c***s on the road

[Newbornbairn]

I've said it before but one of the simple pleasures to be had in driving is brake testing someone tailgating you. Seeing the look of panic as they shit themselves then the impotent rage as they turn bright red helps me get through the day. 

 

The sad thing is the advent of electric brakes means you can't use the handbrake to really put the shits up them (no brake light warning)

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

17 minutes ago, jamamafegan said:

Why is that lorry drivers often flash their lights? Sometimes they do it to say hi to a fellow trucker but loads of times I’ve seen them doing it when either I or somebody else overtakes them and pulls back into the other lane. Then they flash their lights at you? Wtf is that all about.

I always took it that there meaning it's safe to pull in. Drive alot of big Van's and trailers etc and always just took it as them signaling that I'm past them.

[Jacksgranda]

18 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said:

I've said it before but one of the simple pleasures to be had in driving is brake testing someone tailgating you. Seeing the look of panic as they shit themselves then the impotent rage as they turn bright red helps me get through the day. 

 

The sad thing is the advent of electric brakes means you can't use the handbrake to really put the shits up them (no brake light warning)

Switch on your sidelights while accelerating.

[thistledo]

13 hours ago, coprolite said:

One of my favourite pastimes on a long motorway journey is to time a nice slow overtake, preferably a double truck deal at exactly 70, for when i see a German car closing the distance in the right hand mirror way too fast. 

I've shared enough lifts with beamer driving colleagues to know that the level of seethe in the cockpit behind more than justifies any risk. 

I like to remember what my driving instructor told me about being able to see the whole front of the overtaken vehicle before pulling back in. Sometimes you can see them raging and shouting. I like that. 

This is particularly good fun if it's an artic lorry or truck, you courteously leave good few cars lengths before pulling in, in front of said lorry and the asshole decides to try and undertake you. If you can time it perfectly to indicate and start to move as they decide to undertake it's a wee bonus. 

It's all good fun, until some duffer decides to overtake a lorry at 1mph quicker than the lorry that's only doing 50mph on the motorway then it's hell on earth and they do not deserve a license. 

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

4 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

 

It's this. I don't really feel like it's much comfort because it tells me they're driving on autopilot to the extent that they're doing it to cars who don't need it compared to lorries who do.

It must be hard for them, what with pishing in juice bottles to throw into central reservations and throttling and disposing of prostitutes. 

[Jacksgranda]

Crossroads in the village (again). I'm sitting there indicating right (and my indicators are working). Woman opposite appears to be going straight across, so obviously I'll give her priority. Bin lorry approaches from my left, indicating left and turns left. Woman opposite now decides she wants to go right as well. I pull out and she starts waving her hands about. I respond with a volley of foul mouthed abuse which if she can lip read will make her ears red.

Edited November 27, 2020 by Jacksgranda
Sleppnig

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

On 12/11/2020 at 12:31, Jacksgranda said:

Switch on your sidelights while accelerating.

You can still have your foot on the noisy pedal and do a brake tap at the same time.

[microdave]

You can still have your foot on the noisy pedal and do a brake tap at the same time.

That makes the car take a screenshot.

[jimmy boo]

Some horrific and dangerous driving being admitted to here in the name of teaching others a lesson. If you're holding someone up just pull in. Its not your job to police the roads.

[alta-pete]

^^^ this. If you’re not in a hurry, why deliberately obstruct someone who clearly is? 
 

If they’re being that much of a dick you can toot your horn as you pass them on the hard shoulder after the rozzers have taken issue with their driving. 
 

Related, got this in my WhatsApp this week. apologies for the poor resolution but I reckon you already know which one is you. (I used to have an A5 btw ). 
 

[Cosmic Joe]

1 hour ago, jimmy boo said:

Some horrific and dangerous driving being admitted to here in the name of teaching others a lesson. If you're holding someone up just pull in. Its not your job to police the roads.

It's not the individual on the receiving end of tail-gating that is to blame. The tail-gaters should keep a safe distance behind the car ahead who is, more often than not, driving at the national speed limit. 

[Venti]

1 hour ago, alta-pete said:

^^^ this. If you’re not in a hurry, why deliberately obstruct someone who clearly is? 
 

If they’re being that much of a dick you can toot your horn as you pass them on the hard shoulder after the rozzers have taken issue with their driving. 
 

Related, got this in my WhatsApp this week. apologies for the poor resolution but I reckon you already know which one is you. (I used to have an A5 btw ). 
 

Colours on that have me tripping AF & I've not even gotten in a motor yet.

[D.A.F.C]

Overtook a golf last night as they were behind a bus and waited too long.
Next thing they speed up behind me beeping the horn and flashing lights.

First road rage I've had in years. Just didn't react to it and then saw them drive right up the arse of someone else.

It was weird they went from Sunday driver to nigel Mansel within seconds.

[IrishBhoy]

1 hour ago, alta-pete said:

^^^ this. If you’re not in a hurry, why deliberately obstruct someone who clearly is? 
 

If they’re being that much of a dick you can toot your horn as you pass them on the hard shoulder after the rozzers have taken issue with their driving. 
 

Related, got this in my WhatsApp this week. apologies for the poor resolution but I reckon you already know which one is you. (I used to have an A5 btw ). 
 

That picture is so accurate as to how people react to seeing a police car on the motorway. It doesn’t even need to be a patrol car, I’ve seen people in the outside lane slow down and refuse to overtake the Police dog handlers van. 
 

There’s a part of the M8 in front of Glasgow Airport where 2 lanes become 3, and almost nobody who has previously been travelling on the inside of the 2 lanes will pull into the left hand lane when they reach the 3 lane motorway, which can be some sight to watch 10 cars in a row all travelling in the middle lane absolutely clueless as to how a motorway is supposed to work. The reason I mention this is because the police regularly do this too, sitting in the middle lane at around 55mph with everyone who had previously been on the outside lane too scared to pass and obviously no one undertaking. I have slowly passed them at this exact bit sitting bang on 60mph (the speed limit for that section), and was actually praying for them to pull me over so I could ask them why they were sitting in the middle lane of a motorway when they weren’t overtaking anyone and weren’t about to overtake anyone. They would probably have turned my car upside down so they could try and find something worth 3 points and a fine but I think it would be worth it. 

Edited November 27, 2020 by IrishBhoy

[IrishBhoy]

1 minute ago, D.A.F.C said:

Overtook a golf last night as they were behind a bus and waited too long.
Next thing they speed up behind me beeping the horn and flashing lights.

First road rage I've had in years. Just didn't react to it and then saw them drive right up the arse of someone else.

It was weird they went from Sunday driver to nigel Mansel within seconds.

A good thing to do when sitting on a congested motorway with someone right on your bumper is to pull in to the middle lane and let them pass, then pull back out behind them and drive even closer than they were, as they sit a full one car further forward than where they would have been. Genuinely can’t understand people who think that when the motorway is moderately busy they can still fly down the outside lane and everyone has to flock to get out their way, everyone is in the same position. 

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, alta-pete said:

^^^ this. If you’re not in a hurry, why deliberately obstruct someone who clearly is? 
 

Do you find tailgateing people gets you where you're going any faster?

[alta-pete]

1 minute ago, welshbairn said:

Do you find tailgateing people gets you where you're going any faster?

Where did I say I tailgated anybody?

What I actually said was those that think they are being clever by deliberately inducing seethe were the real c***s. Sorry if that bursts your inner narrative. 

[TheScarf]

2 hours ago, jimmy boo said:

Some horrific and dangerous driving being admitted to here in the name of teaching others a lesson. If you're holding someone up just pull in. Its not your job to police the roads.

Agreed. If I want to drive at 80 on a dual carriageway then I will. It's on me if I get caught speeding. 

Staying in the outside lane and not letting folk past is cunt behaviour. 

[welshbairn]

19 minutes ago, alta-pete said:

Where did I say I tailgated anybody?

What I actually said was those that think they are being clever by deliberately inducing seethe were the real c***s. Sorry if that bursts your inner narrative. 

I assumed that's the only reason someone would flash their brake lights. If someone's behind me and there's somewhere to pull in, I will. If there's not I'm not going to go faster just because they're in a hurry and being an arsehole.

Edited November 27, 2020 by welshbairn

[jimmy boo]

It's not the individual on the receiving end of tail-gating that is to blame. The tail-gaters should keep a safe distance behind the car ahead who is, more often than not, driving at the national speed limit. 

The holier than thou who think its ok to sit smuggly in the outside lane at 69 mph are the problem and those behind are not tail gaiting for it to be obvious that they should just pull over and let faster cars past.