Bus wankers

[Hedgecutter]

43 minutes ago, Taxman said:

First Bus drivers are the biggest c***s of the lot, absolutely no idea how to use the brakes/handbrake, totally unable to stop at the bus stop rather than 10ft past it & generally are just c***s anyway.

Not just Aberdeen then.

In contrast and in general, I've found Stagecoach drivers to be sound c***s, but then again,  I suppose they're not dealing with traffic lights every 20 secs during their day job.  

[pub car king]

c***s that jump the line should be bludgeoned to death by everyone else patiently waiting in line.

[DA Baracus]

Buses that ask for exact change.

National Express in Dundee do this. I avoid them at all costs. Strangely the Stagecoach buses here actually have conductors who take your payment, not the driver, which was something I hadn't seen since I was a kid. This is good as not only do they give change, but I often get away with having to pay as I must blend in easy/look hard as f**k (delete as appropriate).

[MEADOWXI]

A bus stop takes up half the pavement, but rather than stand in the bus stop the Twatcunts that stand at shop window behind bus stop this completely blocking the pavement for pedestrians trying to get passed. Wish these c***s were on buses rather than waiting for them.

[Dindeleux]

Folk who drink and subsequently spill juice* on the bus resulting in a tidal effect each time the bus brakes or accelerates. 

 

*By juice I am referring to fresh juice, fizzy juice, ginger, water and anything else that is a liquid you can drink.

[Venti]

I get the very earliest bus up to Glasgow & everyone is still half asleep, but you can bet your arse there's always two folk having a loud conversation.

Just die already.

[Shandon Par]

9 minutes ago, Dindeleux said:

Folk who drink and subsequently spill juice* on the bus resulting in a tidal effect each time the bus brakes or accelerates. 

 

*By juice I am referring to fresh juice, fizzy juice, ginger, water and anything else that is a liquid you can drink.

What about c@nts that spew on the bus, causing a tidal wave of puke to slosh about ? 

 

[Dindeleux]

45 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

What about c@nts that spew on the bus, causing a tidal wave of puke to slosh about ? 

 

Thats just sexy.

[ICTChris]

Here's a real bus w****r

 

[Torpar]

3 hours ago, philpy said:

Tourists, who have no idea how a queue works, and try and push in before people waiting on the queue get on.

 

2 hours ago, pub car king said:

c***s that jump the line should be bludgeoned to death by everyone else patiently waiting in line.

This is the standard method for getting on public transport in Toronto, I actually don't mind it, when it's -30 degrees I have not time for all this "no please, after you" pish

[IainMorton]

When I get the bus to work in the morning it’s usually the same people on the bus, and two other folk get off (the bus...) at the same stop as me. The other day I was sitting next to one of these people and despite him knowing that I was going to be getting off (the bus...) at the same time as him, he insisted that I stood up to let him past as soon as the bus pulled away from the stop before rather than waiting till it was nearer our stop, which meant I had to stand for longer than I would have liked.

Edited January 31, 2018 by IainMorton

[nsr]

I used to partake of the services of Lothian buses while I was at Uni in our fair capital. Personal highlight was the seriously dishevelled old jaikie who told me I had lovely shiny white teeth and asked if I wanted to come back to his place. After I refused his advances, he proceeded to offer a Swiss army knife to a young mother and child. I think the mum pocketed it, probably planning to sell it later.

[supermik]

Old women with bus passes who go to afternoon bingo sessions. They invariably get the bus home at the same time as workers heading home. They seem to think that they have a god given right to a seat although they have not paid for the bus fare and they have been sat on their arses all afternoon wheras folk who have been grafting all day are expected to stand. They can stick their bingo dibbers up their fud!

[coprolite]

9 hours ago, JakeSAFC said:

The wee old women who decide to have a chat with the driver while getting their ticket.

Get on the bus and sit doon you old boot.

Probably the only human contact they will have that day you heartless b*****d.

 

apart from 20 mins yapping at the till in Aldi. And half an hour in the post office bemoaning the price of stamps.  

[Unleash The Nade]

Idiots who try and stop the bus using unconventional methods 

 

[Sergeant Wilson]

4 minutes ago, Unleash The Nade said:

Idiots who try and stop the bus using unconventional methods 

 

It's effective.

[microdave]

C**TS who bring chippy's onto buses, thank god i don't us them anymore

A few years ago, a guy with a bag of chips sat down next to me on my way home from work. I was playing music through my earphones and reading p&b, minding my own business. He gave me a wee nudge and the conversation went like this
Guy "Want a chip mate?"
Me (after removing earphones) "No you're alright thanks"
I replaced the earphones before getting another nudge about a minute later.
Guy "Where did you get your glasses?"
Me "Eh, Specsavers"
Guy "Do they do Spider-Man ones?"
Me "..."
Me "No idea, I'm forty. Why don't you go in and find out?"
Guy "Good idea. Cheers for your help"

The strangest conversation I think I've ever had.

[Bert Raccoon]

4 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

What about c@nts that spew on the bus, causing a tidal wave of puke to slosh about ? 

 

Shamefully this was actually me once, I was heading back on the 3.30am bus back to Hamilton from Glasgow and whilst sitting up the back of the bus I took rather unwell and started to heave, I did attempt to catch it all in a jumper I had in my bag but it didn't really work so a flood of vomit cascaded down the bus, I feel bad now but it was quite funny watching everyone sit with their legs dangling off the chairs avoiding the spew.

In my defence I was young and had drank a lot of Strongbow, I'm a wiser man now.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, microdave said:

A few years ago, a guy with a bag of chips sat down next to me on my way home from work. I was playing music through my earphones and reading p&b, minding my own business. He gave me a wee nudge and the conversation went like this
Guy "Want a chip mate?"
Me (after removing earphones) "No you're alright thanks"
I replaced the earphones before getting another nudge about a minute later.
Guy "Where did you get your glasses?"
Me "Eh, Specsavers"
Guy "Do they do Spider-Man ones?"
Me "..."
Me "No idea, I'm forty. Why don't you go in and find out?"
Guy "Good idea. Cheers for your help"

The strangest conversation I think I've ever had.

I like him. Not so sure about you though.

[Honest Saints Fan]

I fucking hate buses. When I worked at Asda in Toryglen Ruggy was always too pished too pick me up at nights so had to get the bus home. It was always late. Always full of jaikies getting off at the Circus. Feared for my life every time I had to use it.

Oh and Glasgow buses are shite for no giving out change. #perthshire Stagecoach will give you change from a £20 note. 

I'l nominte Stirling bus station as one of the biggest shitholes in Scotland.