Genuine Hibs Fan Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 Folk who don't have the basic WFH politeness of pinging someone on teams to make sure they're free/know what you want to talk about before phoning them out the blue, so they spend two minutes on the phone with you wittering on about some minor change to a document while they try to load up the document to have a clue what you're talking about, should be a sackable offense 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeAreElgin Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 It's either a very small world or Bruce Springsteen is the holy grail of security gigs, I was on a training course with a wee baldy guy that claimed to have worked security for the Boss too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 I once worked with a guy who was on a temp contract but was given notice for being shite at the job. He didn't tell us that was the reason for his departure though. He claimed that he'd been offered a job in Abu Dhabi and had a penthouse apartment waiting for him to move in to. I don't know why he went ott instead of just saying he had a job in another office elsewhere in Glasgow because he was fooling nobody. Another time I had an interview for a Sky call centre and was waiting with around 10 others to be called. One guy (mid 40's) was giving it big licks about having many irons on the fire and how this wasn't his only opportunity. I could only think that you're trying to get a minimum wage job in a shitey call centre. Nobody is headhunting you. I'm here because I'm desperate, not for some magical career opportunity. Another guy (late teens) was showing everyone his screensaver which was a pic of an absolute wid modelling bikinis and saying "That's my burd." When he showed me, I said something along the lines of "Lucky you" while trying to be as bland as possible. he followed up by trying to tell me that she was an absolute nymph by the way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistledo Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 20 hours ago, trainspotter said: His name isn't Tony by any chance? Sailor Tony Bullimore rescued from his capsized boat - BBC News No, but I'm convinced he either reads or hears the genuine stories like this and thinks, yes this is what I did as well now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 Former employee announced that he wouldn't be at work the following day because he'd had "a vision" and the world was going to end the the following month. So he didn't see the point in spending his last days on earth at work rather than enjoying himself. Accepted the nutjob's resignation in a heartbeat & declined to give him his old job back when he called 6 weeks later, with the world having surprisingly not ended as per his schedule. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainspotter Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 5 hours ago, thistledo said: No, but I'm convinced he either reads or hears the genuine stories like this and thinks, yes this is what I did as well now. Have to say this crossed my mind when I was posting. There will be some condition including the word ‘proxy’. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 2 hours ago, dave258 said: Former employee announced that he wouldn't be at work the following day because he'd had "a vision" and the world was going to end the the following month. So he didn't see the point in spending his last days on earth at work rather than enjoying himself. Accepted the nutjob's resignation in a heartbeat & declined to give him his old job back when he called 6 weeks later, with the world having surprisingly not ended as per his schedule. Did you used to run GMTV? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 11 hours ago, Snobot said: Some absolute melt of a senior manager coined (sorry, made up) the word “satisfising” a few years back when we were in the absolute grip of management speak wankery. Satisying the whilst sufficing I believe. No, Geoff from head office, you are not the Chief Editor of the Oxford English Dictionary; you are in fact a c*nt. Hanging is too good for these people. Scum. Sub-human scum. Satisfising sounds like something Popeye would say "This spinach is very satisfising, yuk yuk yuk" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greendot Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 13 hours ago, MEADOWXI said: When someone uses a word and it keeps getting used and you start to think it is a real word but know it isn't. Yesterday in Teams meeting with colleague and they say they will ned to check how much time they have for their work. They use the same word in a later group meting. In another meeting later someone else used the 'word'. They said ' I'll need to check my capacability'. I'm sure that's a song by Barry manilow 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 12 hours ago, Snobot said: Some absolute melt of a senior manager coined (sorry, made up) the word “satisfising” a few years back when we were in the absolute grip of management speak wankery. Satisying the whilst sufficing I believe. No, Geoff from head office, you are not the Chief Editor of the Oxford English Dictionary; you are in fact a c*nt. Hanging is too good for these people. Scum. Sub-human scum. It's not a problem. It's a proburtunity. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greendot Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 3 hours ago, trainspotter said: Have to say this crossed my mind when I was posting. There will be some condition including the word ‘proxy’. Proxymoron 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 Capacability- is that not those big black turkey like birds that you never see in Scottish woods? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 11 hours ago, Boghead ranter said: Did you used to run GMTV? Not really a morning person tbh 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 10 hours ago, tamthebam said: Satisfising sounds like something Popeye would say "This spinach is very satisfising, yuk yuk yuk" "yum, yum, yum", Olive? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandcowden Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 18 hours ago, dave258 said: Former employee announced that he wouldn't be at work the following day because he'd had "a vision" and the world was going to end the the following month. So he didn't see the point in spending his last days on earth at work rather than enjoying himself. Accepted the nutjob's resignation in a heartbeat & declined to give him his old job back when he called 6 weeks later, with the world having surprisingly not ended as per his schedule. you c**t 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 9 minutes ago, highlandcowden said: you c**t Ken. Utter b*****d, so I am. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteRoseKillie Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 13 hours ago, tamthebam said: Capacability- is that not those big black turkey like birds that you never see in Scottish woods? I remember going to the Marshall Lodge near Aberfoyle when I was a wean, and they had two of these big hippy chickens on display - one in winter plumage, one in summer. Imagine the scene: BANG! "Right that's one for the taxidermist. Now remember where we found them - we'll come back for the other fucker in six months" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 (edited) 23 minutes ago, WhiteRoseKillie said: I remember going to the Marshall Lodge near Aberfoyle when I was a wean, and they had two of these big hippy chickens on display - one in winter plumage, one in summer. Imagine the scene: BANG! "Right that's one for the taxidermist. Now remember where we found them - we'll come back for the other fucker in six months" I recall a display at Gairloch of a stuffed bird. The caption was from Osgood Mackenzie and read: "Walking over the muir I came across this beautiful bird. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen so I shot it". I wonder what his wife had to say about that. Edited July 16, 2021 by Fullerene 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteRoseKillie Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 15 minutes ago, Fullerene said: I recall a display at Gairloch of a stuffed bird. The caption was from Osgood Mackenzie and read: "Walking over the muir I came across this beautiful bird. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen so I shot it". I wonder what his wife had to say about that. I suppose she was grateful that being a wee bit mingerish saved her from a bullet in the pie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 2 hours ago, Fullerene said: I recall a display at Gairloch of a stuffed bird. The caption was from Osgood Mackenzie and read: "Walking over the muir I came across this beautiful bird. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen so I shot it". I wonder what his wife had to say about that. Probably thought herself lucky that he didn't consider her the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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