Exams

[nsr]

I sat down to do my Standard Grade History exam, finished it, then realised I'd actually answered the wrong section. I had to cobble together what I could in the correct section in the time that remained. Still passed, somehow.

[Shandon Par]

1 hour ago, SweeperDee said:

I’d say my biggest achievement was getting a 2 in standard grade chemistry. Even at the time, I could tell you absolutely f**k all about chemistry. No idea how I managed that.

Scraped a 3 in mine (maths too) as a big chunk of the grade was based on a classroom based assessment. Miraculously my results were miles better  when you could just copy off someone with half a brain.

Two A’s and four B’s in my more arty highers. Found them a piece of piss if I avoided difficult subjects like maths and science. 

[Alert Mongoose]

It took me a while but I eventually mastered the technique of hiding notes behind my sliding calculator. Served me well.

[The Moonster]

17 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

It took me a while but I eventually mastered the technique of hiding notes behind my sliding calculator. Served me well.

Yip. The silly b*****d invigilators let us take pencil cases in too. Mine had some excellent graffiti inside it which looked suspiciously like key formula for a maths exam.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

26 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Scraped a 3 in mine (maths too) as a big chunk of the grade was based on a classroom based assessment. Miraculously my results were miles better  when you could just copy off someone with half a brain.

Two A’s and four B’s in my more arty highers. Found them a piece of piss if I avoided difficult subjects like maths and science. 

6 Highers?

Posh c**t eh?

[RiG]

One of my pals is a teacher and he often has to invigilate students during their exams. I asked if he gets bored standing around for a couple of hours  in silence doing absolutely nothing. He said he didn't really mind it. He gets paid for doing very little and if he does get bored he plays games with the other teachers. One of their favourites is to play "Who is the ugliest student?" where they take it in turns to walk round the exam hall and then hover by the desk of the student they think is the ugliest for a few seconds.

[nsr]

3 minutes ago, RiG said:

One of my pals is a teacher and he often has to invigilate students during their exams. I asked if he gets bored standing around for a couple of hours  in silence doing absolutely nothing. He said he didn't really mind it. He gets paid for doing very little and if he does get bored he plays games with the other teachers. One of their favourites is to play "Who is the ugliest student?" where they take it in turns to walk round the exam hall and then hover by the desk of the student they think is the ugliest for a few seconds.

Is that why the smelly sods always used to hover over my desk?

[Shandon Par]

6 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

6 Highers?

Posh c**t eh?

Took it easy in 5th and 6th year, just doing 3 highers each year. Only just turned 17 by the end of 6th year.

[Shandon Par]

5 minutes ago, RiG said:

One of my pals is a teacher and he often has to invigilate students during their exams. I asked if he gets bored standing around for a couple of hours  in silence doing absolutely nothing. He said he didn't really mind it. He gets paid for doing very little and if he does get bored he plays games with the other teachers. One of their favourites is to play "Who is the ugliest student?" where they take it in turns to walk round the exam hall and then hover by the desk of the student they think is the ugliest for a few seconds.

Think it was Greg Davies who said something similar about standing by the desk of pupils in a couple of tv shows, including "child with the unhappiest home life". 

[Jan Vojáček]

11 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

6 Highers?

Posh c**t eh?

I've got 7 - 5 As, 2 Bs 

7 minutes ago, RiG said:

One of my pals is a teacher and he often has to invigilate students during their exams. I asked if he gets bored standing around for a couple of hours  in silence doing absolutely nothing. He said he didn't really mind it. He gets paid for doing very little and if he does get bored he plays games with the other teachers. One of their favourites is to play "Who is the ugliest student?" where they take it in turns to walk round the exam hall and then hover by the desk of the student they think is the ugliest for a few seconds.

That is fantastic

[Melanius Mullarkey]

6 minutes ago, Sonsteam of 08 said:

I've got 7 - 5 As, 2 Bs 

Smert c**t eh?

[Jan Vojáček]

Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Smert Posh c**t eh?

FTFY

[Bairney The Dinosaur]

Best thing a teacher ever told me was "I'm here to teach you how to pass an exam, I'm not here to teach you Maths". After that I realised I didn't have to understand anything, all I had to do was find a way to memorise things.

I was told the same thing but had the opposite effect, demotivated me and for the last two years of school if I didn’t find something interesting I just didn’t bother learning it. Now at a stage where I’m enjoying learning and, fingers crossed, will be starting a university access course after the summer.

[Jan Vojáček]

1 minute ago, Bairney The Dinosaur said:

I was told the same thing but had the opposite effect, demotivated me and for the last two years of school if I didn’t find something interesting I just didn’t bother learning it. Now at a stage where I’m enjoying learning and, fingers crossed, will be starting a university access course after the summer.

Being a teacher must be a pain having to judge different characters! All the best with getting into Uni, certainly for me it's been about nine million times more engaging and enjoyable than school.

[microdave]

His way of working is stressing out my Mum considerably.

Tbf I think she deserves it after the TNS debacle she caused in your family[emoji6]

[pandarilla]

Think it was Greg Davies who said something similar about standing by the desk of pupils in a couple of tv shows, including "child with the unhappiest home life". 

Most likely to be a hooker...

[Jamaldo]

Only left school with one higher ( a B in History), but that higher got me onto an HND which I worked really hard at - probably too hard - and I got two As and a B in the exams for that. I'd never got an A in my life prior to that. Even though I've never gotten a job with it, it taught me useful stuff with regards to employment rights and contracts which has stood me in good stead.

[pleslie99]

Never studied for my exams, never stressed about them either . Used study leave to work and earn money and left school with 4 higher A's. Yeah I'm a c**t to all those that need to cram studying in.
You'll all be pleased to hear I done f**k all with those grades, dropped out if uni and currently have a well paid job. Exams are for mugs

[banana]

1 hour ago, pleslie99 said:

You'll all be pleased to hear I done f**k all with those grades, dropped out if uni and currently have a well paid job. Exams are for mugs

[Miguel Sanchez]

4th year: I had never had to study for anything in my life and didn't here - got two 1s (English and Computing) and six 2s

5th year: I wanted to die for reasons unrelated to schooling and didn't do a thing. Got a B, a C, two Ds and an F.

6th year: I did subjects I was vaguely good at and got an A (advanced higher) and three Bs.

University: I sat in "Exam guide" lectures laughing at people who even in their fourth year of higher education, when they had ~45 minutes to write an essay on a book, were asking if they should have references to secondary criticism. Of course you fucking shouldn't.

My general advice to anyone would be what got me that single B in 5th year - figure out what you need to know, remember that and nothing else, let whatever personal expansions are necessary to surround it come naturally on the day.

tl;dr - Listen to Moonster