Deadly animal experiences

[Peppino Impastato]

30 minutes ago, invergowrie arab said:

It's man and Mike Tyson is a shite boxer and a rapist.

It's not, Google it.  25% of everyone who has ever died has been killed by a mosquito.

[Shandon Par]

My mate took his kids to the safari park the other day. One of his boys needed as pee so he made the lad get out and do it by the car. Poor lad must have had the quickest pish ever. 

[nsr]

I was accosted by the most gigantic house spider I have ever seen a couple of years ago. This thing was so ridiculously big I could *hear* the crinkling sound as it walked across a poster on the wall. No lie.

[ah-dee]

I was accosted by the most gigantic house spider I have ever seen a couple of years ago. This thing was so ridiculously big I could *hear* the crinkling sound as it walked across a poster on the wall. No lie.

i trapped a spider huge one in the bath with a cup a few weeks ago, this thing must have have grown up near a nuclear plant. when i returned home at night the cup was on its side and the monster was nowhere to be seen. ????????

i know live in constant fear!

[throbber]

When I was in Australia I was walking into our bathroom and a cockroach run right up my Adidas jobby catchers (which I was wearing at the time). I grabbed it when it was about 5 inches south of my Hampton when I stopped it with my hands and then I squashed it as hard as I could and could feel it wriggling about in my hand as it was so strong it didn’t crush easily.

A few weeks later I almost stood on a brown snake at Lake Conjola.

[Hedgecutter]

17 minutes ago, throbber said:

When I was in Australia... 

[throbber]

Brown snakes are the killer snakes in Australia but they aren’t aggressive and will avoid human contact at all costs. The only way they kill people is when people accidentally stand on them and give them a fright, it usually happens in long grass and the person who has been bitten doesn’t feel the bite originally and doesn’t notice until it’s too late.

The spiders there aren’t deadly either, huntsman spiders are the big ones but they’re not poisonous. The red backs are poisonous but it’s not life threatening.

[Herman Hessian]

1 hour ago, ah-dee said:

should have applied a finger to its arse mate

this is Mrs Throbber we're on about here again, no ?

[Shandon Par]

 

32 minutes ago, throbber said:

A few weeks later I almost stood on a brown snake at Lake Conjola.

 

12 minutes ago, throbber said:

Brown snakes are the killer snakes in Australia but they aren’t aggressive and will avoid human contact at all costs. The only way they kill people is when people accidentally stand on them and give them a fright, it usually happens in long grass and the person who has been bitten doesn’t feel the bite originally and doesn’t notice until it’s too late.
 

We could do a crowdfunding effort to send throbber back to Australia. Better luck next time you brown slithery fellas. 

[ah-dee]

this is Mrs Throbber we're on about here again, no ?

what throbber does with his fingers is his business!

[throbber]

[Inanimate Carbon Rod]

Met Princess Anne once.

[Hedgecutter]

31 minutes ago, throbber said:

Brown snakes are the killer snakes in Australia but they aren’t aggressive and will avoid human contact at all costs. The only way they kill people is when people accidentally stand on them and give them a fright, it usually happens in long grass and the person who has been bitten doesn’t feel the bite originally and doesn’t notice until it’s too late.

The spiders there aren’t deadly either, huntsman spiders are the big ones but they’re not poisonous. The red backs are poisonous but it’s not life threatening.

 

Any, regarding snakes, I encountered a Rattlesnake whilst out camping somewhere outside Las Vegas.  Was walking around and just heard it - you knew instantly what it was.  Moved on a bit to avoid it, instead the noise got much, much louder and faster.  Looked around whilst still and saw the thing beside a rock no more than a couple of metres away, looking right at me.  Looking at me as if to say "Come ahead, square go".  So I squared up, casual like, and what does the so-called hard c*** do?  S***es it, turns around and gets the **** out of there.

 

_{*I actually ran away in the opposite direction like a wee girl, but why let the truth spoil a good story.}

[Melanius Mullarkey]

2 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

Any, regarding snakes, I encountered a Rattlesnake whilst out camping somewhere outside Las Vegas.  Was walking around and just heard it - you knew instantly what it was.  Moved on a bit to avoid it, instead the noise got much, much louder and faster.  Looked around whilst still and saw the thing beside a rock no more than a couple of metres away, looking right at me.  Looking at me as if to say "Come ahead, square go".  So I squared up, casual like, and what does the so-called hard c*** do?  S***es it, turns around and gets the **** out of there.

 

_{*I actually ran away in the opposite direction like a wee girl, but why let the truth spoil a good story.}

@KnightswoodBear

[NJ2]

I think you should all be familiar with my magpie story now. It was certainly out to kill something or someone that day.
I was chased by dog in Corfu (I think) when I was young as well. Apparently I was staring at it, well it was staring at me first.

[The Ginger Prince]

Is the alkaseltser (sp) thing a myth?
I fucking hate seagulls and the thought of feeding them alkaseltser and their stomach exploding is appealing! 

I’d get much more joy out of battering one to death tbqhwy.

[throbber]

Bicarbonate of soda and vinegar mixed with bread is supposed to make seagulls guts explode. Never heard alkaseltser being used for it.

[throbber]

 
We could do a crowdfunding effort to send throbber back to Australia. Better luck next time you brown slithery fellas. 

Not the first time you have wished death on me.

[AyrTroopMajor]

33 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Any, regarding snakes, I encountered a Rattlesnake whilst out camping somewhere outside Las Vegas.  Was walking around and just heard it - you knew instantly what it was.  Moved on a bit to avoid it, instead the noise got much, much louder and faster.  Looked around whilst still and saw the thing beside a rock no more than a couple of metres away, looking right at me.  Looking at me as if to say "Come ahead, square go".  So I squared up, casual like, and what does the so-called hard c*** do?  S***es it, turns around and gets the **** out of there.

 

_{*I actually ran away in the opposite direction like a wee girl, but why let the truth spoil a good story.}

It's sad that this comment probably won't get the recognition it deserves.

[SlipperyP]

I live in Australia, so everytime I leave the house some deadly animal is trying to kill me.

I was playing golf in Oz once and ask skills are rather agricultural, I sliced a shot over the barbed wire fence and into the long grass. As a tight Scotsman, I was over the fence and searching for said ball. Big f**k off brown snake was about a metre from me, ripped my golf slacks as I was hurdling the barbed fence. Never played golf in Oz again.