throbber Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Are you sure that usually is placed correctly here? My judgement this morning isn’t the best, I was out for an Indian and drinks last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 1 hour ago, Bold Rover said: What, you hang it up in your wardrobe? It would be like a very sinister Blue Peter advent crown decoration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 One a day usually, although I recently went nearly a week without one. Absolute shoebox special produced after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 I always usually went after my morning coffee but right now I seem to be going when I get in from work. It’s usually a fairly solid one wiper but if I’ve been drinking it can be a bit of a lottery. PARKLIFE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 It could be worse, it could be 15 minutes before you wake. It will one day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Chrome legs with a black seat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budmiester1 Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Haven’t had a decent dump in the last 3 and a bit years, possibly due to the fact that I’m missing half my frigging colon due to the c word [emoji23] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 14 minutes ago, budmiester1 said: Haven’t had a decent dump in the last 3 and a bit years, possibly due to the fact that I’m missing half my frigging colon due to the c word Aye, a Carling addiction is a bitch, with you brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 Morning after cider shites are horrible. Thankfully it's a thing of the past for me but the memory of them... Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Used to be a 4 a day man. Reduced to 3 now Im getting on a bit. All solid and out in 30 secs. I like to take longer; I like the idea of getting peace to read a book Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: 4 a fucking day? Reading this, I'm beginning to realise this may not be normal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 12 minutes ago, whiskychimp said: Reading this, I'm beginning to realise this may not be normal Seek medical help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 50 minutes ago, whiskychimp said: Used to be a 4 a day man. Reduced to 3 now Im getting on a bit. All solid and out in 30 secs. I like to take longer; I like the idea of getting peace to read a book That's living beyond your means, unless you're a rabbit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 59 minutes ago, whiskychimp said: Used to be a 4 a day man. Reduced to 3 now Im getting on a bit. All solid and out in 30 secs. I like to take longer; I like the idea of getting peace to read a book Try sitting for two minutes and just go once Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 15 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Taking longer than the time taken by your body to expel the shite and then to clean up afterwards is fucking beastly. Suspect a few could out themselves here.... In, shite done, away. The only thing that can be forgiven is a slightly more leisurely pace at home compared to work, but taking ages on the pan is putrid behaviour. I’ll sit until the pins and needles start Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 2 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Taking longer than the time taken by your body to expel the shite and then to clean up afterwards is fucking beastly. Suspect a few could out themselves here.... In, shite done, away. The only thing that can be forgiven is a slightly more leisurely pace at home compared to work, but taking ages on the pan is putrid behaviour. Utter nonsense, especially the bottom bit. I’ll take my time even more so at work, and be paid to take a leisurely shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Also, another shite related question that will hopefully out some beasts/manky b*****ds. I remember on The Jonathan Ross Show years ago, he had called someone out for being weird when they’d said after they wipe their arse they have a look at the paper to make sure their arse is clean. I think not doing that and essentially just hoping that you’ve cleaned your arse is utterly disgusting beast behaviour. Essentially pot luck that you don’t still have shite to be cleaned. Thoughts of P&B? Another one, does anyone use wet toilet wipes? They are absolutely phenomenal, and leave you properly clean. The western world are way behind on this and these should become standard instead of dry toilet paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Also, another shite related question that will hopefully out some beasts/manky b*****ds. I remember on The Jonathan Ross Show years ago, he had called someone out for being weird when they’d said after they wipe their arse they have a look at the paper to make sure their arse is clean. I think not doing that and essentially just hoping that you’ve cleaned your arse is utterly disgusting beast behaviour. Essentially pot luck that you don’t still have shite to be cleaned. Thoughts of P&B? Another one, does anyone use wet toilet wipes? They are absolutely phenomenal, and leave you properly clean. The western world are way behind on this and these should become standard instead of dry toilet paper. Wet wipes don’t flush properly and will clog up the drainage system. The amount of hassle this causes to Scottish Water is remarkable, wet wipes, tampons etc just flushed down the toilet by people who don’t give a f**k about the consequences of their actions. So I don’t particularly want shitty wet wipes anywhere in my house even if it’s in the toilet bin thank you very much.I always check the damage after I have wiped, you usually have a good idea what to expect though so I don’t particularly blame people who don’t always look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 I had Mexican food on Thursday there. The resulting shite I can only describe as being like a colony of hot bats fleeing their cave at high velocity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Wet wipes don’t flush properly and will clog up the drainage system. The amount of hassle this causes to Scottish Water is remarkable, wet wipes, tampons etc just flushed down the toilet by people who don’t give a f**k about the consequences of their actions. So I don’t particularly want shitty wet wipes anywhere in my house even if it’s in the toilet bin thank you very much.I always check the damage after I have wiped, you usually have a good idea what to expect though so I don’t particularly blame people who don’t always look. Some people actually flush disposable nappies down the toilet. That is bonkers!However, not sure a wet wipe, used after normal toilet paper to freshen the anus & ensure a skiddy free pair of undercrackers is much of a sin? Remember, those of a certain age will have used baking parchment to wipe their arse, I’m sure that’s less destructible than a wet wipe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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