Work colleagues

[Jacksgranda]

1 minute ago, Empty It said:

2 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Plant E.coli bacteria all around the place and become the boss' new hero for keeping the place going while they're all dead/in the hospital.
That's the most responsible suggestion I have, unfortunately.

I'll keep an eye out for someone selling E Coli on Gumtree.

Youngest granddaughter could have given you some a couple of months ago, but I think it's all flushed out of her system now.

[Empty It]

Youngest granddaughter could have given you some a couple of months ago, but I think it's all flushed out of her system now.

Good news for your granddaughter bad news for me.

[Jacksgranda]

1 minute ago, Empty It said:

3 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Youngest granddaughter could have given you some a couple of months ago, but I think it's all flushed out of her system now.

Good news for your granddaughter bad news for me.

If you want to go to the farm and collect copious amounts of hen and sheep shit and then slather it on their sandwiches, go ahead.

[BFTD]

14 minutes ago, Empty It said:

15 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Plant E.coli bacteria all around the place and become the boss' new hero for keeping the place going while they're all dead/in the hospital.
That's the most responsible suggestion I have, unfortunately.

I'll keep an eye out for someone selling E Coli on Gumtree.

I remember the days when that was literally something you could buy on eBay. What a place.

You could probably pick up ricin or anthrax from somewhere like the Silk Road, but frankly I think you're taking this a bit far now.

[Empty It]

I remember the days when that was literally something you could buy on eBay. What a place.
You could probably pick up ricin or anthrax from somewhere like the Silk Road, but frankly I think you're taking this a bit far now.

Some would say not far enough.

[cb_diamond]

C'mon @scottsdad, it's now Monday afternoon and no update on "Professorgate: Good C*nt Hunting" yet. Have you outfoxed the academic arse yet? Your public is waiting!

[scottsdad]

37 minutes ago, cb_diamond said:

C'mon @scottsdad, it's now Monday afternoon and no update on "Professorgate: Good C*nt Hunting" yet. Have you outfoxed the academic arse yet? Your public is waiting!

The public will have to wait a little bit. Had two meetings about him today so far, and one with him scheduled for later. Will update afterwards.

[Florentine_Pogen]

The public will have to wait a little bit. Had two meetings about him today so far, and one with him scheduled for later. Will update afterwards.

I've just caught up with the Professorgate story and there is only one possible resolution :-[mention=48662]scottsdad[/mention] is sent an anonymous note from 'A Wellwisher' informing him that
Professor Arsehole is on The Register for historic kiddyfiddling and that
some of his earlier research was in fact plagiarised.

We can but hope...........

[cb_diamond]

33 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

The public will have to wait a little bit. Had two meetings about him today so far, and one with him scheduled for later. Will update afterwards.

Blockbuster episode coming. Thinking Netflix series rather than movie at this rate...

[scottsdad]

He has cancelled my meeting with him this afternoon. It'll be on Thursday or Friday now. Starting to get the feeling he is avoiding me now. 

First meeting today was with the deputy nuclear option. Apparently she had a meeting with the Prof on Friday. In that meeting he again said he couldn't teach the course we wanted him to as it was outside his subject specialism (bollocks of course). However he developed a course at his old uni, and maybe we could swap out one of our courses for this one? This would be next year. And this would be all he teaches. 

I said this on its own wasn't acceptable. He is supposed to (and is contracted to) teach one this year, and two next year. He's pushing for zero this year and one next year. My pushback on this was a surprise, as it was expected that I'd be OK with it because he told her that I had agreed to this. The fact this was news to me is raising red flags.

My second meeting was with one of the Heads of Learning and Teaching. I have never, ever seen her angry but she was boiling when I said this was what he had proposed. Again the issue came up of him being in one meeting and basically lying about what was agreed at another one.

What he wants to do is replace a course we have, that is good and fits our curriculum, with one he can just give with no prep time. Teaching courses outside of your own area is very common in academia, especially in my area. One of the courses I teach, I had to learn from scratch. All of us in the team have had to at some point. 

The Head of School (nuclear option) apparently told him on Friday that he has to do some teaching. He isn't happy. 

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

Fucking loving this! It feels like bitd when Neighbours was good and some c**t would go for home dinners who'd taped the early screening then would come into school and tell everyone what had happened! Loving it!

[Thistle_do_nicely]

playing the meetings games as if he's Wally out of Dilbert, legend.

[cb_diamond]

4 hours ago, scottsdad said:

He has cancelled my meeting with him this afternoon. It'll be on Thursday or Friday now. Starting to get the feeling he is avoiding me now. 

First meeting today was with the deputy nuclear option. Apparently she had a meeting with the Prof on Friday. In that meeting he again said he couldn't teach the course we wanted him to as it was outside his subject specialism (bollocks of course). However he developed a course at his old uni, and maybe we could swap out one of our courses for this one? This would be next year. And this would be all he teaches. 

I said this on its own wasn't acceptable. He is supposed to (and is contracted to) teach one this year, and two next year. He's pushing for zero this year and one next year. My pushback on this was a surprise, as it was expected that I'd be OK with it because he told her that I had agreed to this. The fact this was news to me is raising red flags.

My second meeting was with one of the Heads of Learning and Teaching. I have never, ever seen her angry but she was boiling when I said this was what he had proposed. Again the issue came up of him being in one meeting and basically lying about what was agreed at another one.

What he wants to do is replace a course we have, that is good and fits our curriculum, with one he can just give with no prep time. Teaching courses outside of your own area is very common in academia, especially in my area. One of the courses I teach, I had to learn from scratch. All of us in the team have had to at some point. 

The Head of School (nuclear option) apparently told him on Friday that he has to do some teaching. He isn't happy. 

A superb update here. This is by quite a margin the best thing on the forum at the moment. Actually looking forward to the next update

[BFTD]

13 hours ago, cb_diamond said:

A superb update here. This is by quite a margin the best thing on the forum at the moment. Actually looking forward to the next update

Just wait for the next chapter, when he turns out to be a Clyde fan with a P&B account  

[cb_diamond]

42 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Just wait for the next chapter, when he turns out to be a Clyde fan with a P&B account  

Every good epic needs a twist. Albeit as it's higher education Clyde seems unlikely

[Clockwork]

The public will have to wait a little bit. Had two meetings about him today so far, and one with him scheduled for later. Will update afterwards.

I’m puzzled[mention=48662]scottsdad[/mention]. How is this guy a ‘big name’ Prof if he’s joined you on a Teaching Contract, unless it’s something very specialist?
It doesn’t sound like that’s the case, in that you have ‘allocated’ the new boy his teaching hours.
I’m assuming a ‘Red Brick’ Russell Group institution given the description of the Management structure?
If the chap is a renowned academic, surely it’s also down to his research pedigree, which you would also expect would bring more value to the University in the novation of existing grants (the transfer of his PhD students perhaps) and securing new funding. If he has joined you with continuing commitments from another University, wouldn’t this already impact on his R&D and Supervision time?
You mentioned that you were short staffed at the moment, but it seems unusual that a six figure salary, highly regarded Professor would be brought in as scheduled cover for teaching hours no? He sounds like a pain, but has he joined you on a genuine misunderstanding given his level or has he become so research- inactive that teaching is his only option at present? [emoji848]

[Priti priti priti Patel]

2 hours ago, BFTD said:

Just wait for the next chapter, when he turns out to be a Clyde fan with a P&B account  

Turns out it's Threave Rovers...

[Robin.Hood]

Somebody caught stealing.

Said person been sacked

Said person burned uniform and went on Snapchat showing people

Said person now in a mental hospital .

All in a space of 4 days.

[cb_diamond]

30 minutes ago, Clockwork said:

 

I’m puzzled@scottsdad. How is this guy a ‘big name’ Prof if he’s joined you on a Teaching Contract, unless it’s something very specialist?
It doesn’t sound like that’s the case, in that you have ‘allocated’ the new boy his teaching hours.
I’m assuming a ‘Red Brick’ Russell Group institution given the description of the Management structure?
If the chap is a renowned academic, surely it’s also down to his research pedigree, which you would also expect would bring more value to the University in the novation of existing grants (the transfer of his PhD students perhaps) and securing new funding. If he has joined you with continuing commitments from another University, wouldn’t this already impact on his R&D and Supervision time?
You mentioned that you were short staffed at the moment, but it seems unusual that a six figure salary, highly regarded Professor would be brought in as scheduled cover for teaching hours no? He sounds like a pain, but has he joined you on a genuine misunderstanding given his level or has he become so research- inactive that teaching his only option at present?

 

Dont you ruin this for us just because you can't be arsed teaching...

[scottsdad]

29 minutes ago, Clockwork said:

 

I’m puzzled@scottsdad. How is this guy a ‘big name’ Prof if he’s joined you on a Teaching Contract, unless it’s something very specialist?
It doesn’t sound like that’s the case, in that you have ‘allocated’ the new boy his teaching hours.
I’m assuming a ‘Red Brick’ Russell Group institution given the description of the Management structure?
If the chap is a renowned academic, surely it’s also down to his research pedigree, which you would also expect would bring more value to the University in the novation of existing grants (the transfer of his PhD students perhaps) and securing new funding. If he has joined you with continuing commitments from another University, wouldn’t this already impact on his R&D and Supervision time?
You mentioned that you were short staffed at the moment, but it seems unusual that a six figure salary, highly regarded Professor would be brought in as scheduled cover for teaching hours no? He sounds like a pain, but has he joined you on a genuine misunderstanding given his level or has he become so research- inactive that teaching his only option at present?

 

It is a very specialised area, and it seems he has been brought in to develop lucrative postgraduate programmes for us. The target is to bring in £800k in fees within 3 years. He is in his early 60s and stopped doing research about 10 years ago and focused on developing educational offerings. He is very well known in this sector (and not always for the right reasons) but at his previous uni he did indeed develop these programmes that the university management has lapped up. Very corporate stuff. For the rest of us in the team we're a bit sceptical as other unis nearby have similar programmes with low student numbers. 

Not Russell group.