Northboy Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Some years ago I had several visits to India with work and saw some of the worst/strangest jobs imaginable. We visited a factory where they were building an extension and saw an old woman sitting beside two buckets. One was full of old, rusty, bent nails and her job was to hammer them straight and put them in the second bucket. On another visit we went to see a client in an old office block with a lift up to the relevant floor. The lift was a metal box with just enough room for 4 people to stand including an attendant whose job was to stay in the lift and press the buttons for visitors. Problem was that the temperature was over 40 degrees making the lift like an oven. I suspect the attendant melted away eventually. Also saw my dream job in India. Having lunch in a restaurant there was a guy wandering around with one of those battery powered tennis racket things. His job was to swat any flies or bugs so every now and then there was a 'zap' noise as he got one. I could do that all day long! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I spent a horrific summer in the brickworks at Whitecross - gone now. There was a process whereby flatbed trollies on rails would appear from a kiln with a single base layer of slabs on them. Sometimes they'd be whole slabs but often broken which made the job a bit more of a c**t to do. Before the trollies reached the folk stacking proper bricks on to the base layer, I had to lift all the slabs and sweep out the sand which had accrued in the small gaps between them and then ensure they went back just as they'd arrived. It wasn't killing cows all morning but it was spirit sapping stuff. And the nick of the bogs - it was important never to need a shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I’ve only ever done 5 jobs all told. 3 of which have been with my current employer, the other two were part time while at school / studying. None have been terrible. Feel like I’ve missed out somewhat not being able to kill cows, throw about frozen fish or juggle couches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Sandwhich factory used to do orders for Celtic, Hibs, Motherwell, Strathclyde police etc so they were often tampered with. Some woman we all hated used to get a kilo tub of some sandwhich spread mix every week which lay in despatch till she finished her shift. We used to blow our noses in the mix, spit in it, put pubes in it the lot. Then we found out later she was making up pieces for disabled kids or something [emoji20] Even if you hated someone why would you do that? It just lessens you as a person.I think you are a definite worst-c**t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I lasted one day on the ice cream van as a kid. As an adult I lasted 3 days in the Motorola factory on the production line. During this short time I was promoted from putting stickers on the back of the phones to dropping them one at a time on to a rubber mat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marsh Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 A recruitment agency sent me to a job next to Central Station in Glasgow for an admin job, which turned out to be copying and pasting people's information from an excel spreadsheet onto an in-house database. The "team leader" who showed me how to do it was absolutely astounded I was able to it first time, which was an indication of the type of folk who also worked there. Some guy started talking about how he took a pellet gun to his neighbour's door cos she had too many Christmas decorations up, which was my cue to make some half arsed excuse about taking my P45 round to the recruitment agency and heading up the road after 45 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I've probably posted this before, but I had a temping job after university working in the admin department of a road haulage company. It was the easiest and most boring job imaginable, and like Marsh mentioned, they were amazed that I was able to type a number in a system and staple two bits of paper together with such aplomb and alacrity. So much so that they extended my contract and promoted me ... my new job consisted of sitting in a small windowless store room with 10,000 numbered invoices in boxes piled to the ceiling. My job - which took the best part of the week - was to put them all in numerical order. I was a broken man after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Offloading bags of flour from a huge trailer and dispensing spectacles are two of the worst jobs I've ever had. Only plus sides were being able to joyride the big hyster forklift and the optician we had at the time was stunning. Weegie though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 10 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: We used to dream of only carrying one couch. In my day up at half three carrried ten couches down pit filled them with coal and repeated it a thousand times before lunch. On Christmas Day we were allowed to sing jingle bells eating dead canaries. Good times. You must have been spitting feathers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 10 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: We used to dream of only carrying one couch. In my day up at half three carrried ten couches down pit filled them with coal and repeated it a thousand times before lunch. On Christmas Day we were allowed to sing jingle bells eating dead canaries. Good times. Aye, but tell that to kids nowadays, they won't believe you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 1 hour ago, NorthernJambo said: I’ve only ever done 5 jobs all told. 3 of which have been with my current employer, the other two were part time while at school / studying. None have been terrible. Feel like I’ve missed out somewhat not being able to kill cows, throw about frozen fish or juggle couches. How about killing couches, throwing about cows or juggling frozen fish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 How about killing couches, throwing about cows or juggling frozen fish? How could I forget my summer as the couch killing, cow tipping, fish juggling apprentice?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Saintee Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I've found a picture of TCK on a previous job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Imagine actually spitting or wiping snorters in food that you’re preparing. That’s fucking disgusting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTG_03 Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Worked in a fish yard when I was in my teens. It was back breaking stuff, my job was to pick up the pans of fish when they were full and take them to be weighed.Around 20kg each time. Nobody ever put snot/pubes in the boxes, OFTW behaviour regardless of age.Did witness a boy bite the heed aff an injured but living seagull.Good times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 The Chlamydia Kid goes golfing: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Electronics factories in high volume was pretty much a living hell at times. Hour after hour of machine noise, heat and targets. Praying for a machine to break down and daydreaming were the highlights. Im glad I was an apprentice and got to move around every few months, there were some who sat at the same desk doing the same thing day after day for years. Surely at some point you say f**k this and join nightschool or train to do something better? They seemed institutionalised and almost loved it. It scared me a bit and was great motivation to get as many qualifications as I could. See any wide-o ned at school, put them on a production line for a week and see if their attitude changes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 5 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said: Electronics factories in high volume was pretty much a living hell at times. Can't turn them down at that price. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Some woman we all hated used to get a kilo tub of some sandwhich spread mix every week which lay in despatch till she finished her shift. We used to blow our noses in the mix, spit in it, put pubes in it the lot. That a fukin new low for you; even beats the herpes you gave your missus by cheating on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 On 09/10/2017 at 21:18, The Chlamydia Kid said: Sandwhich factory used to do orders for Celtic, Hibs, Motherwell, Strathclyde police etc so they were often tampered with. Some woman we all hated used to get a kilo tub of some sandwhich spread mix every week which lay in despatch till she finished her shift. We used to blow our noses in the mix, spit in it, put pubes in it the lot. Then we found out later she was making up pieces for disabled kids or something 23 hours ago, The Chlamydia Kid said: These college boys don’t know 9 minutes ago, The Chlamydia Kid said: A new low? Of all the things I’ve done wrong in my life I won’t be losing sleep over spitting in a sandwhich mix decades ago... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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