Dee Man Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 16 hours ago, Snobot said: C*ntress’s on the road - was in front of a taxi, went through the lights at a major junction with roadworks just ahead. 2 lanes merging and I was just past the hatching, the taxi was in it but the traffic was clearly moving slowly and she would be clear of hatching in a matter of seconds. I let the car in front of me merge which seemed to provoke a massive heads gone explosion from said c*ntress, blasting on horn and flashing lights. The traffic then stopped at the roadworks. There is a busy right hand turn coming the other way. I, not unreasonably one would think, decided to leave a gap to allow oncoming traffic to turn right, rather than blocking the gap and causing a massive tailback in the other direction whilst the temporary traffic lights were at red in my direction. Cue a second major full beam horn blasting meltdown. Quite where she expected me to go or what advantage would be gained by advancing 10 yards and blocking the oncoming turning traffic in already stationary traffic is beyond me. So if the hatchet faced simpleton with the mirror sun-glasses and the 40 - a - day coupon, driving in the vicinity of Byres Road this afternoon is reading this (and not already succumbed to a massive coronary), you, madam, are indeed a total c*nt. Why did you not flip her the bird to tip her over the edge? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snobot Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Just now, Dee Man said: Why did you not flip her the bird to tip her over the edge? I started with a Partridge shrug after the first volley of abuse which seemed to upset her even more, followed by the bird as we went our separate ways at the next junction. An angry and disturbed individual. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 I like blowing them a kiss. Works especially well against permaseething white van gammons. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Heading out earlier, and where the blue line is in the pic, a car was sitting with its hazards on, causing traffic going either way to struggle to get past. I thought the car had broken down. No, the stupid fucking driver had parked there to go and buy a bottle of juice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted October 3, 2019 Author Share Posted October 3, 2019 Shout out to all the c***s that put their foot on the brake at traffic lights instead of using the handbrake thereby almost blinding the driver behind them with their brake lights. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 I'm doing a road trip through Spain just now. Spanish c***s on the road are waaa-aay worse than our c***s. I'm going to have nightmares about roundabouts in Valencia for years. Madrid tomorrow, hopefully they're good c***s on the road. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 The Spanish roundabout is one of life's great experiences. The ones with zebra crossings on every exit can be particularly entertaining. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 Coming back from the school this morning, I'm on the main road, indicating right, car on the left hand side at the crossroads, indicating right. As I slow down to turn right, she pulls out right in front of me. Total idiot, I managed to stop, lucky she wasn't written off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 Audi and BMW drivers.Every time every damn time they drive like an asshole? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 1 minute ago, D.A.F.C said: Audi and BMW drivers. Every time every damn time they drive like an asshole? Are you asking us or telling us? Also this has 100% been covered in this thread before as everybody knows that you have to pass a w****r test to get one. I've heard if you take one for a test drive and use the indicators they ban you from all BMW forecourts for life. Spoiler Unless you use the hazards to park inconsiderately when there is safe, practical parking within 100m. Then you're back in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 Are you asking us or telling us? Also this has 100% been covered in this thread before as everybody knows that you have to pass a w****r test to get one. I've heard if you take one for a test drive and use the indicators they ban you from all BMW forecourts for life. Spoiler Unless you use the hazards to park inconsiderately when there is safe, practical parking within 100m. Then you're back in. Can we add Merc drivers? I was cut up by one on the A9 last weekend dangerously close to the dual to single carriageway merge. An utterly pointless manoeuvre as he was then stuck behind a black Mazda doing 57 all the way from Aviemore to a few miles short of Inverness. He was tailgating the Mazda for most of that time. The Mazda trolled him superbly though, sitting at 70 in the outside lane of the dualler sections, and 55-57 in the single lane sections. It made for great viewing as the tubby c**t was continually gesticulating at the Mazda driver. Magnificent. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 1 minute ago, Day of the Lords said: Can we add Merc drivers? I was cut up by one on the A9 last weekend dangerously close to the dual to single carriageway merge. An utterly pointless manoeuvre as he was then stuck behind a black Mazda doing 57 all the way from Aviemore to a few miles short of Inverness. He was tailgating the Mazda for most of that time. The Mazda trolled him superbly though, sitting at 70 in the outside lane of the dualler sections, and 55-57 in the single lane sections. It made for great viewing as the tubby c**t was continually gesticulating at the Mazda driver. Magnificent. From what I've experienced there are a large percentage of Merc drivers that are knobs, but nothing compared to BMWs and Audis. Almost exclusively wankers. Similar to your story, you often see folk overtaking lorries etc. between Ellon and Peterhead - an utterly pointless manoeuvre as you get maybe a minute at 60/70 on the single carriage before catching up with the next lorry. It's like 15 miles. Also find it hard to understand why anybody wants to get to Peterhead that much. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 15 minutes ago, deej said: From what I've experienced there are a large percentage of Merc drivers that are knobs, but nothing compared to BMWs and Audis. Almost exclusively wankers. Similar to your story, you often see folk overtaking lorries etc. between Ellon and Peterhead - an utterly pointless manoeuvre as you get maybe a minute at 60/70 on the single carriage before catching up with the next lorry. It's like 15 miles. Also find it hard to understand why anybody wants to get to Peterhead that much. To get away from Ellon. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 Are you asking us or telling us? Also this has 100% been covered in this thread before as everybody knows that you have to pass a w****r test to get one. I've heard if you take one for a test drive and use the indicators they ban you from all BMW forecourts for life. Spoiler Unless you use the hazards to park inconsiderately when there is safe, practical parking within 100m. Then you're back in. It's just annoys me. If I hear loud revving when I'm walking down the street I play a game in my head of bmw/Audi heads or tails. Sometimes it's a boy racer or a Subaru.I think theres a c**t mode button on the dash somewhere? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy boo Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 It's just annoys me. If I hear loud revving when I'm walking down the street I play a game in my head of bmw/Audi heads or tails. Sometimes it's a boy racer or a Subaru.I think theres a c**t mode button on the dash somewhere?Don't diss the Subaru driver. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 The hate (envy) of the German prestige marques is strong today 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 The hate (envy) of the German prestige marques is strong today [emoji1787]Tbf I don't think they're "prestige" vehicles. They're only classified as such by their owners who can't afford genuine prestige motors. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strichener Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 7 minutes ago, MixuFixit said: Nobody says it about folk driving flasher VW models tbh Audi is the flashier VW models. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 The Audi A7 is prestige. The Audi A5 and below is for people who can't afford a proper Audi but still want the badge to pretend they've made it in life. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 2 minutes ago, Cerberus said: The Audi A7 is prestige. The Audi A5 and below is for people who can't afford a proper Audi but still want the badge to pretend they've made it in life. Just assumed every Audi driver was either ticked up to their eyeballs or a company car. Surely if you had big bucks to spend on a car you wouldn't want the car every 2 Bob loanee has. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.