Daydream Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 hours ago, bernardblack said: Anyone done this or care to offer any advice? Don't swear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 hour ago, ShaggysBeard said: I got one huge laugh and the rest an awkward silence. The huge laugh was instructing all the couples in the room to "turn and face your partner...(pause)..stare deeply into each other's eyes..(pause)..." the whole room went silent and then informing them that statistically they are looking at the person most likely murder them and headed straight into wishing the married couple well. Other than that I was hopeless. I did a similar interactive thing. Towards the end I asked everybody to stand and for all the men to raise their hands and hold them in front of them and all the women to do similar but hold their hands together with everybody smiling. (Obviously at the time I showed what hand actions I was wanting) Then took out my phone and took a photo. "Thanks for that - when I put that on Facebook later everybody is going to think I got a standing ovation for my speech" To this day there are still people who think I got a proper standing ovation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Practice, practice, practice. Read your speech out loud over and over, working on your timing and cadence until you're completely comfortable in your ability to deliver it without referring to your notes. The first time I did this, I had no public speaking experience and was absolutely terrified. My notes were simply a blur on the page but I was able to rattle off the whole thing from memory. A couple of anecdotes to embarrass the groom are expected but avoid saying anything too humiliating or revealing stuff which will cause problems later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Done it once, for a mate who already agreed to do mine two months later, so I couldn't really embarrass him too much. Just give a couple of vaguely funny anecdotes about him, exaggerated for comedic effect, don't make fun of the bride, then sit doon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 minute ago, nsr said: don't make fun of the bride See, I think this depends on your relationship with the bride and the majority of the audience. At my first brothers wedding we had been out a couple of months previously (me, my brother and our other halves) and after a fair few drinks some lassie threw a drink in my face for reasons unknown to everyone (I promise you, I hadn't said a word to this lassie or felt her up). Whilst I was standing there questioning why the f**k I was covered in gin and tonic, the bride came leaping through the crowd and landed a haymaker right on this lassie's coupon. After a bit of a rammy we were thrown out the pub and told we were barred. The pub (run by Drew Busby) is one we all frequent quite often, so going in the next night and apologising everything was fine, but in the end we told the story at the wedding and embarrassed the bride a wee bit before we launched our attack on my brother. She took it well and her family and the audience were pissing themselves. I would agree though that if you aren't sure of your audience (or her family) then avoid jokes about the bride. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, The Moonster said: I would agree though that if you aren't sure of your audience (or her family) then avoid jokes about the bride. Slightly O.T. but I was once at a wedding where the Groom was doing his "Thanks to the bridesmaids" bit and finished off with "And just so you know lads, they're all single and desperate." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistledo Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Most importantly, be reasonably inebriated, enough so to calm the nerves and get you feeling confident. Too drunk and you've absolutely fucked it. I'd try to avoid the same tired puns that are so overly used or at least try and avoid using too many of them. You might get the odd chuckle, but no one will remember the speech or think it's anything great. Get a decent, original or semi original joke in early and you're laughing, literally. Try to have it all in your head or at least the main points and improvise the rest. Don't try and come across like you think you are genuinely a stand up comedian or be too loud / lad ish. Small slip ups and mistakes here or there are usually pretty funny. Find a sounding board of people who are not attending the wedding for some of your material if you are worried about anything. Try and follow up funny with nice or balance it out so it's not all jokes. If you smash the speech, might not be the only thing you'll smash that night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppino Impastato Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 hours ago, Shotgun said: Practice, practice, practice. Read your speech out loud over and over, working on your timing and cadence until you're completely comfortable in your ability to deliver it without referring to your notes. The first time I did this, I had no public speaking experience and was absolutely terrified. My notes were simply a blur on the page but I was able to rattle off the whole thing from memory. A couple of anecdotes to embarrass the groom are expected but avoid saying anything too humiliating or revealing stuff which will cause problems later. Cadence eh https://goo.gl/images/q9ULKV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernardblack Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Thanks for the replies so far! Glad to hear 7mins isn't too long and luckily it's before the meal so I can enjoy the food! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Done it once, try to take your time, I kinda rushed it and as soon as I was finished I wished I could go back and do it over again, but better. I had to read cards at the end and changed one to ‘sorry we couldn’t make it to your big day but _____ is 111, the bride questioned it saying she isn’t that age, then I said, sorry she’s not 111, she’s ill’. That went down well so you can imagine how bad my speech was when that was the highlight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMDP Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Done it when I was 18 for my older brother. Was incredibly nervous, barely touched my meal. Thankfully went really well, the video still gets brought out by family every couple of years and my nerves are obvious. Like others said, be nice about the bride, mention how beautiful she is and how great a couple they are, bit of light piss taking about the groom. You'll know your audience, so will know how far to push it, I had one risky joke that I didn't know whether to put in or not but went down brilliantly. Seven minutes is plenty, try to enjoy it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dysartrovers Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I've done it 3 times now and hardly remember a thing about any of them. Horrible thing to ask someone to do. I hate public speaking and was tempted to do a Bob Dylan with the big cards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willie adie Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 i started with the classic line " the worst thing about being best man at a wedding is, you never get a chance to prove it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountyFan Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I second the rhyming thing, it went down well when I did it. Other tips - run it past someone who also knows the couple first, they'll tell you if your jokes are on point or too far - I pulled one based on that pre-game feedback and when I recited it to the groom later he was glad I'd omitted it! It's honestly not that bad though. People are cheering before you've even stood up (assuming you'e reasonably popular and reasonably well known to a lot of the guests) and they all want you to do well. My cousin married an endoscopy nurse so I had a zinger about her being used to looking after tubes. I know, I'm fucking hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernardblack Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Thanks again everyone! Pretty sure it's in my head but have cue cards just incase! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I think every wedding I've been at the speeches are done before the food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northboy Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I've done one best man's speech and something very similar. It's not my comfort zone but the best advice I can give is to make sure you are fully prepared and know exactly what you are going to say. You need to at least look at what you're doing. Also remember that you will have a very mixed audience - young children, elderly relatives, drunken mates etc. Your speech needs to reflect this as what is amusing or entertaining to some might be the complete opposite to others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pleslie99 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Make sure you mention plenty about his ex girlfriends and endeavours. That will go down a storm........trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Think there was a thread about this on here before, must’ve been binned during the Upgrade/Wasteland days.Anyway, when one of my mates got married, pretty much everyone knew they were going to Italy on their honeymoon...Another mate was best man and had a third mate as his stooge. To end the speech the best man asked everyone to raise their glasses and wish the married couple a lifetime of happiness and an amazing honeymoon in Wales... Stooge pipes up: “They’re going to Italy, not Wales!” Best man to groom: “You telt me you were going to Bangor for a week!” Everyone pissing themselves laughing except the brides father who looked pretty raging! [emoji1] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 See also Cockermouth jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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