things you arent so proud of

[ah-dee]

That's fuckin rough.

For clarity I mean her pud, not your actions.

i think my actions were justified

[ah-dee]

Can’t decide whether or not to post things on here regarding sexual shenanigans as they straddle the proud/not proud threads. 

get them shared!

[Bairnardo]

Not sure if this really belongs in here as I have always found it funny rather than shameful. Anyway.... On the subject of sexual shenanigans.

A long time ago when I had a bit of a penchant for marching podwer, I was out on a Saturday. I had been out on the Friday night and then all day from opening time on Saturday. Thanks to an assist from the Medellin wonderdust I somehow managed to keep on trucking till late. These lassies came and spoke to me and my mate in Sportsters, then I seen them again in City. By this time my mate was elsewhere so I started getting fired into one of them. To keep it brief, I got her number but she wouldnt come back to mine that night. No probs as I was totally fucked.

Got a bit of pelters on the Sunday with lads saying she was a bit of a hound. I wasnt buying it though. I knew she wasnt a stunner but thought she was ok, so went ahead and arranged her to come to mine on the Wednesday.

Well she came to the door and theres simply no way I managed to hide the shock on my face. She was fucking MASSIVE! I sat there awkwardly all night wondering how I was going to cut this liason short when she stands up and says, "well are we going to bed then? I assume your wanting your hole?"

Obviously I folded instantly and shagged her. Then pretended to sleep. She left in the morning and no contact was ever made again.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

4 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Not sure if this really belongs in here as I have always found it funny rather than shameful. Anyway.... On the subject of sexual shenanigans.

A long time ago when I had a bit of a penchant for marching podwer, I was out on a Saturday. I had been out on the Friday night and then all day from opening time on Saturday. Thanks to an assist from the Medellin wonderdust I somehow managed to keep on trucking till late. These lassies came and spoke to me and my mate in Sportsters, then I seen them again in City. By this time my mate was elsewhere so I started getting fired into one of them. To keep it brief, I got her number but she wouldnt come back to mine that night. No probs as I was totally fucked.

Got a bit of pelters on the Sunday with lads saying she was a bit of a hound. I wasnt buying it though. I knew she wasnt a stunner but thought she was ok, so went ahead and arranged her to come to mine on the Wednesday.

Well she came to the door and theres simply no way I managed to hide the shock on my face. She was fucking MASSIVE! I sat there awkwardly all night wondering how I was going to cut this liason short when she stands up and says, "well are we going to bed then? I assume your wanting your hole?"

Obviously I folded instantly and shagged her. Then pretended to sleep. She left in the morning and no contact was ever made again.

Alls well that ends well.

[ah-dee]

Not sure if this really belongs in here as I have always found it funny rather than shameful. Anyway.... On the subject of sexual shenanigans.

A long time ago when I had a bit of a penchant for marching podwer, I was out on a Saturday. I had been out on the Friday night and then all day from opening time on Saturday. Thanks to an assist from the Medellin wonderdust I somehow managed to keep on trucking till late. These lassies came and spoke to me and my mate in Sportsters, then I seen them again in City. By this time my mate was elsewhere so I started getting fired into one of them. To keep it brief, I got her number but she wouldnt come back to mine that night. No probs as I was totally fucked.

Got a bit of pelters on the Sunday with lads saying she was a bit of a hound. I wasnt buying it though. I knew she wasnt a stunner but thought she was ok, so went ahead and arranged her to come to mine on the Wednesday.

Well she came to the door and theres simply no way I managed to hide the shock on my face. She was fucking MASSIVE! I sat there awkwardly all night wondering how I was going to cut this liason short when she stands up and says, "well are we going to bed then? I assume your wanting your hole?"

Obviously I folded instantly and shagged her. Then pretended to sleep. She left in the morning and no contact was ever made again.

weve all been there mate. sometimes the big bird just has to be pumped!

[Bairnardo]

weve all been there mate. sometimes the big bird just has to be pumped!

Aye. I have pumped worse, but the way it happened left me feeling a tad remorseful after it.

[Quiet Riot]

Happy to report we have a new generation of serial killers coming through.  At the game today and a young lad asks his grandad for a shot of his lighter so he can go and set fire to a bee.

On a personal note I always enjoyed shoving our dog into my schoolbag and throwing it down the stairs. 

[NJ2]

Happy to report we have a new generation of serial killers coming through.  At the game today and a young lad asks his grandad for a shot of his lighter so he can go and set fire to a bee.
On a personal note I always enjoyed shoving our dog into my schoolbag and throwing it down the stairs. 

I’m like solely for the wee lad wanting to set fire to a bee. You chucking your dug down the stair would make even Slippery P sick.

[Dindeleux]

I went back to a fat/ugly girls flat after a night at the Metro.  This wasn't unusual for me as I had no standards.

When we got back to the flat it was absolutely disgusting.  The girl didn't even have a bed, just a crappy wee couch. No carpets and just stuff everywhere (not just empty takeaway boxes but black bags, cardboard boxes etc).  You would think she may have just moved in but it was too messy for that.

Anyway I did the deed (she was quite good to be fair, I still remember that almost 14 years later) and the girl fell asleep.  I stole 40 fags and a 3/4 full bottle of vodka off her and left to get the early bus home.

[Adam]

I went back to a fat/ugly girls flat after a night at the Metro.  This wasn't unusual for me as I had no standards.
When we got back to the flat it was absolutely disgusting.  The girl didn't even have a bed, just a crappy wee couch. No carpets and just stuff everywhere (not just empty takeaway boxes but black bags, cardboard boxes etc).  You would think she may have just moved in but it was too messy for that.
Anyway I did the deed (she was quite good to be fair, I still remember that almost 14 years later) and the girl fell asleep.  I stole 40 fags and a 3/4 full bottle of vodka off her and left to get the early bus home.

Why would you steal from her? That’s proper mink behaviour.

I always end up doing lots of pure shite stuff, constantly believe in my head that women are the most reasonable people on earth and are absolutely fine getting patched, never worked before and probably should learn from my mistakes.

[Dindeleux]

Why would you steal from her? That’s proper mink behaviour.

I always end up doing lots of pure shite stuff, constantly believe in my head that women are the most reasonable people on earth and are absolutely fine getting patched, never worked before and probably should learn from my mistakes.

I was 18 and full of ecstasy tablets mate give me a break.

[Adam]

I was 18 and full of ecstasy tablets mate give me a break.

Aye, fair play!

[Rugster]

For those on here of a certain vintage, the howfer. 

[Dindeleux]

This isn't my story but a few years ago a boy I knew was round at some girls house and shagged her.  Apparently the boy and this girl had a bit of an on/off love/hate relationship.  Not sure if they had been a couple before but they definitely had some kind of past, as the story will show.............

Anyway what the boy did was go into the toilet afterwards/in the morning (details not really important) and video'd himself pishing all over the girls toothbrush.  He then posted this video on facebook** 3 or 4 days later with the post reading something along the lines of "You will all know the wee slag *insert name here*.  She's been giving me some shite abuse for a while but it turns out she's still a slag at heart and I shagged her on Saturday night.  Afterwards I did this" 

Turns out the girl in question has quite a big family with a few dodgy cousins/uncles etc.  The boy had to go into a bit of hiding for a while as threats were dished out.  He's back now so its all calmed down.  

 

 

 

 

 

**Funny how things have changed regarding social media.  I think this must've been around 2012 time.  If the guy did this now the police would be involved but there was no mention of this**

 

[Barry Ferguson's Hat]

Didn't XBL once tell a story where he was on a bus in the US and the driver let a homeless fella on for free, but our dear friend took exception to this, remonstrating to such an extent that the driver felt compelled to make the poor guy get off. 

This in itself is the behavior of an utter welt, but to give the story some context, I'm sure this was during the depths of winter and by the time XBL got his way they were in the middle of no-where. The jakey subsequently froze to death. 

 

I'd like to think this is the ultimate P&B case of doing something you're not proud of, but it probably gives that fanny a stauner just thinking about it. 

[Rugster]

10 minutes ago, Dindeleux said:

This isn't my story but a few years ago a boy I knew was round at some girls house and shagged her.  Apparently the boy and this girl had a bit of an on/off love/hate relationship.  Not sure if they had been a couple before but they definitely had some kind of past, as the story will show.............

Anyway what the boy did was go into the toilet afterwards/in the morning (details not really important) and video'd himself pishing all over the girls toothbrush.  He then posted this video on facebook** 3 or 4 days later with the post reading something along the lines of "You will all know the wee slag *insert name here*.  She's been giving me some shite abuse for a while but it turns out she's still a slag at heart and I shagged her on Saturday night.  Afterwards I did this" 

Turns out the girl in question has quite a big family with a few dodgy cousins/uncles etc.  The boy had to go into a bit of hiding for a while as threats were dished out.  He's back now so its all calmed down.  

 

 

 

 

 

**Funny how things have changed regarding social media.  I think this must've been around 2012 time.  If the guy did this now the police would be involved but there was no mention of this**

 

With every post you make, it becomes clearer and clearer that you, and your mates, are c***s. 

[ah-dee]

I was 18 and full of ecstasy tablets mate give me a break.

i rhink thats a reasonable excuse to get away with murder

[ah-dee]

Didn't XBL once tell a story where he was on a bus in the US and the driver let a homeless fella on for free, but our dear friend took exception to this, remonstrating to such an extent that the driver felt compelled to make the poor guy get off. 
This in itself is the behavior of an utter welt, but to give the story some context, I'm sure this was during the depths of winter and by the time XBL got his way they were in the middle of no-where. The jakey subsequently froze to death. 
 
I'd like to think this is the ultimate P&B case of doing something you're not proud of, but it probably gives that fanny a stauner just thinking about it. 

thats too brutal for even this thread

[Guest Moomintroll]

With every post you make, it becomes clearer and clearer that you, and your mates, are c***s. 

Tbh Ruggy I feel ashamed to be a Killie fan from Kilwinning by osmosis.

[Dindeleux]

6 minutes ago, Rugster said:

With every post you make, it becomes clearer and clearer that you, and your mates, are c***s. 

This isn't my mate to be fair.

Me and my closest mates are c***s.  Well me + 2 mates are.  The other 2 aren't too bad.