Mid to late 20's existential crisis

[BFTD]

Do the writing thing because you enjoy it; don't bother trying to work out if you'll get any money out of the end result. Even if you never make a bean it'll still feel like you accomplished something when you're an auld fart, and maybe you'll have made a few other folk happy along the way too.

Just keep trying new things and you'll be fine; eventually you'll drift into something satisfying that'll pay the bills. Sometimes you can find yourself in a situation that would have horrified you, only to discover you're actually quite happy. Life can be strange like that.

[BallochSonsFan]

No.

Knew early on that my time at uni would be shite. Took a crap job at PC World after graduation until I joined the civil service. I was 23. Closest I got to a crisis was buying a Jag X type when I was in my late 20s.

20s were pretty shite and dull TBH.

[Alan Stubbs]

Are we all 26 or 27 on here?

Don't have a mortgage, wife, kids etc and quite happy about that. I suppose pishing money away in rent is a sare yin but not the end of the world. I am a chronic procrastinator and the only concern each year older causes me is facing up to the fact that there's shit I've been planning to do for too long now. In a way that's a good thing because I've reached the point of knowing a good, stable career is firmly in my grasp and that I need to the other shit I want to do right now or never. The fast march on 30 has motivated me to make a lot more progress on these things in the last year or so than in the 5 before that.

But no, the lack of picket fences and 2.4 kids does not in anyway appeal for a good few years yet. I've a mate who's got married/bought a house recently and now all of a sudden he's suggesting activities that don't even involve football, drinking, gambling etc

[Miguel Sanchez]

13 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

Aged 31, Wife , kids , mortgage free , drink irn bru .

Back to old job I wanted a change from.

Apart from the job life is fine.

Could do with being better at football manager :'(

You're 31? I thought you were like 45.

Ed - to preclude anyone from pointing out the year in the username (although he's quoted me as I'm typing), that'll show you how firmly I made this judgement

[8MileBU]

Aged 31, Wife , kids , mortgage free , drink irn bru .

Back to old job I wanted a change from.

Apart from the job life is fine.

Could do with being better at football manager :'(

Mortgage free at 31? Do you rent a place or did you inherit a tidy sum?

[CountyFan]

Turned 29 on Friday and it does sting a wee bit but f**k it.

I have a great job that I completely wing every day. My greatest fear is that I'm going to get completely found out, although by every objective measure I'm doing ok. More and more I'm finding that my life revolves around work and that's dangerous and I need to nip it in the bud pronto. 

[tintax]

I'm going through it now. I just turned 25 a week ago. I'm in a job that I hate but I can't see a way out of it. I just don't fancy any of the jobs advertised, maybe it's me being picky but I don't want to move from one shit job to another. 

I still live at home with my parents, no chance of moving out at the moment. With the salary I'm on I couldn't afford to rent a shed, let alone a flat. 

It is difficult when you see others moving on, buying houses, cars, getting married, having kids but as people keep telling me my time will come! 

[ICTChris]

I don't rent. I rent out a place also to a friend.
Yeah being a only child I inherited money from my grandparents when they passed away. So invested in a house and another house this year I bought half of with my parents to then rent out.
Yet I have no career :-(

Sounds like you are building a fine career as a slum landlord.

[8MileBU]

I don't rent. I rent out a place also to a friend.
Yeah being a only child I inherited money from my grandparents when they passed away. So invested in a house and another house this year I bought half of with my parents to then rent out.
Yet I have no career :-(

Wise investments. Well played. [emoji122]

[GingerSaint]

I'd rather kill myself than go back to living with my parents. Don't know how anyone can be 25 and still at home. Get your shit together.

[paranoid android]

4 minutes ago, GingerSaint said:

I'd rather kill myself than go back to living with my parents. Don't know how anyone can be 25 and still at home. Get your shit together.

Me too - your parents are a fucking nightmare. 

[Michael W]

3 minutes ago, tintax said:

 

It is difficult when you see others moving on, buying houses, cars, getting married, having kids but as people keep telling me my time will come! 

The reality here is that for everyone you see painting a rosy picture, there will be another in a miserable relationship or fighting a custody battle with a dick of an ex boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. Comparing yourself to others, particularly from carefully-filtered social media posts, is not a good idea. 

My own moment of jealousy came from someone I was at school with buying a fairly expensive car whilst I'd just graduated and barely had a pot to piss in. He had a job that was just over minimum wage and I was utterly fuming about this wondering why I bothered. Turns out a relative died and left him money, and he ended up having to sell the car a year later as he couldn't afford to run it. But on the face of it, I'd only seen half the story. 

Take things at your own pace. Marriage and kids in particular are not for everyone, and shouldn't be rushed into just because society thinks that this is "normal". Same with buying a house, tbh. 

For the record, I turned 28 this year. I've been married 3 years and own my flat, but don't have kids. But then, I am a right boring b*****d. My own sort of existential crisis came last year when I was concerned I'd be stuck in a decently paid, but dead end job. I got out, have a job that pays well and has excellent career prospects. But it want as easy as that - it involves a 1hr30-1hr40 each way commute every day, and an obscene amount of money spent on travel (the extra pay only just covers it). Sometimes it also involves long hours, which are not ideal. 

It was a big change in lifestyle and one my wife wasn't overly pleased with given it means less time at home. But, it has been worth it and I'm enjoying my working week a lot more despite the travel. This was a move I had to make before we had a family, or I'd have been stuck where I was, unable financially or practically to make the move, as the adjustment would be too difficult. 

My situation is obviously a lot different to others on here given the posts so far, but I believe the core message is the same if you're in your mid 20s. Make the changes you want to now before it's too late. 

[die hard doonhamer]

I'm 25, first kid at 18, second at 21, along with marriage. Was in a job I didn't enjoy up until April, when I got a promotion in to a different department that I'm much better suited to, and I love it. Financially my situation could be better, hope to buy our first house in the next 18 months or so.

[the jambo-rocker]

In this day and age there is absolutely no rush to do the whole high status job, house, wife and kids package. Fair enough if that's what you want, but there's no obligation, nor no need to pressure yourself into doing because society says so or your friends are doing it. I'd say the smartest thing you could be doing right now is staying in shape and enjoying your weekends as much as possible. Once the latter starts to feel stale, then that is probably the point when you want to re-evaluate.

For the record, I'm 28, living with my girlfriend of nearly two years for six months, and I'm about to into job where it challenges and excites me. I have just about enough saved up for a flat deposit, but because the decent area we live in and that it suits our lifestyle we're in absolutely no rush.

[Jmothecat2]

I do wonder about the job thing. I like my job but I can't see it being a career. It's essentially what I fell into after uni (albeit at another company now), it pays enough though not brilliantly, and I'm comfortable with it. I do have a career goal in mind but I've been so focuses on my daughter and we are planning on having another kid sooner rather than later that my career plans have been pushed back a wee bit. For me the career thing just felt less important than my relationship with my wife and the desire to have kids. I do slightly worry that by the time I properly focus on establishing a career I'll be the wrong side of thirty and it'll feel too late or I'll be too comfortable doing what I'm doing. On the other hand I've got a family, we've got a bit of money in the bank, enough for a deposit once we decide to make the plunge, and a job that I'm happy enough in so I wonder if I need the whole career thing. So long as I've got other things in my life to focus on what I do for 40 hours a week doesn't matter too much. The last thing I want is to be one of those people whose lives become their jobs, who are worrying about work on their days off or having to respond to emails after they've left the building.

[SilverWolfe]

It could be worse, you could be 27 with a burd and a 3 year old, pack in being a teacher to end up in McDs flipping burgers before losing that job and being unemployed for a year, run up 15 grand of debt making your family homeless and end up trying to kill yourself before putting on 4 stone in the next couple of years.

27 to 30 was utter shite, but it gets better, trust me [emoji23][emoji23]

[Bully Wee Villa]

I didn't really give a shit when I was in my twenties, I was always too wrecked to care.

Now I'm older I do, occasionally, regret having made a complete arse of my life but never mind.

At least Villa and Clyde have done well the last few years...

[LoonsYouthTeam]

I think you always want what you don't have.

I'm turning 30 this year, own my house, have a wife and baby, a job that pays enough and is mostly good but I see mates who can just go on holiday, football weekends, or just have a few hours to themselves to do f**k all and I want that. But when I could do all that I wanted what I have now!

Overall I'm happy. Whenever I have a shit time of it I always look at what I've got coming up to look forward to. Whether it be a big thing to look forward to or just the chance to have a night to yourself having things to look forward to is what it's all about in my opinion

[alta-pete]

Went to Uni while staying at home in early 20s.

Met a bird, moved in with her at 24.

Married at 27.

Baby arrived at 29.

Divorced at 39.

Various mentalists between 39 and 43.

Just got married again at 46.

Now I'm absolutely the happiest I've ever been. Work, relationship, family, financially.

OP - you've got 20 years to get here but as the fat dancer from Take That said - to get the highs you've got to do the lows (or something like that).

Don't be in such a rush. It happens in its own time.

[Raidernation]

I'm a 96 year old ex SS Oberführer so I've had it all: career, money, women, then it all went horribly wrong and now I live with reduced means in Bernal, Argentina.

Enjoy life while you can you young pups!