c***s on the road

[Academically Deficient]

On 08/10/2020 at 13:50, tamthebam said:

Cnuts on the road part 2. 

A whole load of sad midlife crisis tossers in expensive sports cars on the A76 near Sanquhar. It's the "epic rally" apparently. On a main public road. "But I'm sure the Jockos won't mind"

I hope there's a speed trap somewhere up the road. Or an outbreak of hillbilly warfare between Auchinleck and Cumnock that wastes them.

"Gaun too fost on the seeventy six, son. Squeal like a pig, ken"

Edited October 28, 2020 by Academically Deficient
Spelling

[coprolite]

Traffic light changes. Less than a second elapses before man in car behind starts tooting. 

Cue for the vs and a very, very leisurely start. 

[Empty It]

Glad we're now back to the dark commute home, all the old c***s can't see a thing and do 50 down the bypass.

[Shotgun]

In what surely counts as a *OTR cliché, today I. was passed on a 65mph 4-lane road by an Audi doing, I would estimate, about 140. Followed 1 and a 1/2 car lengths behind by a BMW doing the same speed. 
 

Cue both of them anchoring up hard and fishtailing all over the road after an old lad doing the speed limit in a rusty pickemup pulled into the passing lane right in front of them. 
 

Sadly, there was no carnage but alldasame, good on ya Jethro. 

[101]

7 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

In what surely counts as a *OTR cliché, today I. was passed on a 65mph 4-lane road by an Audi doing, I would estimate, about 140. Followed 1 and a 1/2 car lengths behind by a BMW doing the same speed. 
 

Cue both of them anchoring up hard and fishtailing all over the road after an old lad doing the speed limit in a rusty pickemup pulled into the passing lane right in front of them. 
 

Sadly, there was no carnage but alldasame, good on ya Jethro. 

Middle lane w****r^ 

[Newbornbairn]

On 27/10/2020 at 19:16, microdave said:

I was waiting to turn right at a roundabout this evening. The first two cars coming from my right failed to indicate even though both turned left and it was left to the third, an Audi of all things, to finally indicate left and let me on. This obviously isn't unusual but I thought I'd share with you all that not all Audi drivers are c***s on the road.

That's one of the sales reps from the local dealership doing his stint of "drive an Audi around like a normal person" for the day. 

[woolf]

A couple of months back I was leaving the A1 at Musselburgh heading to Sherrif hall.Im in a van doing 60-65 and overtaking an HGV and the arsehole behind me is flashing his lights and is inches behind me.Soon as I’ve pulled in this muppet absolutely floored his beat up old escort to overtake me,giving me the finger as he passed.His motor had one of them “w****r exhausts” and looked like he’d recently painted it with white vinyl silk.

A couple of hundred yards up the road his car had broke down with smoke bellowing out from the bonnet .I enjoyed laughing at him so much that I drove back round Sheriff hall  so I could give him a bit more.He wasn’t a happy man/jakey wee b*****d.

[Newbornbairn]

Who was it said the A9 has been improved by the Average Speed cameras? I was on it the other day going up to Boat of Garten and the amount of arseholes overtaking lines of traffic then forcing their way into spaces was as bad as ever. 

[TheScarf]

3 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said:

Who was it said the A9 has been improved by the Average Speed cameras? I was on it the other day going up to Boat of Garten and the amount of arseholes overtaking lines of traffic then forcing their way into spaces was as bad as ever. 

That'll never stop until it's dualled.  Whenever the fuck that'll be.

[thistledo]

I hate c***s that turn into junctions crossing the opposite side of the road nearly hitting you as you approach the same junction, lazy c***s. Happened to me last night and instead of trying to correct it, they just slowed down making it worse. Was absolutely oblivious to the gestures I was aiming towards him, suspect he couldn't actually see that well in the dark. 

[Jacksgranda]

9 minutes ago, thistledo said:

I hate c***s that turn into junctions crossing the opposite side of the road nearly hitting you as you approach the same junction, lazy c***s. Happened to me last night and instead of trying to correct it, they just slowed down making it worse. Was absolutely oblivious to the gestures I was aiming towards him, suspect he couldn't actually see that well in the dark. 

Happens all the time on the main road running through our village. One day somebody's going to get cleavered by a lorry, which come down the road with some authority and regularity, and it would serve them right.

It's shocking driving in all honesty, cutting across white lines like that.

[Snobot]

13 minutes ago, thistledo said:

I hate c***s that turn into junctions crossing the opposite side of the road nearly hitting you as you approach the same junction, lazy c***s. Happened to me last night and instead of trying to correct it, they just slowed down making it worse. Was absolutely oblivious to the gestures I was aiming towards him, suspect he couldn't actually see that well in the dark. 

I was crossing a side road on foot a while back and some twat cut right across the road while turning and tooted at me despite the fact he was crossing over the wrong side is the road and I was well past the centre line. Cùnt.

[thistledo]

27 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Happens all the time on the main road running through our village. One day somebody's going to get cleavered by a lorry, which come down the road with some authority and regularity, and it would serve them right.

It's shocking driving in all honesty, cutting across white lines like that.

We can but hope. 

24 minutes ago, Snobot said:

I was crossing a side road on foot a while back and some twat cut right across the road while turning and tooted at me despite the fact he was crossing over the wrong side is the road and I was well past the centre line. Cùnt.

Also an infringement of the highway code, if a pedestrian is already on an unmarked crossing they have the right of way. A great one to whip out in such an occasion, always goes down really well with the driver of the car. 

[RandomGuy.]

23 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

One day somebody's going to get cleavered by a lorry, which come down the road with some authority and regularity, and it would serve them right.

This happens near my work, to a degree. 

Main road is quite narrow and one side has parking for the nearby shops, and folk regularly either just swing across the wrong side of the road into a space, and then start arsing about to get properly in, or just sit hanging out their space towards oncoming traffic. That's compounded my many (most blokes in suits in company cars/mothers with kids) who just swing their doors open no matter what traffic is coming.

Lorries now don't even bother stopping. One ripped a blokes BMW door clean off a few years ago, the guy was lucky he was in the car and not still standing outside. While another car sitting overhanging the lane just got piled into and forced into the car behind it.

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

Encountered some absolute oddball driving to work today - he was going about 40 on a 60 road and I overtook him, fair enough it was probably slightly tight but was still within the arrows to move back in as the lanes were going from two down to one. This seemed to really upset him and he sped right up directly behind me with his full beams on for the next few miles right until I turned off. There were numerous cars coming the other way as well who would’ve been dazzled. Very very odd behaviour. 

[coprolite]

One of my favourite pastimes on a long motorway journey is to time a nice slow overtake, preferably a double truck deal at exactly 70, for when i see a German car closing the distance in the right hand mirror way too fast. 

I've shared enough lifts with beamer driving colleagues to know that the level of seethe in the cockpit behind more than justifies any risk. 

I like to remember what my driving instructor told me about being able to see the whole front of the overtaken vehicle before pulling back in. Sometimes you can see them raging and shouting. I like that. 

Edited November 11, 2020 by coprolite

[TheScarf]

9 hours ago, coprolite said:

One of my favourite pastimes on a long motorway journey is to time a nice slow overtake, preferably a double truck deal at exactly 70, for when i see a German car closing the distance in the right hand mirror way too fast. 

I've shared enough lifts with beamer driving colleagues to know that the level of seethe in the cockpit behind more than justifies any risk. 

I like to remember what my driving instructor told me about being able to see the whole front of the overtaken vehicle before pulling back in. Sometimes you can see them raging and shouting. I like that. 

I did this on Sunday driving north from Inverness.

I have a German car, a VW Passat, but I'm quite a tame driver.  Anyway, I overtook a car doing about 65 between Inverness and the Tore roundabout, saw a white BMW 4 series estate come screaming up behind me, I was doing about 68 overtaking this other car and it took me about a minute to fully clear his car safely to be able to move back into the slow lane in front of him.

The Beamer driver was giving me all the v signs and mouthing all the swears under the sun as he roared past me and into the distance.  I just laughed and gave him the wanker gesture.  May have been an undercover rozzer car actually.

[Jacksgranda]

9 hours ago, coprolite said:

One of my favourite pastimes on a long motorway journey is to time a nice slow overtake, preferably a double truck deal at exactly 70, for when i see a German car closing the distance in the right hand mirror way too fast. 

I've shared enough lifts with beamer driving colleagues to know that the level of seethe in the cockpit behind more than justifies any risk. 

I like to remember what my driving instructor told me about being able to see the whole front of the overtaken vehicle before pulling back in. Sometimes you can see them raging and shouting. I like that. 

If you can't see the whole front of the vehicle before pulling in you're courting disaster. Seeing the whole front of the overtaken vehicle is a prerequisite.

I sometimes take my time about moving back into the lane after overtaking particularly if there is some header trying to get into my back seat. I'm a bad man, at times.

[Stellaboz]

I was taught to be able to see their front number plate, same thing I guess. 

I actually get a little nervous when people are up behind me whilst I'm overtaking. There are a lot of impatient c***s on the road over here who drive far faster and more power cars than mine and I've found myself slowly overtaking on a hill and feeling a bit of pressure. I hate clogging up the road and normally I'll just fire in behind someone in front until it's clear and flat again. 

[jamamafegan]

Why is that lorry drivers often flash their lights? Sometimes they do it to say hi to a fellow trucker but loads of times I’ve seen them doing it when either I or somebody else overtakes them and pulls back into the other lane. Then they flash their lights at you? Wtf is that all about.