c***s on the road

[Melanius Mullarkey]

15 minutes ago, Raidernation said:

But, in both cases, fair.

To be fair, im glad Philpy wont be there.  He stinks. 

[philpy]

To be fair, im glad Philpy wont be there.  He stinks. 

I Fart in your general direction.

[Rizzo]

Husband got off lightly yesterday on the A84 (I think) heading up the side of Loch Lomond to the Beinglas campsite to pick me up after a walk.

He was driving along and preparing to enter a farm access road so had started to break and was indicating right. All good so far.

When he began to turn the young chap behind him decided that it'd be a good idea to overtake him as he was turning into this road. Husband slammed on the breaks and the other car missed ours by a bawhair. The driver lost control of his car and piled into a ditch.

Hubby tried to pull them out but his makeshift tow rope snapped so the guy and his girlfriend were stuck. He had mistakenly thought that husband was indicating that it was safe to pass (by indicting right ). We went along to the farm but the farmer wasn't able to help them as he'd had a drink. Also offered them a lift to the Drovers Inn but they refused so have no idea if they managed to get away that night or not. 

[Ron Aldo]

I was driving out my estate the other morning on the way to work. The roads were a bit icy so I was taking it easy when one of my arsehole neighbours, who was coming the opposite direction, decided to take a chance and turn right across my path to pull into their driveway rather than waiting the 3 seconds it would have taken me to pass. Obviously I didn't expect her to be that stupid so I was a bit late hitting the brakes which resulted in a near miss. She then had the cheek to shake her head as if this was somehow my fault.

[Arch Stanton]

No chippies have vinegar. Vinegar is a natural product brewed from fruit, veg, grains or alcohol.
Chippies have Non Brewed Condiment aka acetic acid, a synthetic product.
And, on topic, BMW drivers are, almost without exception, c***s.

[welshbairn]

Not so much c***s on the road, but c***s who designed the road network and signage south of the Queensferry Bridge, and Nissan's crappy satnav system. Took my mother to see her sister in a nursing home in Dalkeith from Inverness, and the recently updated Nissan bitch went into a sulk when she thought we were taking the pish by crossing open water where the new bridge is. Then we had to change motorways what seemed like 7 times, following directions for Glasgow or Edinburgh pretty randomly. Clear signage for the City of Edinburgh Bypass would have been handy. Coming back was much easier with Forth Road Bridge being frequently signed, and using Google Maps instead of the shite Nissan thing, but got frustrating seeing the bridge and having to circle away from it several times. Give me Birmingham's Spaghetti Junction any day of the week.

[Trackdaybob]

^^^^ Can't navigate ^^^^

[Mark Connolly]

1 hour ago, welshbairn said:

Not so much c***s on the road, but c***s who designed the road network and signage south of the Queensferry Bridge, and Nissan's crappy satnav system. Took my mother to see her sister in a nursing home in Dalkeith from Inverness, and the recently updated Nissan bitch went into a sulk when she thought we were taking the pish by crossing open water where the new bridge is. Then we had to change motorways what seemed like 7 times, following directions for Glasgow or Edinburgh pretty randomly. Clear signage for the City of Edinburgh Bypass would have been handy. Coming back was much easier with Forth Road Bridge being frequently signed, and using Google Maps instead of the shite Nissan thing, but got frustrating seeing the bridge and having to circle away from it several times. Give me Birmingham's Spaghetti Junction any day of the week.

I once took a journey from a farm near Tillicoultry to my mate's flat in Glasgow via the Clackmannanshire Bridge.

According to the sat nav, none of these existed.

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, Trackdaybob said:

^^^^ Can't navigate ^^^^

^^^regularly travels on the motorway system south of Fife^^^

[alta-pete]

3 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Not so much c***s on the road, but c***s who designed the road network and signage south of the Queensferry Bridge, and Nissan's crappy satnav system. Took my mother to see her sister in a nursing home in Dalkeith from Inverness, and the recently updated Nissan bitch went into a sulk when she thought we were taking the pish by crossing open water where the new bridge is. Then we had to change motorways what seemed like 7 times, following directions for Glasgow or Edinburgh pretty randomly. Clear signage for the City of Edinburgh Bypass would have been handy. Coming back was much easier with Forth Road Bridge being frequently signed, and using Google Maps instead of the shite Nissan thing, but got frustrating seeing the bridge and having to circle away from it several times. Give me Birmingham's Spaghetti Junction any day of the week.

^^^ teuchter in gets lost south of Perth shocker. And when did Nissan start making tractors?? With satnav??!? 

[welshbairn]

5 minutes ago, alta-pete said:

^^^ teuchter in gets lost south of Perth shocker. And when did Nissan start making tractors?? With satnav??!? 

I invite you to navigate the Inshes Roundabout anytime you like. Better bring your maw.

[alta-pete]

Just now, welshbairn said:

I invite you to navigate the Inshes Roundabout anytime you like. Better bring your maw.

We’ve got loads of those roundabout thingys round these parts A9. Have had for years. They present zero discombobulation to even ma maw. And she’s a simpleton. 

[Joe Terrapin]

13 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

These b*****ding things need to be banned off the road during rush hour.

Was behind one of these all the way up the A83 from Tarbet last year. The c**t refused to pull in and let anyone past. . I  had to get fuel at Lochgilphead and decided to stop for something to eat as well as no one was getting anywhere fast. I eventually caught up with hm on the single track Carradale Road and had to stifle my guffaws as he had driven into a ditch at the side of the road. It was still there 3 weeks later.

[Cosmic Joe]

1 hour ago, Joe Terrapin said:

Was behind one of these all the way up the A83 from Tarbet last year. The c**t refused to pull in and let anyone past. . I  had to get fuel at Lochgilphead and decided to stop for something to eat as well as no one was getting anywhere fast. I eventually caught up with hm on the single track Carradale Road and had to stifle my guffaws as he had driven into a ditch at the side of the road. It was still there 3 weeks later.

Ainscough sounds like the next super-virus that's going to be doing the rounds. A Scottish version, so it will probably be shite

[tamthebam]

6 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Not so much c***s on the road, but c***s who designed the road network and signage south of the Queensferry Bridge, and Nissan's crappy satnav system. Took my mother to see her sister in a nursing home in Dalkeith from Inverness, and the recently updated Nissan bitch went into a sulk when she thought we were taking the pish by crossing open water where the new bridge is. Then we had to change motorways what seemed like 7 times, following directions for Glasgow or Edinburgh pretty randomly. Clear signage for the City of Edinburgh Bypass would have been handy. Coming back was much easier with Forth Road Bridge being frequently signed, and using Google Maps instead of the shite Nissan thing, but got frustrating seeing the bridge and having to circle away from it several times. Give me Birmingham's Spaghetti Junction any day of the week.

If you managed to get through Edinburgh to Dalkeith without hitting at least one set of roadworks then you're a cnut.

[oldbitterandgrumpy]

It looks so innocuous when you approach it. Whenever I'm Inverness I'll happily detour through the town centre just to avoid it.

I invite you to navigate the Inshes Roundabout anytime you like. Better bring your maw.

[philpy]

Fat bitch driving a white mini has a habit of whizzing up the street at about 20mph, and if she doesn't slow down she'll end up knocking a kid down. The wife finally pulled her up about it, only to be met with a torrent of abuse. Silly cow.

[philpy]

Fat bitch driving a white mini has a habit of whizzing up the street at about 20mph, and if she doesn't slow down she'll end up knocking a kid down. The wife finally pulled her up about it, only to be met with a torrent of abuse. Silly cow.

[Gaz FFC]

1 hour ago, philpy said:

Fat bitch driving a white mini has a habit of whizzing up the street at about 20mph, and if she doesn't slow down she'll end up knocking a kid down. The wife finally pulled her up about it, only to be met with a torrent of abuse. Silly cow.

2 things I took from this post.

1, 20 isn't "whizzing" when I go 20 I feel like I am  not moving.

2, As soon as you said fat cow I just knew she would give the Wife abuse. She walked into that 1.

[Dee Man]

2 hours ago, philpy said:

Fat bitch driving a white mini has a habit of whizzing up the street at about 20mph, and if she doesn't slow down she'll end up knocking a kid down. The wife finally pulled her up about it, only to be met with a torrent of abuse. Silly cow.

What's the speed limit on the street?