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I don't mind my work-mates but I don't really speak to them much, I avoided the Christmas party last year and won't go again this year. Feel a bit awkward whenever I don't go as I'm one of the youngest in the office and everyone says they enjoyed it but I really don't want to spend my free time getting drunk with people I have to spent 40 odd hours around every week. 

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5 hours ago, Jmothecat2 said:

 


A few months ago a colleague asked me how Hitler died. I told him and then another one in the conversation said 'well, that's what they want you to believe, Hitler is probably still alive.'

I burst out laughing, assuming he was joking, and said 'aye, the 128 year old Hitler is currently on the run.' Turns out he wasn't joking.

 

Bit concerned that you were able to rattle off Hitler's age. Are you a Neo Nazi rather than New Labour?

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Bit concerned that you were able to rattle off Hitler's age. Are you a Neo Nazi rather than New Labour?


No, just studied the Nazis a lot at school, seemed to be our teacher's pet subject as standard grade, higher and advance higher all focused on the Nazis.

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4 hours ago, nsr said:

Just been assigned to a new project working alongside two lasses in their late teens or early twenties, both blonde and could be twins. Genuinely couldn't tell them apart in the first meeting. When one of them mentioned the need for some penetration testing on the app we're developing, it took all of my self-control to keep a straight face. Proper civilised, me.

This is quickly turning into the "threesomes I've avoided having" thread.

Anyway, I sometimes work with a lassie who's always freezing, so she puts a jumper on. Judging by the number of folk who complain about female colleagues ramping the heating up, I should probably buy her a thank-you gift for not being a total roaster.

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35 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Wait a minute. People are actively avoiding threesomes?

You always think there will be another opportunity. Was staying in a hotel in Norwich the night after my graduation with a recent, very brief, girlfriend I'd met on holiday a month or so before on holiday. Left her in the room while I went down to the bar for drinks, where an Icelandic girl who I vaguely fancied from afar at Uni was drinking with her twin sister. Sat down for a chat and an hour later got invited back to their room. Should have kicked the conscience in the pie.

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You always think there will be another opportunity. Was staying in a hotel in Norwich the night after my graduation with a recent, very brief, girlfriend I'd met on holiday a month or so before on holiday. Left her in the room while I went down to the bar for drinks, where an Icelandic girl who I vaguely fancied from afar at Uni was drinking with her twin sister. Sat down for a chat and an hour later got invited back to their room. Should have kicked the conscience in the pie.

 

 

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I started a new job 6 weeks ago and everyone I've come into contact with so far has been really sound. Actually found it quite weird at first as I was expecting at least one arsehole. It must make me the arsehole right enough, which is hardly ideal. 

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2 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

This is quickly turning into the "threesomes I've avoided having" thread.

Anyway, I sometimes work with a lassie who's always freezing, so she puts a jumper on. Judging by the number of folk who complain about female colleagues ramping the heating up, I should probably buy her a thank-you gift for not being a total roaster.

During this summer whilst it was absolutely boiling and horrible going to work in a suit, there was one day that the office turned the air con temperature down and made it nice and cool, which was fucking excellent after weeks of sweating your balls off.

Several women complained by email to facilities that it was like an igloo and the temperature went back up, accompanied by an apology email sent out to everyone saying that it won't happen again. I was, and still am, fuming.

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I started a new job 6 weeks ago and everyone I've come into contact with so far has been really sound. Actually found it quite weird at first as I was expecting at least one arsehole. It must make me the arsehole right enough, which is hardly ideal. 

Correct and I also have a parallel theory to substantiate this.

There's a roaster family in every street. Agreed?

But if your street doesn't have a roaster (as far as you can see), then the roaster must be you. Fair?

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I worked in a factory a long time ago, finished at 3 on the Friday. 

So every Friday I slipped out 15 minutes early at lunchtime to local pub returning 25 minutes late.

Was always good as I told my apprentice start the machine up at 1 to bluff the Foreman. 

All worked well untill I had a new apprentice. 

Usual instructions gI've and I bolted for a few pints.

I came back  and my foreman had been to my machine and asked the young guy, where's sureiknow?

His answer?

Away for a pint!

Oh the young.

 

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10 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

During this summer whilst it was absolutely boiling and horrible going to work in a suit, there was one day that the office turned the air con temperature down and made it nice and cool, which was fucking excellent after weeks of sweating your balls off.

Several women complained by email to facilities that it was like an igloo and the temperature went back up, accompanied by an apology email sent out to everyone saying that it won't happen again. I was, and still am, fuming.

Only real issue in the office is the heat, and the woman are mental.

I am at one end of office in dress shorts and a polo shirt (only speak to folk by email and phone so f**k wearing a suit or a shirt and tie),

and have the window open half the time as it is roasting,

One of the females even though eveyone else knows it at least warm if not hot has a jacket on and uses hand warmer things you put in the microwave as well.

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A colleague has penned on the communal sugar tub thing "please don't leave coffee bits in the sugar - thanks". Firstly, how much of an issue is this? Just lean the tub? Secondly, "bits"?! Granules m7, granules.

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20 minutes ago, NorthernJambo said:

A colleague has penned on the communal sugar tub thing "please don't leave coffee bits in the sugar - thanks". Firstly, how much of an issue is this? Just lean the tub? Secondly, "bits"?! Granules m7, granules.

Is it diet sugar?

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During this summer whilst it was absolutely boiling and horrible going to work in a suit, there was one day that the office turned the air con temperature down and made it nice and cool, which was fucking excellent after weeks of sweating your balls off.
Several women complained by email to facilities that it was like an igloo and the temperature went back up, accompanied by an apology email sent out to everyone saying that it won't happen again. I was, and still am, fuming.


It's science:

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2015/aug/04/new-cold-war-why-women-chilly-at-work-air-conditioning

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During this summer whilst it was absolutely boiling and horrible going to work in a suit, there was one day that the office turned the air con temperature down and made it nice and cool, which was fucking excellent after weeks of sweating your balls off.
Several women complained by email to facilities that it was like an igloo and the temperature went back up, accompanied by an apology email sent out to everyone saying that it won't happen again. I was, and still am, fuming.


It's science:

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2015/aug/04/new-cold-war-why-women-chilly-at-work-air-conditioning

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In my office one section have put a combination padlock on one of the fridges to stop, and I quote, "milk theft" :o Having said that we do have a genuine half-wit working with us who is just about capable of switching on the kettle.

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1 minute ago, Taxman said:

In my office one section have put a combination padlock on one of the fridges to stop, and I quote, "milk theft" :o Having said that we do have a genuine half-wit working with us who is just about capable of switching on the kettle.

Opening the fridges at my work is what I imagine it was like for the guys that opened up the pyramids for the first time, such is the intricacy of the hieroglyphics that folk scrawl on their milk.  

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