c***s on the road

[Jacksgranda]

2 hours ago, coprolite said:

I like to keep people on their toes

Their toes will be flat to the floor if they're following you...

[coprolite]

19 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Their toes will be flat to the floor if they're following you...

I'm just joking, i actually do indicate. I like indicating so much that today i indicated for about 1/2 mile through the town. I only noticed when i went to pass a parked bus. I panicked, switched it off then overtook. I'd have called me a twat. 

[Comrie]

Indicators are used by about 10% of Inverness, at best.

[Shandon Par]

A car looking a wee bit lost in Dunfermline on Friday. There’s a junction where if you turn right, the red lights facing another direction can make it seem like you are meant to stop. Confusing enough for locals but this car had Ukrainian plates and was unsure whether to go or not. This boot behind the car started blaring the horn and screaming at them. You’d think they’d show a bit of understanding or compassion that this person had come from Ukraine and was a wee bit lost. It was an empty road so the angry woman could have simply driven around the lost person anyway.

[IrishBhoy]

I encountered a woman in a Nissan Qashqai the other day, on the stretch of M8 between Glasgow Airport and the Kingston Bridge, who I can only assume was playing a game called ‘Change Lanes as many times as possible in the space of 15 minutes’. I genuinely don’t think she stayed in the same lane for any longer than 30 seconds at a time, and I was driving along a few cars back from her just utterly astounded at what I was witnessing. At this point I was unaware as to the gender of the driver, but when we got to the junction at Ibrox I made sure to get alongside so I could get a positive visual inspection of just what kind of space cadet we were dealing with. It was a sleight, dark haired woman; height estimated at 5’4”, salary of around £45k per annum, possibly divorced, 2 grown up kids, one of whom has emigrated to New Zealand or possibly Australia. 
 

As I continued up the motorway towards Glasgow city centre, I could see her in my mirror sitting in the furthest inside lane which splits off and merges on to the M74. I became more content at this point, as I assumed she must have been heading in that direction, and even gave her credit in my head for choosing the inside lane correctly. About 15 seconds later I glance back into my rear view mirror and I can’t see her. I slightly panic for the briefest moment; she was there a minute ago and to the best of my knowledge her Nissan Qashqai doesn’t possess the same accelerative performance as my German engineered turbo diesel 2 litre engine. Everything becomes clear as I go to check my near side wing mirror though, as she’s now flying up the outside lane at about 80mph in a 50mph limit. She screamed away in to the distance and I’ve never seen her or the car again, and can only assume by her actions that she is dealing with a genuine mental illness. 
 

[RH33]

1 hour ago, IrishBhoy said:

I encountered a woman in a Nissan Qashqai the other day, on the stretch of M8 between Glasgow Airport and the Kingston Bridge, who I can only assume was playing a game called ‘Change Lanes as many times as possible in the space of 15 minutes’. I genuinely don’t think she stayed in the same lane for any longer than 30 seconds at a time, and I was driving along a few cars back from her just utterly astounded at what I was witnessing. At this point I was unaware as to the gender of the driver, but when we got to the junction at Ibrox I made sure to get alongside so I could get a positive visual inspection of just what kind of space cadet we were dealing with. It was a sleight, dark haired woman; height estimated at 5’4”, salary of around £45k per annum, possibly divorced, 2 grown up kids, one of whom has emigrated to New Zealand or possibly Australia. 
 

As I continued up the motorway towards Glasgow city centre, I could see her in my mirror sitting in the furthest inside lane which splits off and merges on to the M74. I became more content at this point, as I assumed she must have been heading in that direction, and even gave her credit in my head for choosing the inside lane correctly. About 15 seconds later I glance back into my rear view mirror and I can’t see her. I slightly panic for the briefest moment; she was there a minute ago and to the best of my knowledge her Nissan Qashqai doesn’t possess the same accelerative performance as my German engineered turbo diesel 2 litre engine. Everything becomes clear as I go to check my near side wing mirror though, as she’s now flying up the outside lane at about 80mph in a 50mph limit. She screamed away in to the distance and I’ve never seen her or the car again, and can only assume by her actions that she is dealing with a genuine mental illness. 
 

Didn't happen......no way you can't get airport to Kingston bridge in 15min with the sodding roadworks!

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

On 16/05/2022 at 20:16, Andy Dufresne said:

My first car was a 1.3L bright yellow N reg Ford Capri,cost me £40,my last Capri was a Y reg 2.8i now that was a total mad car to drive.

My first was a mk 1 , 1.6 crossflow. 

Racing green, vynal roof, I'd always wanted a Capri since I was a boy in the 80s. Had it 9 days and a taxi arsed me into another taxi while sitting at traffic lights. 

Was a beautifull 9 days tho.

[Leith Green]

People who indicate when the road has "a bit of a bend" in it - was behind some stupid bint today who did it twice in the space of 200 yards.

How the suffering f**k did these b*****ds get a licence?

Fuckwittery

[alta-pete]

On 22/05/2022 at 17:14, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said:

My first was a mk 1 , 1.6 crossflow. 

Racing green, vynal roof, I'd always wanted a Capri since I was a boy in the 80s. Had it 9 days and a taxi arsed me into another taxi while sitting at traffic lights. 

Was a beautifull 9 days tho.

Started with a T-reg navy 1.6GL. 

Later on had a silver 2.8injection special. 

Then, mid life crisis time c.15 years ago, got a Caspian Blue(?) 2.8injection special as a weekend toy. 

Given I was driving a company Volvo S60 at the time, the Capri just felt really old, slow and the ride (steady now) was rubbish. Great cars in their prime but I’d recommend leaving them as memories. Revisiting your heroes can be really disappointing. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Two things:

1. Those fucking Eurobins that are on every street these days.

2. c***s that think they can just park next to Eurobins this creating a chicane like experience.

Driving through Dundee is like the Monaco Grand Prix these days.  Minus the posh c***s and the money obvs.

[Loonytoons]

People who indicate when the road has "a bit of a bend" in it - was behind some stupid bint today who did it twice in the space of 200 yards.
How the suffering f**k did these b*****ds get a licence?
Fuckwittery

I do this on the odd occasion, normally on a pretty tight bend tbf and only on left turns.
Brain fart if truth be told.

[Leith Green]

26 minutes ago, Loonytoons said:

I do this on the odd occasion, normally on a pretty tight bend tbf and only on left turns.
Brain fart if truth be told.

[tamthebam]

7 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

Two things:

1. Those fucking Eurobins that are on every street these days.

2. c***s that think they can just park next to Eurobins this creating a chicane like experience.

Driving through Dundee is like the Monaco Grand Prix these days.  Minus the posh c***s and the money obvs.

Open Eurobin. Find some chips. Put them on roof of car. Let seagulls wreak your revenge for you 

[Loonytoons]

Mr Bugatti driver hopefully getting a chap on the door at some point.
Almost involved in two head on crashes while trying to overtake a line of three cars and a lorry on a twisty C class road.

Did I call the cops? Yes I did.
Such blatant disregard for the safety of everyone on that wee stretch of road today was quite astounding.

[Florentine_Pogen]

5 minutes ago, Loonytoons said:

Mr Bugatti driver hopefully getting a chap on the door at some point.
Almost involved in two head on crashes while trying to overtake a line of three cars and a lorry on a twisty C class road.

Did I call the cops? Yes I did.
Such blatant disregard for the safety of everyone on that wee stretch of road today was quite astounding.

Any excuse to put this up. (Lambo ? Stoopid Murkans....)

 

[Leith Green]

9 minutes ago, Loonytoons said:

Mr Bugatti driver hopefully getting a chap on the door at some point.
Almost involved in two head on crashes while trying to overtake a line of three cars and a lorry on a twisty C class road.

Did I call the cops? Yes I did.
Such blatant disregard for the safety of everyone on that wee stretch of road today was quite astounding.

[Loonytoons]

That's me [emoji1787][emoji1787]

First time I've ever done that, honest guv.
Seen some dangerous stuff over the years but that's the first time I've ever thought that it warranted a snitching.

[Loonytoons]

Turns out the guy is a complete p***k who's
happy to be a dick on the road risking other people's lives and carrying a number plate that is not registered.

[Boghead ranter]

11 hours ago, Loonytoons said:

Turns out the guy is a complete p***k who's
happy to be a dick on the road risking other people's lives and carrying a number plate that is not registered.

Cannae be that many Bugattis cutting about for PC Plod to trace though, Shirley? Especially when you can further narrow it down by colour?

[Empty It]

Cannae be that many Bugattis cutting about for PC Plod to trace though, Shirley? Especially when you can further narrow it down by colour?

The problem with that is for the police to prove beyond reasonable doubt it was that car and it probably wouldn't be worth their time or the small fortune it would cost to try proving it was this specific car.