by modern standards) 5 foot 8.

The c**t was ripped, likely trained in Krav Maga.

[Mark Connolly]

52 minutes ago, Ross. said:

Every day is a school day!

Say 5 Hail Marys and move on.

The words to that haven’t changed as far as I know!

[Duszek]

On 6/19/2018 at 11:24, Dee Man said:

After the kids have grown up and fucked off I'll be retiring to the Peruvian mountains to do just that. 

Hopefully. 

A friend has been telling me about her experiences taking ayuahasca, the visions sound mental. I'd be up for giving it a lash.

[DA Baracus]

What I've never understood about followers of Jesus is why they aren't Jewish. Jesus was Jewish so surely he was just following the tenets of the Jewish faith when firing around acting all nice?

Then again, you have to remember that absolutely none of it happened.

[banana]

5 minutes ago, Duszek said:

A friend has been telling me about her experiences taking ayuahasca, the visions sound mental. I'd be up for giving it a lash.

That's three folk in.

A P&B Gets Wrecked in Peru would make for a fine thread imo, get the GoFundMe sorted.

[The OP]

22 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

What I've never understood about followers of Jesus is why they aren't Jewish. Jesus was Jewish so surely he was just following the tenets of the Jewish faith when firing around acting all nice?

Then again, you have to remember that absolutely none of it happened.

Jews don’t think Jesus was the Messiah  and they are still waiting on him (or her, if he identifies as a female). I definitely think it would’ve made more sense for the Messiah to wait on cameraphones, live streaming and widespread broadband before spreading the word tbh.

[DA Baracus]

Just now, The OP said:

Jews don’t think Jesus was the Messiah  and they are still waiting on him (or her, if he identifies as a female). I definitely think it would’ve made more sense for the Messiah to wait on cameraphones, live streaming and widespread broadband before spreading the word tbh.

Not really what I asked.

Why did/do folk who followed Jesus not become Jewish?

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

1 minute ago, DA Baracus said:

Not really what I asked.

Why did/do folk who followed Jesus not become Jewish?

They wanted to keep the wee snood on the end of their boab.

[The OP]

5 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Not really what I asked.

Why did/do folk who followed Jesus not become Jewish?

It is what you asked. Jews do not agree that the Messiah has come to Earth and therefore nothing Jesus said matters in their opinion. Christians disagree and consider what Jesus said is more important than Moses or any other c**t. Muslims think Jesus was a prophet but not the son of God and not as good a prophet as wee Mo.

They all believe in the same God and the old testament is both a Christian and Jewish holy text.

[The OP]

@DA Baracus your question is basically “If rock n roll was derived from blues and jazz why do rock n roll bands not play blues and jazz” except with sky fairies instead of instruments.

[stuartsmfc]

Religion is very complex with imo Islam being the most complete and making most sense. 

Islam accepts every prophet from Adam to Abraham, Moses, Noah, Jesus etc and finishing with what they believe, the prophet Muhammad. The Quran has never changed unlike the bible or Torah. It's basically the same message from the Torah and bible without the texts being corrupted. 

It's also worth noting that Jesus never said he was God, the son of God or God in human form which is where the confusion comes in with Christianity.  You won't find anywhere if you look hard enough where he made these claims despite what fanatical Christians will tell you. 

Obviously the question then comes down to whether you believe in God and what religion suits you. I think it's a fallacy that religion causes most wars etc. I watched a video on that before and it explained that secular countries have actually caused more deaths than anything. I'll try and find it.

Its an interesting subject 

 

 

[Gordon EF]

1 hour ago, stuartsmfc said:

Religion is very complex with imo Islam being the most complete and making most sense. 

Islam accepts every prophet from Adam to Abraham, Moses, Noah, Jesus etc and finishing with what they believe, the prophet Muhammad.

 

I wouldn't say believing or following more absolute mentals / fictional characters makes something more complete or makes most sense tbh.

All religion is so blatantly made up, it would genuinely be laughable if so many mugs didn't believe it.

Agree about the wars though. Humans have always found ways to sort themselves into sides then kill each other. Religion's just another excuse.

[John Lambies Doos]

So are we saying that if we want to follow a religion, Islam is the best of a bad bunch?

[NotThePars]

If we’re giving it to the people who are doing the most with limited resources then I’m going with the Shia Muslims. Iran and Hezbollah making the United States, Israel and the Saudis look like mugs.