The Worst Posters in P&B History (2017 Edition)

[Bobby Skidmarks]

[Stellaboz]

I love 8mile.

[The OP]

[Venti]

That's some achievement from Bennett. Finishing ahead of a guy who flung faeces at a fella.

[Pars fan]

[Benjamin_Nevis]

It'd be funny as f**k if it was Big Gus tbh.

[Brother Blades]

That's some achievement from Bennett. Finishing ahead of a guy who flung faeces at a fella.

Or didn't, as the case may be.....

[Miguel Sanchez]

Before we reveal the worst poster in P&B history it's time for the honourable mention count, where those who didn't make the cut but fully deserve a mention.

@RadgerTheBadger, a shite version of 8Mile with added racism, Radge the tadge was banned once for comments about asylum seekers and for some reason was allowed back. Unable to deal with the Hibbee #flamegang being the top boys and not fitting in he tried to get a PM/dotting gang on the go to sort them out. Mercifully stopped posting, hopefully permanently.

@banana returned from one of his frequent sabbaticals and started posting suspiciously soon after voting her had closed. A professional troll who manages to be completely unbelieveable on every subject he tries to troll about, his usual schtick is saying he hates women but in the past year the rise of Donald Trump and his 4chan personality cult has led to banana becoming emboldened, with a more libertarian slant on the obvious lies he posts. He'd be infuriating if it wasn't so easy to laugh at him.

@Sergeant Wilson manages to be a more accomplished version of Zen Archer and mozzamozza's worst qualities combined, with only the odd post suggesting he's actually a real person to redeem him. Boring, mostly.

@Donnyarb aka Lichtie4life, aka the puddle drinker, L4L is famed for stooping to the ground in a drunken stupor during the P&B sub crawl, where nobody liked him, and lapping at a puddle to wash the taste of sick out of his mouth. And for subsequently bombarding the forum with more shite aliases than magee, with a mixture of trolling, racism and idiocy. Seems to be cut from the same cloth as The Calcium Kid, as he seems very informed about boxing. Lionel Lichtie was funny but fortunately, Lichtie For Life Will Never Always Die.

@No8. Racist Rangers supporting taxi driver got the bullet a long time ago, leaving benny and kinky as the only staunch posters remaining. Imagine being worse enough than those two to actually get banned.

@FuzzyAffro Quite possible the angriest man I've ever seen, even moreso than Shawfield Aggro or pccabe. Spent the year post-referendum with rage-induced typos all over the shop, barely able to stop himself from having serious heart problems. I forget if this is the guy who thinks Harry Souttar is going to be Scotland's leading centre-half for the next decade.

Special mention needs to be made about the assortment of unionist trolls we had flooding the place back in September 2014. Wallopers, to a man.

The final and most prominent honourable mention however has to go to @Div, fella. Whether it's changing users' names in the filter to make fun of them (because they make fun of St. Mirren), whether it's P&B's frequent dropouts (whenever St. Mirren lose), whether it's deleting half the board with calamitous software changes, there's no poster who has the influence on us all that he does. And who could forget this sorry episode?

No votes for any of them. I'll let you decide if you made an error or not. I'll also let you ponder at the horror of a Mumsnet Friday night drunk thread.

[Brother Blades]

Mumsnet was great! Big Gus performed well, but sparkling brook just outshone the fat pie guy.

[Granny Danger]

22 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Before we reveal the worst poster in P&B history it's time for the honourable mention count, where those who didn't make the cut but fully deserve a mention.

@RadgerTheBadger, a shite version of 8Mile with added racism, Radge the tadge was banned once for comments about asylum seekers and for some reason was allowed back. Unable to deal with the Hibbee #flamegang being the top boys and not fitting in he tried to get a PM/dotting gang on the go to sort them out. Mercifully stopped posting, hopefully permanently.

@banana returned from one of his frequent sabbaticals and started posting suspiciously soon after voting her had closed. A professional troll who manages to be completely unbelieveable on every subject he tries to troll about, his usual schtick is saying he hates women but in the past year the rise of Donald Trump and his 4chan personality cult has led to banana becoming emboldened, with a more libertarian slant on the obvious lies he posts. He'd be infuriating if it wasn't so easy to laugh at him.

@Sergeant Wilson manages to be a more accomplished version of Zen Archer and mozzamozza's worst qualities combined, with only the odd post suggesting he's actually a real person to redeem him. Boring, mostly.

@Donnyarb aka Lichtie4life, aka the puddle drinker, L4L is famed for stooping to the ground in a drunken stupor during the P&B sub crawl, where nobody liked him, and lapping at a puddle to wash the taste of sick out of his mouth. And for subsequently bombarding the forum with more shite aliases than magee, with a mixture of trolling, racism and idiocy. Seems to be cut from the same cloth as The Calcium Kid, as he seems very informed about boxing. Lionel Lichtie was funny but fortunately, Lichtie For Life Will Never Always Die.

@No8. Racist Rangers supporting taxi driver got the bullet a long time ago, leaving benny and kinky as the only staunch posters remaining. Imagine being worse enough than those two to actually get banned.

@FuzzyAffro Quite possible the angriest man I've ever seen, even moreso than Shawfield Aggro or pccabe. Spent the year post-referendum with rage-induced typos all over the shop, barely able to stop himself from having serious heart problems. I forget if this is the guy who thinks Harry Souttar is going to be Scotland's leading centre-half for the next decade.

Special mention needs to be made about the assortment of unionist trolls we had flooding the place back in September 2014. Wallopers, to a man.

The final and most prominent honourable mention however has to go to @Div, fella. Whether it's changing users' names in the filter to make fun of them (because they make fun of St. Mirren), whether it's P&B's frequent dropouts (whenever St. Mirren lose), whether it's deleting half the board with calamitous software changes, there's no poster who has the influence on us all that he does. And who could forget this sorry episode?

No votes for any of them. I'll let you decide if you made an error or not. I'll also let you ponder at the horror of a Mumsnet Friday night drunk thread.

You’re being selective by missing out @Miguel Sanchez an absolute tosser who is willing to give up hours of his time to garner favour from like minded sad sacks and get a few green dots.  He’s destined to live a sad, short and miserable life.  

[Miguel Sanchez]

4 minutes ago, Granny Danger said:

You’re being selective by missing out @Miguel Sanchez an absolute tosser who is willing to give up hours of his time to garner favour from like minded sad sacks and get a few green dots.  He’s destined to live a sad, short and miserable life.  

Trying to garner favour from strangers on the internet is much less tragic than being a grandfather and offering out square-goes.

Pipe down you deranged old walloper before you break your hip falling down the stairs.

[Granny Danger]

Just now, Miguel Sanchez said:

Trying to garner favour from strangers on the internet is much less tragic than being a grandfather and offering out square-goes.

Pipe down you deranged old walloper before you break your hip falling down the stairs.

Tbh I’d far rather be me than you.  You’d be lying if you said the same thing.

PS good drawing, really brought a smile to my face; imagine taking the time to do it though.

[throbber]

Tbh I’d far rather be me than you.  You’d be lying if you said the same thing.
PS good drawing, really brought a smile to my face; imagine taking the time to do it though.

I would love to have a star shaped penis like that.

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

5 minutes ago, Granny Danger said:

 

PS good drawing, 

An uncanny likeness. IMO.

[Granny Danger]

Just now, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

An uncanny likeness. IMO.

It’s a look your missus likes pal.

[Granny Danger]

2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

 

You’re surely not playing the ‘attention seeking on P&B card’ are you?

[Miguel Sanchez]

Hiya @RadgerTheBadger, hiya pal. Come take your abuse like a man.

[throbber]

Was Fuzzy Afro not outed as a Supras alias?

[Miguel Sanchez]

The fight between second and first was closer than you think. 117 points to 121. Both verified simpletons. Both with a track record of orchestrated, deliberate dotting. Both immortalised in MS Paint drawings depicting their tales of abject fantasy. Both with a questionable posting history regarding children.

Both terrible.

Both shite trolls.

Both net losses to P&B.

Both with enough testimonials to fill a book with.

Both Rangers fans.

"Self explanatory. Consistently thick, epitome of an arse cheek fan and really has nothing to offer in terms of football discussion."

"Tedious as f**k. Shitebags away from every question asked and offers nothing but stupid one liners that aren't even funny."

"Twat"

"Freak. *** freak."

"obvious reasons"

"Thick as shit, ignorant and a completely pointless individual."

"No explanation necessary, offers literally nothing to the forum."

"Loses out only due to the spectacular levels of dirge fired out repeated by HB, spends his life posting snidey one liners, is the only grown man to use "lol" in almost every single post, has been banned because he contain his obsession over child abuse and was in a tragic co-dependent "greenie" relationship with the highly dodgy The_Tedi. A perma-ban is long overdue.  "

"What does he actually offer, other than green dotting his wee cronies? c***s worse than Fritzl, probably does dip his weans too tbh."

"utterly pointless poster. Adds nothing to a debate by continually playing the man and not the ball then runs away when challenged on anything. Lives in a run down B&B. "

"no words needed"

"Proves why forced sterilisation isn't all bad. "

"For oh, so many reasons. Although in fairness he has provided a lot of hilarity over the years as well, not least in his inablility to keep a lie straight in his head. "

"a blinkered bore but Vicky the Viking took the biscuit"

"All the stereotypes of a rangers fan rolled into one person"

"I've been to Ibrox more times than he is. Sitting in his bedsit throwing out whatabouterys left right and centre. Seems to be like a lost wee puppy without his backup dotting buddies to save him since one got banned for being a beast."

"You're talking about a guy here who got suspended from this website for mocking children being sexually abused.

A guy who argued with a site moderator here whilst pretending to be a female viking who lived in a guest house. (ffs )

Yep, a guy who edited a post about the Ibrox disaster then denied it, trying to blame someone else."

Yes, despite his attempts to butter me up over the last few entries the worst poster in P&B history is @bennett.

A Rangers fan who barely if ever sets foot inside Ibrox, bennett has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. His posts about football range from bland to eye-rolling. His posts about things he tenuously links to football are horrific. A recent example of this is him saying he doesn't want Derek McInnes to be the new Rangers manager, where he blatantly spends his time trying to convince himself of that as much as anyone else. His posts about football go beyond the act of pure trolling, as they're always in this affected weak and reserved tone, like someone who's had their legs blown off is trying to mock you for having cramp.

This isn't helped of course by the team he spends most of his time posting about. Of course he shites it every time Rangers lose, making his eventual return to the board all the more prominent and risible. When chief ***-wrangler Kinky starts calling him "Ben," trying to legitimise anything they say, you feel the bile rising up in your throat.

bennett's crowning glory on P&B came with an episode magee would be ashamed of. Go back to the summer of 2013. Not a very good time for me, but by f**k, bennett, what did you do?

Long story short.

I split up with my partner recently and moved out into a B&B as my own house is rented out at the moment, so right now i'm searching for a short term house to rent until i can get my own back. Should have something sorted out this week hopefully.

Annway was in the lounge watching telly last nigh, on a few websites courtesy of the free wifi and was asked what website this was and we had a chat about it. End result was a new member.

Now if any normal person had noticed the IP issue they would have sent a PM asking for an explanation but no not Keith. He had to do his 'hardman thing' and try to be a 'big' man. A little common sense and courtesy appears to be lost on him.

Keith has two choices here, he either admits he's f**ked it up (somethin he should be used to by now) or he bans me for 'using another account' which is against board rules afterall.

Oh, benny. This was immortalised in one of P&B's classic Paint documentations, and if anyone can find it I'd really appreciate it.

I think what sets bennett apart from the other top entries is the volume of what he posts. That the majority of it about Rangers is obviously held against him, but you get about one post for every thousand that doesn't make you want to hate him. He's his own worst enemy and is never helped by the company he keeps. Tedi had a habit of green dotting everything bennett posted. His count is about 2000 higher than it should be, so to rival Rudolph Hucker shows you how much hate he's managed to generate in so many people. Receiving as many as 13 first place votes here confirms that.

Intellectually bankrupt, morally devoid, perpetual, inescapable, terrible, The Worst; bennett.

Congratulations.

Edited December 2, 2017 by Miguel Sanchez

[YER SISTERS YER MAW]

Out of all the wallopers and nutjobs on this forum, to be voted thee worst takes some doing. Hats off to Bennett.