The Worst Posters in P&B History (2017 Edition)

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

So basically this is a thread created so that users can abuse others behind their backs including making accusations about mental health. A real low for an otherwise decent forum. I didn't realise there were so many qualified psychiatrists on here also. No prizes for guessing who said it. You really are dano1

The mentals are some of the best posters on the forum, especially on Sundays, so don't worry about it. Be proud.

[Sweet Pete]

Fife is strange.

Ftfy

[Jmothecat2]

I'm incredibly proud of the strong representation from the Politics forum. There's only about 10 of us active in that sub arguing the same inane shite every night but it's good to see that we fucking hate each other enough to block vote each other in this poll.

Represent.

[The OP]

If you haven't lived in a town you don't know what you're missing. A Greggs, a chippy and at least two ethnicities of takeaway readily available. If fashion is your thing, the whole smorgasbord from sportswear, to work shirts to granny knitwear are available on the high street. While you're there be sure to enjoy the fact at least one bank is still open. Take in the street lighting, the buses and brag to your friends from at least one functioning phone box.

Being a townie is a glorious existence.

[Jmothecat2]

If you haven't lived in a town you don't know what you're missing. A Greggs, a chippy and at least two ethnicities of takeaway readily available. If fashion is your thing, the whole smorgasbord from sportswear, to work shirts to granny knitwear are available on the high street. While you're there be sure to enjoy the fact at least one bank is still open. Take in the street lighting, the buses and brag to your friends from at least one functioning phone box.
Being a townie is a glorious existence.

Taking me back to my youth. Never going back.

[PB 4.2]

4 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Hey apparently I have more time to myself today than I anticipated.

Tied at 32nd with 8 points including a first place vote we have two users, both of whom have fair wound up the P&B faithful. I can only fully attest to one's worthiness of inclusion, but here we are:

"I just don't get it- a serial fantasist who seems to have been adopted as some kind of loveable japester by a section of the forum. Also ruins Scotland threads with his terrible opinions on football. NB Anyone who seems to post only about international football is definitely a weirdo"

Why yes, it's @perthshirebell! Or @PERTHSHIREBELL- two! Or @perthshirebellsmum! Or @Pearbuyerbell! Or @PB 4.2! Or whichever one of his subsequent dozen accounts he's on now. A man who seems to have become a P&B meme by being from Perth, from saying he drives a Kia Cee'd and saying that a woman named Moira left him and ruined his life, his most recent iteration spends most of his time going over the top in criticism of cyclists in an apparent attempt to be funny. I think the worst thing I could say about PB is that I get the distinct impression that everything he posts is fabrication and that it's nowhere near as imaginative as he thinks it is. That's before you even get to the mention of Scotland team threads where he occasionally pops up with some scorching takes like naming Stuart Armstrong king of Scotland, or something similar.

Elsewhere, consider these quotes:

"pathetic wee whinging townie victim boy." 

"What an absolute victim of life. Bullying folk is shite, but this c**t probably merits private emails getting sent round the office, a total fucking wet blanket if there ever was one."

"I've come to the conclusion he deserves all the 'bullying' he gets from work colleagues. I suspect he's got paranoia and other significant mental health issues but his sob stories do my head in."

The most interesting thing I've learned while running this thread is that Dunfermline fans are apparently called "townies" by rival fans as an insult. The notion that people living in something resembling civilisation is something to hold against them is hilarious to me, but if @D.A.F.C's years-long performance on the Evil Neighbours thread is anything to go by he's probably traumatised by it. If you don't fancy reading all of those posts, read the first few pages then read the last few pages. Years apart, exactly the same. Imagine DA Baracus without the jokes, and here we are. Awful stuff. Now if he explains why he made a new account instead of @DAFC he'll redeem himself slightly in my eyes, but for the time being you've deservedly voted him here.

 

When I received the Pre-warning PM from Miguel this morning to say I would be tonight's entry my jaw hit the top button of my polo shirt.   My earliest thought - inspired by the strong leadership of Prime Minister Rajoy - was to declare the vote null and void, but after cancelling work I decided to look for the positives.   

1.   What you see from the attached names is the evolution of a poster from a boy of a poster to a poster boy.   From a poster red dotted more frequently than  Lisa Cuddy's Andrex during rag week to a green machine with posting goals, focus and a clear direction of travel.  

2.   Next I looked back at the Best posters in history thread - where I came 21st.   Which gives me a net approval rating of +11.   Revisiting Marshy's thread after chewing my way through Miguel's write up also provided me with a new found love of well written English.  

3.   I've gained a new friend in @D.A.F.C.    Looking at his reputation:output ratio I've been pedestaled alongside an excellent forum member.   

4.   Then I thought about what 8 points really means.   Well for starters it's 5 more points than I hold on my full UK driving Licence.    We're moving into frost season, my favourite season on the roads.  I've got some Hankook's on the front with a full 8 mm of tread.    It's gonna be slippy out there for the angry overdraft-merchants pedaling their way to work!   

5.   Lastly I feel the need to say that I wish to distance myself from the nasty vitriolic comments I received.    Bullying is never acceptable.    Behind every username there is a user with a name, and we need to respect each others opinions.   I've been open and candid with this forum about my split with Moira, my five-figure income, the need to sell the Lexus, my passion for road safety, and my patriotism for Perth and the surrounding Shire.    I've embraced the forum with complete sincerity and commitment and I'll continue to strive to be an asset to the P & B community.   

[The Grass Is Greener.]

#perthshire 

[Ira Gaines]

Actually laughed at the fourth point.

[NotThePars]

Good post PB. You're a real credit to the site and your rehabilitation facilitated by Swampy was the only truly good deed ever done by him.

[Bert Raccoon]

1 hour ago, John Lambies Doos said:

 

Resignation imminent

 

 

[throbber]

PB also bumped his own appreciation thread a few months back, a real top guy.

[PB 4.2]

16 minutes ago, NotThePars said:

Good post PB. You're a real credit to the site and your rehabilitation facilitated by Swampy was the only truly good deed ever done by him.

I'm a fan of your work, but also a fan of Swampy's, a good egg imo but a flawed egg.   I wouldn't be surprised if he drove west to Las Vegas to hand out juice and biscuits to those needing help, but got the munchies mid-route, turning home with an empty wagon.   

Edited October 2, 2017 by PB 4.2

[DeeTillEhDeh]

When I received the Pre-warning PM from Miguel this morning to say I would be tonight's entry my jaw hit the top button of my polo shirt.   My earliest thought - inspired by the strong leadership of Prime Minister Rajoy - was to declare the vote null and void, but after cancelling work I decided to look for the positives.   

1.   What you see from the attached names is the evolution of a poster from a boy of a poster to a poster boy.   From a poster red dotted more frequently than  Lisa Cuddy's Andrex during rag week to a green machine with posting goals, focus and a clear direction of travel.  

2.   Next I looked back at the Best posters in history thread - where I came 21st.   Which gives me a net approval rating of +11.   Revisiting Marshy's thread after chewing my way through Miguel's write up also provided me with a new found love of well written English.  

3.   I've gained a new friend in @D.A.F.C.    Looking at his reputation:output ratio I've been pedestaled alongside an excellent forum member.   

4.   Then I thought about what 8 points really means.   Well for starters it's 5 more points than I hold on my full UK driving Licence.    We're moving into frost season, my favourite season on the roads.  I've got some Hankook's on the front with a full 8 mm of tread.    It's gonna be slippy out there for the angry overdraft-merchants pedaling their way to work!   

5.   Lastly I feel the need to say that I wish to distance myself from the nasty vitriolic comments I received.    Bullying is never acceptable.    Behind every username there is a user with a name, and we need to respect each others opinions.   I've been open and candid with this forum about my split with Moira, my five-figure income, the need to sell the Lexus, my passion for road safety, and my patriotism for Perth and the surrounding Shire.    I've embraced the forum with complete sincerity and commitment and I'll continue to strive to be an asset to the P & B community.   

tl;dr

[Menzel]

The post above really reminds me how much I hate people who use the quote function to post entire posts, in order to add their nonsense one or two word opinions. 

[D.A.F.C]

13 minutes ago, Menzel said:

The post above really reminds me how much I hate people who use the quote function to post entire posts, in order to add their nonsense one or two word opinions. 

Yup

 

[JakeSAFC]

Having read through most of this topic it has to be said that this John Lambie Doos is an attention seeking loser.

[Im_Rodger]

Used to dislike The Grass is Greener. That day is far in the past now.

His single handed dismantling of JLD is tremendous viewing.

[Dominique Malonga]

The post above really reminds me how much I hate people who use the quote function to post entire posts, in order to add their nonsense one or two word opinions. 

Totally agree.

[Im_Rodger]

Resignation imminent

Aye from you ya big roaster hahahhhahahaha

Weren’t you meant to resign if the SNP got less than 50 seats in Westminster from the most recent election or something?

[welshbairn]

2 minutes ago, Im_Rodger said:

Used to dislike The Grass is Greener. That day is far in the past now.

His single handed dismantling of JLD is tremendous viewing.

 

Give up, you won't get a mention.