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c***s on the road


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44 minutes ago, Newbornbairn said:

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Pair of c***s in a car park.

My £1 says they’re the proprietors.

Who have broken the cardinal rule - set in the 1960s by my great uncle Edwin who had a greengrocer shop on Portobello High Street - that you never NEVER park staff cars / company vehicles out front of the premises. That just means there’s one less nearby space for a potentially paying customer.

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3 minutes ago, alta-pete said:

My £1 says they’re the proprietors.

Who have broken the cardinal rule - set in the 1960s by my great uncle Edwin who had a greengrocer shop on Portobello High Street - that you never NEVER park staff cars / company vehicles out front of the premises. That just means there’s one less nearby space for a potentially paying customer.

The second reason being that any disgruntled customers know exactly which car to f**k up

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C**t in a car wash.

At the local service station and waiting for the DIY car wash to be free. After apparently pumping about £15 into the machine given how long I was waiting for him to finish, after rinsing his car the guy then produces a bag of accessories from the boot and begins to chamois-dry it. Not content with this he then also gets out a brush and spray cleaner and sets about scrubbing his wheels.

The c**t looked back in my direction a good few times to make sure I knew he was aware of me waiting. Hopefully he picked up a puncture on the way home. 

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2 hours ago, Zetterlund said:

C**t in a car wash.

At the local service station and waiting for the DIY car wash to be free. After apparently pumping about £15 into the machine given how long I was waiting for him to finish, after rinsing his car the guy then produces a bag of accessories from the boot and begins to chamois-dry it. Not content with this he then also gets out a brush and spray cleaner and sets about scrubbing his wheels.

The c**t looked back in my direction a good few times to make sure I knew he was aware of me waiting. Hopefully he picked up a puncture on the way home. 

I don’t begrudge the act, I dislike him not letting you know his intent. When I used a wash recently, I had to stop for 2 minutes to mist a ceramic compound on, then spray it around and off, then dry it…but it was a 4 bay wash.

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17 minutes ago, TxRover said:

I don’t begrudge the act, I dislike him not letting you know his intent. When I used a wash recently, I had to stop for 2 minutes to mist a ceramic compound on, then spray it around and off, then dry it…but it was a 4 bay wash.

Nah, this extra stuff does not require to remain parked in the (single) wash bay so c**t status is deserved in this guy's case. 

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Said it before, will say it again… Tesla drivers. I know, I fcuking well know that when you floor it away from the lights, the instant acceleration is quite something. 
If another dark blue Tesla ‘roars’ away from a standing start next to me, in a manner that says ‘look at me, my Tesla is fast as fcuk from a standing start’, then I might need to say to them, aye, but you all look the fcuking same in your dark blue paintjob, your interior sucks, just looks like an empty room with a big fcuking Apple iPad glued to the dashboard.

Tesla drivers can fcuk off. 😀

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45 minutes ago, pozbaird said:

Said it before, will say it again… Tesla drivers. I know, I fcuking well know that when you floor it away from the lights, the instant acceleration is quite something. 
If another dark blue Tesla ‘roars’ away from a standing start next to me, in a manner that says ‘look at me, my Tesla is fast as fcuk from a standing start’, then I might need to say to them, aye, but you all look the fcuking same in your dark blue paintjob, your interior sucks, just looks like an empty room with a big fcuking Apple iPad glued to the dashboard.

Tesla drivers can fcuk off. 😀

We have an electric Corsa, and it is quick off the mark as well, which catches out boy racer types quite a lot as it looks like a 'normal' Corsa.  Does that make me a c**t as well?

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55 minutes ago, pozbaird said:

Said it before, will say it again… Tesla drivers. I know, I fcuking well know that when you floor it away from the lights, the instant acceleration is quite something. 
If another dark blue Tesla ‘roars’ away from a standing start next to me, in a manner that says ‘look at me, my Tesla is fast as fcuk from a standing start’, then I might need to say to them, aye, but you all look the fcuking same in your dark blue paintjob, your interior sucks, just looks like an empty room with a big fcuking Apple iPad glued to the dashboard.

Tesla drivers can fcuk off. 😀

I saw my first Tesla parked up the other day, never noticed one on the road. Maybe I'm living in an impoverished area or I need my glasses checked.

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21 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Folk parking in disabled bays should have their cars crushed. My folks, who have a blue badge, can hardly get in a space because invariably someone has just abandoned their car there. Even at the hospital. 

Forfar's Asda is terrible for it. Most recent example was some creosote-tanned Facebook maw parking in one because she couldn't be bothered parking in the nearest parent and child space which was literally 15 feet further away. 

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9 hours ago, Soapy FFC said:

We have an electric Corsa, and it is quick off the mark as well, which catches out boy racer types quite a lot as it looks like a 'normal' Corsa.  Does that make me a c**t as well?

Pretty much all electric cars are rapid off the mark. Absolutely, you’re all kunts… those big batteries are environmentally unfriendly… get yourselves a wee 1.0 Ford petrol Ecoboost or equivalent. It’s the way forward. Kunts! 😃*

 

*Except Corsa drivers. Obviously.

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17 minutes ago, Benjamin_Nevis said:

Forfar's Asda is terrible for it. Most recent example was some creosote-tanned Facebook maw parking in one because she couldn't be bothered parking in the nearest parent and child space which was literally 15 feet further away. 

I assume she also had those big lips and carrying just a bit too much poundage?

wid

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10 minutes ago, pozbaird said:

Pretty much all electric cars are rapid off the mark. Absolutely, you’re all kunts… those big batteries are environmentally unfriendly… get yourselves a wee 1.0 Ford petrol Ecoboost or equivalent. It’s the way forward. Kunts! 😃*

 

*Except Corsa drivers. Obviously.

One of my mates in the 90s had a Citroen AX diesel which he claimed did 80mpg. Probably because it weighed about the same as a tin of beans (and would offer a similar amount of protection in an accident).

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51 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Folk parking in disabled bays should have their cars crushed. My folks, who have a blue badge, can hardly get in a space because invariably someone has just abandoned their car there. Even at the hospital. 

Should extend this to spouses of the blue badge owner using it when the holder isn't with them.

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9 minutes ago, Zetterlund said:

One of my mates in the 90s had a Citroen AX diesel which he claimed did 80mpg. Probably because it weighed about the same as a tin of beans (and would offer a similar amount of protection in an accident).

I had a petrol Citroen AX GT in about 1993. Loved that wee car. As you say, weighed about as much as a tin of beans (the wee tins with the ring pull)… but I have fond memories of it. The interior was cool (for the era), the wheels looked good, it was fun to drive. Heading out on the road myself soon… watching out for those dark blue Tesla knobheads. 😜

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