Do You Like Australians?

[BFTD]

Genuinely struggling to think of a single Aussie that I've met  

Hercules Returns is a tremendous film though, so they must be a great bunch of lads.

 

[welshbairn]

24 minutes ago, philpy said:

 

* There.

 

Even the Aussies hated him and kicked him back here. Time we had one way departure gates for certain types imo.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

We once had this mad Australian c**t who came to our school for about a year, probably about 2nd or 3rd year at high school.  He was a decent enough guy and he managed to kick f**k out of just about every supposed hard c**t in the couple of years above our class.

If you ever meet Keith Plant, say hi.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

26 minutes ago, Tynieness said:

Ooft can't believe I typed that, quite possibly the worst thing I have ever done.  I won't be back.  

I think this is good enough to constitute a contract.

[Cerberus]

I liked that documentary on Australian life called Mad Max: Fury Road.
The "actors" were all Americans and English though which was a let down.

8/10.
Fairly realistic.

[Venti]

You have to admire the fact they live in a country where pretty much everything can kill you.

[ICTJohnboy]

LIFE IN THE AUSTRALIAN ARMY

Letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (Eromanga is a small town west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shave though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing! At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - its a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Laura xx

 

[Cardinal Richelieu]

I've read that three times and I'm still none the wiser. When do we get the punchline?

[tamthebam]

this thread needs Mark E Smith's contribution IMHO. 

[J_Stewart]

Hamish Blake and Andy Lee are hilarious, great guys. All other Australians appear to be rude, obnoxious arseholes. I don’t care for them.

[Dindeleux]

Couldn't give a XXXX about them to be honest.

[Estragon]

One should never under any circumstances entertain the colonials.

[Highland Capital]

I always found Melbourne people very friendly.  I have heard Perth people aren't so nice.

[NJ2]

Boostin’ Kev is quite obviously a drug dealer, man’s gotta earn!
From my experience (I have actually met 2 (two) “Aussies”) and they seem nice if a bit unhinged. Their quizzes are fucking bullshit though.

[Bert Raccoon]

Crocodile Dundee was a great film and I will just assume all Australians are like Mick Dundee so they're ok in my book.

[Newbornbairn]

I like them

 

[Bairnardo]

I like them
 

Needs more Nicky Whelan IMO.

Aussies are generally arrogant types but they consider barman/maid to be a skilled trade and as such, I respect them hugely. We could learn a lot from them on that.

[Lichtie78]

Met a few who’ve come over and played cricket, all good lads and love a bevy. Agree with the comments that they swear a lot

[Shandon Par]

15 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

They're basically a poor man's South African.

I’ve never met a nice South African.

 

(That’s a lie, was out last night and one of the guys was a cheery South African.

Worked with this Australian girl in London. Very nippy, lazy and foul mouthed. She said I was her best ride since she’d got to England (which had only been about a month).

[Savage Henry]

I like them
 

Met a few who’ve come over and played cricket, all good lads and love a bevy. Agree with the comments that they swear a lot

Is that the cricket team?