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microdave

c***s on the road

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What's the best way to eat a fish supper when you're driving? If the fish is in a nice crispy batter you can pick it up and bite hunks off it but if it's in a soggy batter and/or really fresh, it falls all over the place and burns your fingers.

 

I've found kebabs are a real b*****d to eat at 60mph. You need both hands so you have to steer with your knees. Fine for motorways but not on the A92 coming south from Dundee through Fife. 

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3469464.jpg

DEATHS.  These figures are only for deaths at the scene. They do not count if you are even in the ambulance and die, never mind the hospital.

They show these results every year as it happens.  Very depressing, however if you look deeper.  It's not that much different than any other week here.  Truly horrific place to drive.  Wish me luck.

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52 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

3469464.jpg

DEATHS.  These figures are only for deaths at the scene. They do not count if you are even in the ambulance and die, never mind the hospital.

They show these results every year as it happens.  Very depressing, however if you look deeper.  It's not that much different than any other week here.  Truly horrific place to drive.  Wish me luck.

That is crazy 146 people died in road traffic accidents in Scoltand in 2017

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How can we have death statistics for up until Jan 2nd 2020?   Can only be a projection.  

It’s the daily running total.

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First Bus drivers in Glasgow can be utter gash.

 

I put my hand out to stop the bus. The guy slows down then speeds off. Presumably his wee joke to himself for the day. Next bus has a mixed destination; number going one way and the place name going the other.

 

And don't get me started on the passengers; complete wankers.

 

Just as well I'm such an easy going sort.

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c**t in a Land Rover who cut me up on the way into Livi retail park and then shortly after when over a crossing when an old women with a walking stick was a 1/4 the way across it. 

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Gave a lassie a row today for fleeing at me on the opposite side of a blind bend.

Road is too narrow for 2 cars to pass so when I got level with her I made it clear she needs to slow the f**k down. Stupid cow

 

 

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With this new fangled Internet and modern sellophones it's never been easier to plan and use buses in unfamiliar cities. Thus emboldened, today I boarded a bus in Bradford City centre and advised my man at the wheel that I sought to alight at Stop E, per Google maps' instruction. Chap told me he hadn't a clue where said stop was. Good job I could watch out the window and find it myself. 

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Another BMW today, cut up the jnside and tried to force his was in. Then pulled up beside me at red lights asking what’s wrong. I told him are you fucking stupid you almost crashed into the door my daughter is sitting at and you endangered her safety you fucking idiot.

His response, aye well I didn’t crash into you get out the fucking car.

My response, no chance I’m not going to act like a moron In front of my bairn.

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On the way to the game on Saturday via the M9, in the outside lane in a queue of traffic overtaking some lorries when some zoomer comes off the M876, accelerates up behind me and starts flashing his lights. Of course I slammed the brakes on and politely gave him the finger which seemed to excite him as he got redder in the face and started gesticulating. Kept the p***k behind me as I overtook the lorries then pulled in to exit at Falkirk. As he passed me he was going fucking purple and roaring at me. I smiled sweetly.

 

What a fucking arsehole. If I'm at the back of a line of traffic overtaking lorries, why the f**k should I pull over to let him get in front?

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5 hours ago, FalkirkBairn93 said:

Another BMW today, cut up the jnside and tried to force his was in. Then pulled up beside me at red lights asking what’s wrong. I told him are you fucking stupid you almost crashed into the door my daughter is sitting at and you endangered her safety you fucking idiot.

His response, aye well I didn’t crash into you get out the fucking car.

My response, no chance I’m not going to act like a moron In front of my bairn.

Shat it

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Was in Tesco car park in Cumbernauld yesterday. Was reversing out of my space slowly, in case cars would be driving down the spur of the car park I was in. As I reversed out, enough to be able to see, a woman, already in the spur, slowed down, flashed her lights, and waved for me to continue reversing out. I completed my reversing, started moving forwards, and gave her a wee wave and a quick three-flash of the hazards to say thanks.

One of life’s great moments. 😀

 

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12 minutes ago, pozbaird said:

Was in Tesco car park in Cumbernauld yesterday. Was reversing out of my space slowly, in case cars would be driving down the spur of the car park I was in. As I reversed out, enough to be able to see, a woman, already in the spur, slowed down, flashed her lights, and waved for me to continue reversing out. I completed my reversing, started moving forwards, and gave her a wee wave and a quick three-flash of the hazards to say thanks.

One of life’s great moments. 😀

 

Deffo wants to pump you IMO.

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On 29/12/2019 at 22:04, philpy said:
On 29/12/2019 at 21:53, Tractor said:
The chipshop East Coast in Musselburgh is excellent.    Went with Salt and Vinegar for taste reasons.  

Expensive though. No supper options, pay for your fish then yer chips separately. Plenty better options in musselburgh.

I'll be in Musselburgh mid March Philpy.

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Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Deffo wants to pump you IMO.

Hmmm. Maybe she hangs around pubs at night, waits for guys to come out at closing time, offers them a place to wait for a taxi. Offers them a drink. Scary stuff - I’ll need to choose the right pub, don’t want to miss out.

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12 hours ago, FalkirkBairn93 said:

Another BMW today, cut up the jnside and tried to force his was in. Then pulled up beside me at red lights asking what’s wrong. I told him are you fucking stupid you almost crashed into the door my daughter is sitting at and you endangered her safety you fucking idiot.

His response, aye well I didn’t crash into you get out the fucking car.

My response, no chance I’m not going to act like a moron In front of my bairn.

Who exactly is it that BMW drivers feel this constant need to impress?

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9 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I'll be in Musselburgh mid March Philpy.

Will you be back hanging about the bus stop?

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I'll be in Musselburgh mid March Philpy.
Well if that's the case I fucking well won't be.

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55 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

Will you be back hanging about the bus stop?

Harsh.

22 minutes ago, philpy said:
10 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:
I'll be in Musselburgh mid March Philpy.

Well if that's the case I fucking well won't be.

Harsher.

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