pandarilla Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 I'm really quite lucky and have things sorted but a couple of points for the op to consider... Don't give a f**k about your relationship status* or living quarters. These things seem massive but they're really not. The key is your job/career. This is the time to try and find something you enjoy (ish). We all spend fucking hours at work and if it's 'just a job' that will have a pretty big impact on your mental well-being. Do something you enjoy. Secondly, remember that you seem to have something that a lot of people take for granted...and that is your health. I've got a really good job, outstanding missus, two (pretty bloody good) kids. I've got an OK mortgage and some decent savings. But my health is fucked. I can't eat food in any normal way and by all accounts it's going to get worse and then kill me younger than I'd like. *just to clarify on the relationship status. That shit will just happen, and you can't force it. Treat women (or men) the way you want to be treated and eventually you'll hook up with one that fits nicely (there's far more innuendo in that sentence than I'd planned). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Social media life viewpoint - 27, getting married in March, owned a house for a couple of years and just bought a new car. My viewpoint - almost 30, weddings cost an arm and a leg as do cars. Old car was costing a fortine to maintain and was rusting away. Been turned down for 3 jobs up the ladder at my current work and contemplating moving on to try and get some more money while also studying accountancy which is about as enjoyable as you would expect. I do seriously miss the days of going out every weekend with my mates, watching GSS and heading to almost every Cowdenbeath match. Back then I had nothing to do most weekends. Now I've plans about 6 weeks in advance and it's a nightmare trying to find time to head to a game or have a drink with my mates back home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WILLIEA Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 8 hours ago, cowden0 said: . Sometimes wish that I had a place to call home. But, maybe that's the price you pay for the chains you refuse. Paraphrased from a Richard Thompson song? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy85 Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Mental that people are listing having kids as some sort of achievement. Aye congratulations on managing to get a bird drunk enough that she'd look twice at you. Furthermore, kids are absolute arseholes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruoninga Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 It has been mentioned before in this thread, but it is worth repeating: wherever you are in your life, get yourself into doing some sports. Running, cycling, martial arts, kicking a ball around, it is all good, as long as you do it with at least some zeal, frequency and preferable at set times during the week. It will make you feel better very quickly, give you more confidence and energy to deal with other stuff. And you will meet some new people (individual sports like running and cycling you can - and should - also do in groups). There are literarilly no downsides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 It has been mentioned before in this thread, but it is worth repeating: wherever you are in your life, get yourself into doing some sports. Running, cycling, marshall arts, kicking a ball around, it is all good, as long as you do it with at least some zeal, frequency and preferable at set times during the week. It will make you feel better very quickly, give you more confidence and energy to deal with other stuff. And you will meet some new people (individual sports like running and cycling you can - and should - also do in groups). There are literarilly no downsides. Absolute horse shit. I've played football three times in the last week and my feet are in bits, my legs ache and backs sore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 I'm really quite lucky and have things sorted but a couple of points for the op to consider... Don't give a f**k about your relationship status* or living quarters. These things seem massive but they're really not. The key is your job/career. This is the time to try and find something you enjoy (ish). We all spend fucking hours at work and if it's 'just a job' that will have a pretty big impact on your mental well-being. Do something you enjoy. Secondly, remember that you seem to have something that a lot of people take for granted...and that is your health. I've got a really good job, outstanding missus, two (pretty bloody good) kids. I've got an OK mortgage and some decent savings. But my health is fucked. I can't eat food in any normal way and by all accounts it's going to get worse and then kill me younger than I'd like. *just to clarify on the relationship status. That shit will just happen, and you can't force it. Treat women (or men) the way you want to be treated and eventually you'll hook up with one that fits nicely (there's far more innuendo in that sentence than I'd planned). My attitude has always been the opposite in the relationship vs career thing. To me the most important thing in my life was having kids, and now I've got one she and my wife mean the world to me. I view work as something I spend 8 hours five days a week doing, and it's perfectly fine but it's not really what my life is about. My life resumes when I've left the building and the moment I do work jmo switches off and real jmo resumes until I step back into the building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 34 minutes ago, Jimmy85 said: Mental that people are listing having kids as some sort of achievement. Aye congratulations on managing to get a bird drunk enough that she'd look twice at you. Furthermore, kids are absolute arseholes. But when they grow up they turn out allright. Oh, wait... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 My attitude has always been the opposite in the relationship vs career thing. To me the most important thing in my life was having kids, and now I've got one she and my wife mean the world to me. I view work as something I spend 8 hours five days a week doing, and it's perfectly fine but it's not really what my life is about. My life resumes when I've left the building and the moment I do work jmo switches off and real jmo resumes until I step back into the building. Don't get me wrong...the relationship you are in is absolutely critical. My point is that it's not something you can just create (unlike a job or career). Finding someone that you fit well with is a bit more random. You never know when you might meet that person. You can't go hunting for it. But you can absolutely work your way into a better job/career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy85 Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 11 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: But when they grow up they turn out allright. Oh, wait... If you've nothing positive to say then maybe it's best to say nothing at all. Stop trying to bring people down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Don't get me wrong...the relationship you are in is absolutely critical. My point is that it's not something you can just create (unlike a job or career). Finding someone that you fit well with is a bit more random. You never know when you might meet that person. You can't go hunting for it. But you can absolutely work your way into a better job/career. I think part of my problem is I was set on being a teacher. I did all the right things, got my degree, then undertook a voluntary placement in a school in Glasgow whilst working the other days to survive and I absolutely hated being at the school. The teachers were all stressed, the kids were unbelievably difficult and pretty much every time I was introduced and they were told I was wanting to be a teacher there would be a joke about how it's not too late to change my mind. After a few months of it I came to the conclusion that I just did not want to be a teacher any more. That would have been fine but I had no idea what else I wanted to do so fell into a job which I like well enough but it's probably taken until this year to figure out what I actually want to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifes Elite Force Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 A few of guys I know seem to be in a rush to do things generally, have the career sorted by mid 20s, family house etc. Fair enough imo but its not really what I want to do. Its as if some people imagine up a tick box in there late teens and early 20s of things they must have by x date At 31 I have an decent enough job with disposable income and although like every job theres a few annoying aspects theres nothing major (I never really had a specific job I wanted to do when I was growing up like the poster above), I rent at the moment but that's more out of keeping my options open and if I was to buy again I would move back to Dunfermline but right now I enjoy not having the commute so theres no rush to buy. I'm single and have been for a while but I'm not really desperate to get into a relationship either, the thought of going out with someone just for the sake of it and ending up with some annoying partner seems far worse. I'm not overly fussed about kids either, maybe that will change one day with the right person. The point I'm making is all the things society seems to indicate you should have to be happy/complete person is a nonsense really, it might be fine for some folk but not all. Most of my female mates at work, some of my other mates and some of their birds ask if I have a girlfriend "yet" or when I'm "settling down" as if that is the only purpose in life I should be aspiring to. I would rather have the option to wake up on a Saturday morning and go for a pint before the football or a gig or music festival or f**k off somewhere for the day on a whim without having some responsibility to stop me. I don't really see a need to evaluate my purpose in life or a plan where I want to be in 3/5 years time like some folk and never have. Maybe in 10/20 years I might wake up and think what I have been doing for all that time but right now it doesn't seem like an issue. Average age for guys dying is about 80 these days and folk having a crisis around 10 years after becoming an adult (if you leave school at 18) is a bit over the top imo. I do appreciate though there must be folk out there in a rut who hate their job and have to support kids etc and still don't feel like they have grown up themselves yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 marshall arts, Mods please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Common thing I think. I'm 25, bought a flat and love my job but still sort of get some similar feelings to the OP. It's the age where you're slowly creeping out of going out every Friday and Saturday night but at the same time you're also shit scared of getting any real responsibility. Think it's definitely worse with girls, lassie I'm seeing just now is 26 and she's wanting everything asap because she thinks she'll be too old soon, bairns/marriage/moving in (not necessarily with me just in general) the whole lot, mainly fuelled by seeing pals of hers doing it... Personally only know a couple of folk my age that have got married and even fewer with kids so maybe not feeling the same pressures as others. Although not really one for comparing things like that. I do think a lot of people around our age don't realise how young we actually are though. Must sound like greeting faced c***s to older folk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Not everyone who I meet likes me. I'm shocked at this development. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcat1990 Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 I think this is fairly common for most people to go through really, particulary in the consumer drive western world and the current social media generation where everyone is projecting these ideas of a happy great life. Everyone underneath it all is probably wracked with worry. In the grand scheme of things the sooner you accept the absurdity of life and ditch the pointless search for meaning (see Albert Camus's The Absurd) then the easier and happier life tends to be. Finding happiness in lifes experiences either solo or with your friends and family, who are most likely the only constants you will have throughout life, is the way to get on with things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 I remember being told that most people lead lives of quiet desperation. Although maybe that just referred to the person who told me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 3 hours ago, Adam said: I can't remember who it was that said it, but it's true, we always want what we don't/can't have, and then when we finally get it, we don't want it! I had children young and got married young, that went tits up. Did it, you never said? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pub car king Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 I was 32 married with a baby not long bought a bigger house etc. But ibhad done my then job for about 10 years i hated it for a while then ibhad got passed that and just accepted it and went into autopilot due to responsibilities and thought a shit job is better than none. Anyway there was an old boy about to retire had done this for 40 odd years and I thought to myself 1. I'm not sticking this another 30 years. 2. At the end of those 30 years I'm not looking back thinking what a fucking waste. So I quit took a massive leap of faith and never looked back. I now do something which is hard work can be utterly shite but can be equally as brilliant and the hours are good for family life which is so important. I take my kids to school loads there's time for sports days and school plays. Work is important you spend a long time there and I know I couldn't go back to a Monday to Friday 9 to 5 grind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Did it, you never said? Did I not? Sure I mentioned it. Must be like not knowing Ross lives in Switzerland, Shandon Par is a coffee fuelled, sex maniac, or that Gunther is married. Do keep up old boy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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