Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 49 minutes ago, Stellaboz said: The planet won't. Flush those fuckers away and eat them again with the fish you want to munch. Great idea. c***s. Nothing can be created or destroyed, all things came from the earth and so they must be returned. Apart from shitty wet wipes. I think we need to adopt the European stance of bidets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Apart from shitty wet wipes. I think we need to adopt the European stance of bidets. As advocated by myself early on in the thread tbf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 If we weren’t such disgusting b*****ds (see Stellaboz and Scary Bear) that have decided wiping with dry paper only is suitable, and had adopted bidets then we wouldn’t need wet wipes either. I am still a little bit unsure how you use a bidet, particularly in drying your arse as surely there isn’t some sort of shared towel, but they are clearly the correct way to go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I'm Brian Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 I was a convert to the wet wipe method of shit removal a couple of years ago when I started going out and about on the road. Most of the publicly available toilets tend to have bog roll that tends to spread shite all over your crack rather than remove it. Most of the campsites I've ever stayed at tend not to spend a lot on bog roll either so they are a fucking god send, and fit easily into your pocket Since then they have been an integral part of my life. Everyone needs to try it...your life will be transformed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 My stool is immaculate and leaves little to no residue waste. Maybe if you all improved your diet you'd stop killing the ocean. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 20 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said: If we weren’t such disgusting b*****ds (see Stellaboz and Scary Bear) that have decided wiping with dry paper only is suitable, and had adopted bidets then we wouldn’t need wet wipes either. I am still a little bit unsure how you use a bidet, particularly in drying your arse as surely there isn’t some sort of shared towel, but they are clearly the correct way to go. Again, like I said before... If you got human shit on any other part of your person, would a quik wipe with dry paper suffice? No, would it f**k. You would ridicule the suggester of this as a manky hoor 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 5 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Again, like I said before... If you got human shit on any other part of your person, would a quik wipe with dry paper suffice? No, would it f**k. You would ridicule the suggester of this as a manky hoor Yet Scary Bear and Stella seem to revel in stinking like shite. It’s a crazy (and disgusting) world we live in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 I’m completely natural. I don’t care about having a hairy, shite smeared arse. It’s been done this way for millenniums.Signed- Smelly Craig,Coatbridge, Single. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 Bairnardo's definitely worked cleanup on the set of a few German scheisse videos in his time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 15 minutes ago, Brother Blades said: Signed- Smelly Craig, Coatbridge, Single. PM me *** x 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 27 minutes ago, Brother Blades said: I’m completely natural. I don’t care about having a hairy, shite smeared arse. It’s been done this way for millenniums. Signed- Smelly Craig, Coatbridge, Single. The civilised world uses water and the left hand. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 You're all doing it wrong. Sea shells is the way forward.At least have the decency to hide behind a rock or a sand dune next time though. Pervert. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Apart from shitty wet wipes. I think we need to adopt the European stance of bidets. I'm going to my in laws place in Spain at the end of the month. There is bidets in all the bathrooms. I've been there loads of times and I've never plucked up the courage to use one. I'll be 40 in a couple of weeks and I've not got the first idea of how you use one. I'd look for instructional videos online but I'm scared I'd be reported to the police. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 41 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Bairnardo's definitely worked cleanup on the set of a few German scheisse videos in his time. You turn just about every topic into some sort of deviancy related thing. I think you need to seek help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 All of you shiny-hooped wet wipe fanatics best start disposing of them properly unless you’re happy to run the stinky brown gauntlet of being out your house for a minimum of 6 months, hoping the insurance pays out and that you won’t be having to spend a small fortune refurbishing the place, all because you went for a posh jobby. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 Again, like I said before... If you got human shit on any other part of your person, would a quik wipe with dry paper suffice? No, would it f**k. You would ridicule the suggester of this as a manky hoorArses are literally not other parts of the body though. They are the open crevices where your shite meets the outside world. I'm absolutely astounded (not to mention a little disappointed) by the lack of anal sex references on this thread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 I like serving an ace when you feel like you've done your bit for the environment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 1 hour ago, KnightswoodBear said: I'm going to my in laws place in Spain at the end of the month. There is bidets in all the bathrooms. I've been there loads of times and I've never plucked up the courage to use one. I'll be 40 in a couple of weeks and I've not got the first idea of how you use one. I'd look for instructional videos online but I'm scared I'd be reported to the police. Now the lighter nights are coming in, get into the garden and get some practice with a hose. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 Arses are literally not other parts of the body though. They are the open crevices where your shite meets the outside world. I'm absolutely astounded (not to mention a little disappointed) by the lack of anal sex references on this thread.This isn’t an inny thread. It’s an outy thread. Stop being a vulgar, disgusting pervert. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 (edited) I can't say I've ever used a bidet before either. Similarly, I could never bring myself to squat over those hole-in-the-floor conveniences that our continental friends occasionally employ. Here's a how-to for @KnightswoodBear. I notice it starts with the helpful advice to "use the toilet first". https://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Bidet Edit: "If you can't find soap, use whatever's available" Edited March 19, 2019 by BigFatTabbyDave 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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