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Stupid things you believed when you were a child


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My sister's pal believed you had to hold your breath going through the Clyde Tunnel due to a lack of air pressure. That's what her dad told her. I discovered this fact driving them through the tunnel when she was in fact 16.

I still do that. I've always been aware that I don't have to but it's just something I've always done. Apart from the time I was behind a slow moving hearse. If I'd done it then, I'd probably have been in need of it by the time I got to the other side!

 

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 If you didn't breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth all the time  that you only used half of your lungs. The half that you weren't using would shrivel up and die. 

 

I was told this by my primary 3 teacher and was absolutely terrified. My old man was raging when he found out as I was a total mess at bedtime for weeks.

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I'm pretty sure I believed this one till early into adulthood, but when listening to the news or watching Crimewatch... they would say "A 38 year old man is helping police with their enquiries", and I always thought it meant some public-spirited chap had wandered in off the street and volunteered his services to help crack the crime. 

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If ylu crossed your eyes and the wind changed they would stay like that.

If you said "Green Lady (5 times) I do not believe in you" in the toilets at primary she would appear. Never had the balls to do it alone.

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13 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

If you said "Green Lady (5 times) I do not believe in you" in the toilets at primary she would appear. Never had the balls to do it alone.

Maybe the people who did the horror film "Candyman" went to the same primary school as you. 

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I genuinely thought those 'mince pies' people have at Christmas had actual mince in them.

I didnt actually know till I was in my 30's they really contained pureed black fruits and raisins etc in a sickly dark sauce, tried one and it was seriously fucking rank so I hadnt really missed out 

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  • The world used to be in black and white (obviously basing this on old films and newsreels)
  • When someone was killed in a film, they died in real life
  • When you bought a new house and moved, the people whose house you moved into always moved into your old house


Snap on the Film and World in Black in White Fronts.

We're clearly a pair of idiots!
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23 minutes ago, scottmcleanscontacts said:

Snap on the Film and World in Black in White Fronts.

We're clearly a pair of idiots!

 

My Dad told me it was impossible to buy anything (from cars to clothes) in any colour but black and/or white until the early 1950's.

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When we were in first year, a guy in the year above told us at the end of first year all the guys were given a homosexuality test by the school nurse.
First we would be shown scud, if we didn't get wood, we were to have a cold spoon held against the shaft, if we still didn't get wood, we were to have our shafts jabbed with a sharp pin, if we still didn't get wood, we were gay.
We believed him!

He sounds like the gay one tbh.
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When I was in Primary 6 we believed that gay men rubbed their cock together to have sex.

 

We also believed "come" was green and came out a woman's fanny. This belief was reinforced by the fact that a boy called Stuart used to make pretend vaginas by stuffing moss into holes in the playground wall. We would then take turns in sticking our fingers in the hole to feel what the wall's fanny was like.

 

 

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Guest Moomintroll


I remember Billy Connolly making that joke and another about "Gladly the cross eyed bear."

Far away on a hoo, there's an old rugged cross.
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11 hours ago, Bert Raccoon said:

Killer Clowns driving about in a transit van. It got to a point where we were convinced we could see them sitting at their van on the Larkhall viaduct and the jannie carried a large chain in case they came to the school.

Did the Jannie inspect your willie and bum if he was in the lavvies? I doubted this procedure, but he was a stickler for the rules.

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