RandomAttempt at surviving a season

[RandomGuy.]

Called the players in during the Winter break to motivate them for the upcoming crunch games. Blasted them with a speech about all the hings av seen, and all the hings av done. When I left they all sat silent and wide mouthed, clearly in awe of me, and with a new found respect for their manager which will inspire them to get those seven points.

Spoiler

 

[RandomGuy.]

January Window

Liam Gordon, Kyle McLean and Craig Thomson were all shipped out on loan, as they'd all started mewling about no game time and were disrupting the squad. Michael O'Halloran returned to Rangers, and I melted Denny Johnstone for glue.

Early season poor start was fixed by signing a striker, so using that logic I thought I could make things doubly better by signing two.

Rakish Bingham was signed for £10k. Odd signing, perhaps, but I like his attributes. Worth a gamble.

 

Second up was Lewis Vaughan, £120k but can play rakes of positions, and was in form. In form strikers = in form team.

[RandomGuy.]

January

Need to get 7 points from 5 games. Three games in and I've amassed four, comes down to the final two games, Hearts (A) then Hamilton at McDiarmid (Bingham scoring against his old team is surely guaranteed?)

Dont ask what happened against Alloa, I've no idea

Tight as f**k, Dundee seem doomed though.

[RandomGuy.]

Sacked, unsurprisingly. I'll continue bravely on to a new club, like a curse.

 

Stuart McCall has replaced me.

 

Rangers have sacked their random manager and replaced him with Derek McInnes, and in turn Aberdeen have replace McInnes with Barry Robson.

 

 

 

 

[RandomGuy.]

Chapter Two: The Macaroni Massacre

My next victim has been chosen..

 

 

 

Franchise FC

This is how they got on last season...

So, can only drop them down two spots. I'll post the squad later, as about five have agreed to move already.

Heres the Betfred Cup Group I've been handed..

Looks promising enough, for a complete clusterfuck.

[RandomGuy.]

English clubs are going absolutely nuts over this guy, currently got two offers accepted of £400k up front with 50% of the next sale. Still six teams interested who haven't bid yet.

[RandomGuy.]

Livingston Squad

Goalkeepers

Jamieson was signed on a free transfer, the other two were already here. Alexander is retiring at the end of the season and is regressing horribly, so Jamieson is number one.

Defenders

Sesay, Barbour and Marr were deals agreed by the previous manager, Martin was signed by me. Literally just realised I only have one left back, which is bad. You can guess my back four. I'll be looking to improve on it as we go, a right back the priority, as Sesay isnt realistic as a permanent transfer.

Midfielders

Harper, Lee, Thomas all free transfer signings, rest were here. Gone with a flat four and Knox as an AM. Ideally I'd punt White but (I think) he can play left back, which is probably why I've kept him, my memories fucking shite. Knox is class though, which is all that matters, doubt I can keep him, that baldy f**k Alex Neil has been at matches stalking him, doubt I'll hold off Preston if they want him.

Strikers

Only start with one. That one is Mullen. Like Mackin who comes on late on regardless of the result to provide a more physical option. Carrick seems pretty clinical but spends his life injured. Coaches hate Peters but he seems like a very decent fourth option in my eyes. 

[RandomGuy.]

Betfred Cup Group Stage

Got wins, but it wasn't great. My strikers aren't scoring at all, and Carrick got injured after his goals and is missing for a month. We struggled to beat Stranraer and Albion Rovers. Hamilton just outclassed us, Greg Docherty ran the show and I couldn't get anyone near him.

Qualify as one of the best Runners Up, so not too unhappy.

We've been drawn away to Hibernian in the next round, so it'll be a tough task to get through that.

[RandomGuy.]

August

Starting to think the issue with a lack of goals is due to me, and not shite strikers, but then I remember Danny Rose..

Not actually a bad month tbh

Mid-table, solid enough start as I get used to this level

[Kyle]

Slaying Dumbarton - who are ridiculously OP in this game - is some feat. Especially away from home. You seem to be hellishly unlucky when it comes to this game but your threads are always top notch.

[RandomGuy.]

6 hours ago, Kyle said:

Slaying Dumbarton - who are ridiculously OP in this game - is some feat. Especially away from home. You seem to be hellishly unlucky when it comes to this game but your threads are always top notch.

They had about thirty shots on target and didn't score, then I scored my only one. Somewhere, an AI Steve Aitken is screaming.

[RandomGuy.]

September

Just. Cannot. Score. 

Trying everything, probably find I'm changing things too much, but its not improving. Will go back to the very very basics next month, if that doesn't work then 4-4-2 will return, even if I only have one striker fit.

No idea how United are down there, they have Andrew Shinnie feeding James Keatings.

[Poet of the Macabre]

Always a great read. I don't know if it would be the same if you were successful though.

[RandomGuy.]

October 18/19

Might not look like it, but we're improving. Went far too open against Dundee in the hope of goals, backfired beautifully. Were well worth a 2-2 draw with Falkirk, settled for the point in the 89th minute taking off a striker for a DM, only for the referee to add on nine minutes from absolutely nowhere, which combined with my now defensive set up led to Falkirk battering me and nabbing a late goal. Absolutely seething. We battered Dumbarton and only a wonder save denied us, controlled the match. Positive signs, for me at least, think I'm about 90 games without a win though, not sure I've scored in consecutive games this season either.

Winters grow longer, technology advances and the Sun turns slower. Everything changes, but United remain shite.

[Kyle]

Our very own Davie Moyes. I think you'll turn this around though. 

[RandomGuy.]

Our very own Davie Moyes. I think you'll turn this around though. 

 

Buleev!

 

I likely won't turn it around, I'm fucking useless unless I've got a 30 goal striker to dig me out a hole. All I've got is Danny Mullen and Dale Carrick, surely they won't be clinical...

 

[RandomGuy.]

November 18/19

GOALS! MOAR GOALS!

Absolutely cunted Ayr, then lost my starting right back, centre back, right winger and central midfielder in a week. ICT have Ryan Hardie and Jack Aitchinson up front so will always score. United scored a late 30 yarder then got another as we chased an equaliser. Still think we're doing well, but results just aren't there. Need to try and add quality in January, Knox is likely to leave so hopefully I get the money this time, the £400k I received in the Summer was used entirely on paying off debts so I never got a penny.

Settling in for a lovely 11th placed finish, tbh. Probably keep me in a job until we lose the Play-Offs.

[RandomGuy.]

December 18/19

Decent month. Andrew Thomson was given a chance on the left due to Cadden getting a virtually season ending injury. Peters, my fifth choice striker, got a chance as Mullen and Mackin are both out for the rest of the season, Carrick had been horrendous, and the other striker is pretty shite too. Safe to say its paid off. Only losing narrowly, which is frustrating, but I've got the worst squad going so can't be too disheartened. That fucking freak boy Graham Cummins scored Dundees only shot on target against me, typically, he also missed three one on ones. I laugh heartily through the tears.

Last season 11th got 29 points, and 12th was 28. So 30-35 has to be a target, sort of on course for that, but I'll be losing my best player in January by the looks of things, so we'll have that obstacle to overcome. Dundee United have, finally, got a new manager in the shape of Steve Aitken, and made an instant impact, only one loss in his five games in charge. Positives are that Dumbarton, who hired Yogi Hughes to replace Aitken, and Ayr are hitting a rough run of form, so I'll hopefully keep gaining ground on them.

In other news Dundee have hired Barry Smith.

[RandomGuy.]

January Transfers 

Andy Rinomhota was the only AM I could sign who wasn't a fucking huddy. On loan from Reading, no wages required. Signed because I have no alternative to Knox, and if/when Knox left during the window, I wouldn't be scrambling for someone in that position.

Deadline Day Deals

Scott Martin was brought in from Hibs, on loan. Only have three CMs, and two are pretty immobile playmakers. Martin gives us depth, and a different option when needed.

 

Glen McAuley was brought in from Liverpool. Might seem harsh on Carrick and Peters, but I've just never been convinced by them. Hoping this lad can step up.

 

There were no outgoings, had two offers from Knox from some English team and Hibs, neither went over £20k initially, or over £150k all in, so both were chucked out. Hes handed in a transfer request but hasn't thrown a hissy fit, so he will still play a part. His contract expires at the end of next season though, so I'll be accepting offers in the Summer. Jason Marr signed a PCA with Raith.

Happy I added depth and quality tbh, hopefully be enough for the final push.

[RandomGuy.]

January 18/19

Getting four points off Dumbarton and Ayr was huge. Other games were a bit frustrating. Strikers were an issue, again, which explains my January business.

Tighter than a tight thing. Might seem odd but I'm tempted to discount United from relegation now, they've been superb under Aitken. Feels like its between me and Ayr for 10th.