c***s on the road

[Archie McSquackle]

My family directed me to this from Hamilton News Stand Facebook page - c***s off the road.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10159045387427649&id=717442648&sfnsn=scwspmo

[throbber]

Had 3 near misses on my 15 minute commute to work this morning.

First was a van parallel parked on the right hand side of the road pulling out on me about 100 meters from my front door and I had to slam on the brakes to avoid slamming into the side of him. Didn’t even get a wave or a flash of the lights for acknowledgement:

Second there was a car on the inside lane of a busy roundabout cut inside without indicating or checking mirrors and very nearly slamming into the side of some poor lady driver, again the driver didn’t even give a wave of apology for his brainless actions.

Third was the nearest one to a serious accident when some knobhead was turning off a busy country road, he clearly could have seen me coming and i had to slam on the breaks to avoid slamming into the side of him. 
 

Definitely something in the air today.

[IrishBhoy]

Been driving to work around 6am for the past few days, along the M8 from Glasgow Airport and then onto the M74. There’s very few cars on the road at that time, but it fascinates me how many people just love to sit in the middle lane of an empty motorway. What could they possibly have against driving in the left hand, it absolute baffles me  I don’t know if some people think it’s safer as they are further away from the crash barrier/grass verge. That’s the only reason I can think of but it’s still absolutely idiotic.
 

While these clowns bowl along in the middle lane as I come up behind them in the left hand lane, I have to make 4 lane changes to overtake them. The vast majority of the time I undertake them to see if they realise what they are doing and pull over, but 99% they just continue on their merry way, oblivious to the rules of the road. 
 

Im actually looking forward to the day I get pulled over by the police for undertaking someone because I would like to hear their views on it, it is an offence after all. Although I have never heard of anyone even being pulled over for it. 

[Newbornbairn]

It's just laziness. Less lane changes involved, they can sit in the middle lane for miles undisturbed whilst they pick their noses and text their mates.

 

BTW - undertaking in front of the cops can get you 6pts and a fine, as my step-son found out. 

[IrishBhoy]

10 minutes ago, Smikka Smikka Smoodoo said:

It's just laziness. Less lane changes involved, they can sit in the middle lane for miles undisturbed whilst they pick their noses and text their mates.

 

BTW - undertaking in front of the cops can get you 6pts and a fine, as my step-son found out. 

I think I would take the 6 points and the fine to get the chance to ask why they don’t enforce the very simple rule that you drive in the left hand lane when not over taking another car. The first offence has been commited by the person in the middle lane, my offence is only able to take place if the other driver has already committed an offence. I really should learn just to let it go over my head because it’s never going to change. 

[Newbornbairn]

5 minutes ago, IrishBhoy said:

I think I would take the 6 points and the fine to get the chance to ask why they don’t enforce the very simple rule that you drive in the left hand lane when not over taking another car. The first offence has been commited by the person in the middle lane, my offence is only able to take place if the other driver has already committed an offence. I really should learn just to let it go over my head because it’s never going to change. 

Good for you, you tell them. 

[IrishBhoy]

1 minute ago, Smikka Smikka Smoodoo said:

Good for you, you tell them. 

When you wake up one morning and everyone is driving in the left hand lane, remember that it was my sacrifice that made it happen. 

[Ron Aldo]

At least there are ways of legally getting past a c**t in the middle lane even if it is a pain in the arse. Folk who sit in the outside lane overtaking absolutely no one are the worst.

[thistledo]

1 hour ago, IrishBhoy said:

Been driving to work around 6am for the past few days, along the M8 from Glasgow Airport and then onto the M74. There’s very few cars on the road at that time, but it fascinates me how many people just love to sit in the middle lane of an empty motorway. What could they possibly have against driving in the left hand, it absolute baffles me  I don’t know if some people think it’s safer as they are further away from the crash barrier/grass verge. That’s the only reason I can think of but it’s still absolutely idiotic.
 

While these clowns bowl along in the middle lane as I come up behind them in the left hand lane, I have to make 4 lane changes to overtake them. The vast majority of the time I undertake them to see if they realise what they are doing and pull over, but 99% they just continue on their merry way, oblivious to the rules of the road. 
 

Im actually looking forward to the day I get pulled over by the police for undertaking someone because I would like to hear their views on it, it is an offence after all. Although I have never heard of anyone even being pulled over for it. 

I undertook the police on the M74 while speeding many years ago (unmarked Audi) they'd pulled out and decided to hog the outside lane. Thinking it was your standard Audi w****r, I got impatient, subtly pulled in and eased past, pulled back out again further along and planted it. I glanced back and the Audi had kept a specific 2/3 sec gap after I sped up, I knew then it was the police by now and I genuinely thought I'd fucked it given the speed. Anyway I started changing lanes as I was approaching my junction, they followed my every move, followed me off the slip and stopped right next to me at the traffic lights, I could feel the glare from the driver as he rolled the window down. He enquired as to whether I had any points already, to which I answered no, he then simply informed me not to undertake as you never know who it could be. Judging by age, attire and attitude he was probably a detective or something and didn't give a f**k. 

Another story if it was traffics. 

Edited March 29, 2021 by thistledo

[flyingscot]

Undertaking isn't an offence from memory you get prosecuted under careless or dangerous driving. 

It's worse for HGV or bus drivers as you are banned from the outside lane on 3 lane or more motorways so often cannot legally get past some middle lane dawdler. 

The M5/M6 4 lane 'smart motorway' sections are chronic for lane hogging- it seems there is a truck lane, empty lane, lane hogger lane, everyone else.

Edited March 29, 2021 by flyingscot

[IrishBhoy]

50 minutes ago, thistledo said:

I undertook the police on the M74 while speeding many years ago (unmarked Audi) they'd pulled out and decided to hog the outside lane. Thinking it was your standard Audi w****r, I got impatient, subtly pulled in and eased past, pulled back out again further along and planted it. I glanced back and the Audi had kept a specific 2/3 sec gap after I sped up, I knew then it was the police by now and I genuinely thought I'd fucked it given the speed. Anyway I started changing lanes as I was approaching my junction, they followed my every move, followed me off the slip and stopped right next to me at the traffic lights, I could feel the glare from the driver as he rolled the window down. He enquired as to whether I had any points already, to which I answered no, he then simply informed me not to undertake as you never know who it could be. Judging by age, attire and attitude he was probably a detective or something and didn't give a f**k. 

Another story if it was traffics. 

The traffics are a different story, but your run of the mill police are absolutely clueless when it comes to traffic offences. I was on the part of the M8 after Braehead where there is 4 lanes with the furthest left lane heading to the Clyde tunnel. This was the lane the police were in as I was in the middle lane with my speedometer saying I was doing 76. I didn’t bother to slow down when I seen them as I assumed they were carrying on to come off the motorway, plus the fact my true speed was probably around 70 as the Speedo always shows slightly faster. I got round the corner towards Ibrox and they’ve obviously came back onto the M8, rallied up behind me and stuck the lights on. 
 

Got in the back seat and the guy gives the usual ‘do you know why we stopped you?’ I was genuinely bemused and could only assume it was a problem with my insurance or MOT. I said no you will need to tell me and he said well we’ve just had to do 90mph to catch up with you  I genuinely laughed out loud and regret to this day that I didn’t start explaining to him that going at 90mph to catch up with me doesn’t mean that I was doing anything close to 90mph, and that by the very nature or ‘catching up with me’ he was always going to need to go faster. 
 

I was honest and said the highest number I seen on my dash was 76mph, and he made a stupid face and said well you were driving over the speed limit it’s 3 points and a fine. I was happy to take the fixed penalty off him at the time but knew I would be going to see a lawyer as I was pretty sure that to be done with a speeding offence there has to be a calibrated read out.
 

The guy then decides he’s going to radio through to a superior to confirm that it was only 3 points as the other policeman in the passenger seat said it could possibly be 6   At this point I was waiting on Ant and Dec jumping out and could do nothing but laugh. So I’m sitting listening along to his conversation with his superior which went roughly like this - 

Polis - I’ve got a man here who’s admitted to travelling over the speed limit, is that dealt with by 3 points or 6 points? 
 

Superior - What? No you can’t issue offences for speeding it will be your word against his. 
 

Polis - So only 3 points?

Superior - No. Nothing. Was he driving dangerously or weaving in and out the lanes? 
 

Polis - No

Superior - Well it’s nothing then you need to let him go. 
 

Im sitting in the back grinning from ear to ear at this clowns incompetence. He turns and says I take it you heard that? Watch your speed in future. Absolute buffoons, but dangerous buffoons with the abilty to make someone’s life a misery. 

[thistledo]

45 minutes ago, IrishBhoy said:

The traffics are a different story, but your run of the mill police are absolutely clueless when it comes to traffic offences. I was on the part of the M8 after Braehead where there is 4 lanes with the furthest left lane heading to the Clyde tunnel. This was the lane the police were in as I was in the middle lane with my speedometer saying I was doing 76. I didn’t bother to slow down when I seen them as I assumed they were carrying on to come off the motorway, plus the fact my true speed was probably around 70 as the Speedo always shows slightly faster. I got round the corner towards Ibrox and they’ve obviously came back onto the M8, rallied up behind me and stuck the lights on. 
 

Got in the back seat and the guy gives the usual ‘do you know why we stopped you?’ I was genuinely bemused and could only assume it was a problem with my insurance or MOT. I said no you will need to tell me and he said well we’ve just had to do 90mph to catch up with you  I genuinely laughed out loud and regret to this day that I didn’t start explaining to him that going at 90mph to catch up with me doesn’t mean that I was doing anything close to 90mph, and that by the very nature or ‘catching up with me’ he was always going to need to go faster. 
 

I was honest and said the highest number I seen on my dash was 76mph, and he made a stupid face and said well you were driving over the speed limit it’s 3 points and a fine. I was happy to take the fixed penalty off him at the time but knew I would be going to see a lawyer as I was pretty sure that to be done with a speeding offence there has to be a calibrated read out.
 

The guy then decides he’s going to radio through to a superior to confirm that it was only 3 points as the other policeman in the passenger seat said it could possibly be 6   At this point I was waiting on Ant and Dec jumping out and could do nothing but laugh. So I’m sitting listening along to his conversation with his superior which went roughly like this - 

Polis - I’ve got a man here who’s admitted to travelling over the speed limit, is that dealt with by 3 points or 6 points? 
 

Superior - What? No you can’t issue offences for speeding it will be your word against his. 
 

Polis - So only 3 points?

Superior - No. Nothing. Was he driving dangerously or weaving in and out the lanes? 
 

Polis - No

Superior - Well it’s nothing then you need to let him go. 
 

Im sitting in the back grinning from ear to ear at this clowns incompetence. He turns and says I take it you heard that? Watch your speed in future. Absolute buffoons, but dangerous buffoons with the abilty to make someone’s life a misery. 

The "I had to do X to catch up with you" is often the party line. It is laughable to use it, it's entirely up to them what speed they chose to do to catch someone. Not that I'd doubt your story but if that happened word for word that's absolutely shambolic. 

In my experience 10mph over or even more, most regular police (not traffics) really don't care provided you're not being a c**t about it. Although would probably depend on age and what you were driving as well. 

[IrishBhoy]

26 minutes ago, thistledo said:

The "I had to do X to catch up with you" is often the party line. It is laughable to use it, it's entirely up to them what speed they chose to do to catch someone. Not that I'd doubt your story but if that happened word for word that's absolutely shambolic. 

In my experience 10mph over or even more, most regular police (not traffics) really don't care provided you're not being a c**t about it. Although would probably depend on age and what you were driving as well. 

The conversation between him and his colleague on the radio was slightly longer than I’ve wrote there but everything else is exactly how it happened. I wasn’t being a c**t to them with anything I said but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing and shaking my head at them, maybe muttered a couple of ‘for fucks sake’ at some of the stuff they were coming away with. 
 

I didn’t get angry when I was in the car with them but when I thought about it later I had every right to be. For all he knew I could have had a job which relied on me holding a driving license, and he was happy to try and issue me with 6 points on my license because he ‘had to do 90mph to catch up with me’. As you say, the most idiotic line you could ever hear, even if I was doing 70mph he could legitimately say he had to do 150mph to catch up with me. 
 

I was always going to contest the charge as I was pretty certain that what they were doing was wrong, but if that had been someone who just accepted it, they’ve now got 6 points on their  license because a policeman can’t do his job properly. 

I have absolutely no respect for the police as I had a very bad experience in the past where a policeman made up a charge against me out of thin air, and his nodding dog of a partner went along with every word he said, even though he knew that it was a complete fabrication. This was when I was 18 and half way through an apprenticeship. The case got all the way to the Justice court in Glasgow where it got thrown out when the lying policeman admitted that the signature at the bottom of his statement was forged and hadnt been signed by him, even though it was his name on it. To this day I still can’t get my head round how a grown man, a policeman no less, could make something like that up and be content with himself that if I had been charged I would have almost certainly have lost my apprenticeship, meanwhile he walks back into his work the next day with no qualms about it ready to do it all again. His lies could have genuinely ruined my life and future career.
 

The problem with the police is that they aren’t all willing to lie like that, but they are absolutely terrified of sticking in their colleagues when they know they are lying, which makes them just as bad imo. 

Edited March 29, 2021 by IrishBhoy

[Empty It]

The traffics are a different story, but your run of the mill police are absolutely clueless when it comes to traffic offences. I was on the part of the M8 after Braehead where there is 4 lanes with the furthest left lane heading to the Clyde tunnel. This was the lane the police were in as I was in the middle lane with my speedometer saying I was doing 76. I didn’t bother to slow down when I seen them as I assumed they were carrying on to come off the motorway, plus the fact my true speed was probably around 70 as the Speedo always shows slightly faster. I got round the corner towards Ibrox and they’ve obviously came back onto the M8, rallied up behind me and stuck the lights on. 
 
Got in the back seat and the guy gives the usual ‘do you know why we stopped you?’ I was genuinely bemused and could only assume it was a problem with my insurance or MOT. I said no you will need to tell me and he said well we’ve just had to do 90mph to catch up with you [emoji38] I genuinely laughed out loud and regret to this day that I didn’t start explaining to him that going at 90mph to catch up with me doesn’t mean that I was doing anything close to 90mph, and that by the very nature or ‘catching up with me’ he was always going to need to go faster. 
 
I was honest and said the highest number I seen on my dash was 76mph, and he made a stupid face and said well you were driving over the speed limit it’s 3 points and a fine. I was happy to take the fixed penalty off him at the time but knew I would be going to see a lawyer as I was pretty sure that to be done with a speeding offence there has to be a calibrated read out.
 
The guy then decides he’s going to radio through to a superior to confirm that it was only 3 points as the other policeman in the passenger seat said it could possibly be 6 [emoji38]  At this point I was waiting on Ant and Dec jumping out and could do nothing but laugh. So I’m sitting listening along to his conversation with his superior which went roughly like this - 
Polis - I’ve got a man here who’s admitted to travelling over the speed limit, is that dealt with by 3 points or 6 points? 
 
Superior - What? No you can’t issue offences for speeding it will be your word against his. 
 
Polis - So only 3 points?
Superior - No. Nothing. Was he driving dangerously or weaving in and out the lanes? 
 
Polis - No
Superior - Well it’s nothing then you need to let him go. 
 
Im sitting in the back grinning from ear to ear at this clowns incompetence. He turns and says I take it you heard that? Watch your speed in future. Absolute buffoons, but dangerous buffoons with the abilty to make someone’s life a misery. 

Your first problem was admitting to the 76mph, if pulled over and they ask you what speed you were doing always say 70 or say you dont know as they're just looking to incriminate you. Don't know when this incident took place but now they'd give you 3 points as they record everything and you admitted to breaking the speed limit.

[IrishBhoy]

49 minutes ago, Empty It said:

2 hours ago, IrishBhoy said:

The traffics are a different story, but your run of the mill police are absolutely clueless when it comes to traffic offences. I was on the part of the M8 after Braehead where there is 4 lanes with the furthest left lane heading to the Clyde tunnel. This was the lane the police were in as I was in the middle lane with my speedometer saying I was doing 76. I didn’t bother to slow down when I seen them as I assumed they were carrying on to come off the motorway, plus the fact my true speed was probably around 70 as the Speedo always shows slightly faster. I got round the corner towards Ibrox and they’ve obviously came back onto the M8, rallied up behind me and stuck the lights on. 
 
Got in the back seat and the guy gives the usual ‘do you know why we stopped you?’ I was genuinely bemused and could only assume it was a problem with my insurance or MOT. I said no you will need to tell me and he said well we’ve just had to do 90mph to catch up with you  I genuinely laughed out loud and regret to this day that I didn’t start explaining to him that going at 90mph to catch up with me doesn’t mean that I was doing anything close to 90mph, and that by the very nature or ‘catching up with me’ he was always going to need to go faster. 
 
I was honest and said the highest number I seen on my dash was 76mph, and he made a stupid face and said well you were driving over the speed limit it’s 3 points and a fine. I was happy to take the fixed penalty off him at the time but knew I would be going to see a lawyer as I was pretty sure that to be done with a speeding offence there has to be a calibrated read out.
 
The guy then decides he’s going to radio through to a superior to confirm that it was only 3 points as the other policeman in the passenger seat said it could possibly be 6   At this point I was waiting on Ant and Dec jumping out and could do nothing but laugh. So I’m sitting listening along to his conversation with his superior which went roughly like this - 
Polis - I’ve got a man here who’s admitted to travelling over the speed limit, is that dealt with by 3 points or 6 points? 
 
Superior - What? No you can’t issue offences for speeding it will be your word against his. 
 
Polis - So only 3 points?
Superior - No. Nothing. Was he driving dangerously or weaving in and out the lanes? 
 
Polis - No
Superior - Well it’s nothing then you need to let him go. 
 
Im sitting in the back grinning from ear to ear at this clowns incompetence. He turns and says I take it you heard that? Watch your speed in future. Absolute buffoons, but dangerous buffoons with the abilty to make someone’s life a misery. 

Your first problem was admitting to the 76mph, if pulled over and they ask you what speed you were doing always say 70 or say you dont know as they're just looking to incriminate you. Don't know when this incident took place but now they'd give you 3 points as they record everything and you admitted to breaking the speed limit.

Is it not the case that speedometers show a slightly faster speed than what you are actually doing? I know in my old Ford Focus, when I was using a SatNav the speedometer would be showing my speed at 78mph while the satnav would be showing around 70mph. I think almost all cars read slightly high although I could be wrong. 
 

There is absolutely no way you would be getting 3 points for admitting doing 76mph in a 70mph limit. Even although I admitted it, who is to say how accurate my speedometer is. We would be going down a very slippery slope if we started allowing police to start judging a cars speed with no sort of equipment capable of recording speed, apart from ‘we had to do X mph to catch up with you’. 

[Boghead ranter]

13 minutes ago, IrishBhoy said:

Is it not the case that speedometers show a slightly faster speed than what you are actually doing? I know in my old Ford Focus, when I was using a SatNav the speedometer would be showing my speed at 78mph while the satnav would be showing around 70mph. I think almost all cars read slightly high although I could be wrong. 
 

There is absolutely no way you would be getting 3 points for admitting doing 76mph in a 70mph limit. Even although I admitted it, who is to say how accurate my speedometer is. We would be going down a very slippery slope if we started allowing police to start judging a cars speed with no sort of equipment capable of recording speed, apart from ‘we had to do X mph to catch up with you’. 

If I'm sitting at 80 on the speedo, my Google maps reads it as 72/73. 

When I'm doing 30 by satnav,  my speedo is at about 37.

I'd still shite it if a cop car was behind me, and go by the speedo, though. 

[IrishBhoy]

11 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

If I'm sitting at 80 on the speedo, my Google maps reads it as 72/73. 

When I'm doing 30 by satnav,  my speedo is at about 37.

I'd still shite it if a cop car was behind me, and go by the speedo, though. 

That’s fair enough, I only ever go with the speed showing on my dash and I’m not trying to second guess it. But for the police to be able to hand out 3 points on the back of me saying ‘my speedo said I was doing 76’ is nonsense, there’s not a jury in the land that would convict you. 

[PB1994]

4 hours ago, IrishBhoy said:

Is it not the case that speedometers show a slightly faster speed than what you are actually doing? I know in my old Ford Focus, when I was using a SatNav the speedometer would be showing my speed at 78mph while the satnav would be showing around 70mph. I think almost all cars read slightly high although I could be wrong. 
 

There is absolutely no way you would be getting 3 points for admitting doing 76mph in a 70mph limit. Even although I admitted it, who is to say how accurate my speedometer is. We would be going down a very slippery slope if we started allowing police to start judging a cars speed with no sort of equipment capable of recording speed, apart from ‘we had to do X mph to catch up with you’. 

No idea if this is right but I thought the speedometer was always 3-4 mph over what you are actually doing and there is also about the same difference in a speed gun if the police are using that.

I’m not sure what it is like in other parts of the country but it’s a general rule on the A9 from Inverness to Perth that you can drive just under 70 mph on the single carriageways and not get trouble, even with the average speed cameras. The dual carriageways are just go as fast as you want unless there is a police car sitting around.

[Raidernation]

1. You always say “I don’t know officer I was watching the road/traffic”
2. Does Scotland still need corobberation to issue tickets?
3. If you’ve ever seen the trope of tiny old blind lady driving an ancient huge Buick and can’t see over the steering wheel you’ll understand this one. If I get my timing out by a couple of minutes there’s a great grandma driving a fucking monster truck on my route to school every day. I mean this thing is easily a stepladder job for me to get into. I only know because I saw her, with a set of steps, get out one day. She drives at 10mph.
If she still even has a pie it’s gonna get kicked one day

[TheScarf]

I can't believe he used the 'I had to drive at x mph to catch up with you' line.  Well yes, you generally have to be moving faster than an object to get closer to it.