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When I worked in Inverness I worked with a guy who ate his lunch in a toilet cubicle. He was a pretty strange guy, I think this was the legacy of being bullied when he was a kid. I felt sorry for him as people in the office would take the piss out of him and played tricks on him and I wasn’t really old enough or confident enough to stand up to them for it, even though I didn’t join in.

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2 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

When I worked in Inverness I worked with a guy who ate his lunch in a toilet cubicle. He was a pretty strange guy, I think this was the legacy of being bullied when he was a kid. I felt sorry for him as people in the office would take the piss out of him and played tricks on him and I wasn’t really old enough or confident enough to stand up to them for it, even though I didn’t join in.
 

Gloves?

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6 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Possibly should go in the OFTW thread but does anyone have weirdos who choose to eat their lunch in their car at their work?

Right now all of us are asked to stay at our desks and eat to avoid everyone touching different surfaces around the canteen, but there is one guy who despite having a corner of an office all to himself decides to eat his lunch in his car every day. I can't understand why and have reached the conclusion that he is a deviant and is probably out there ejaculating onto his piece.

It would be a good way to guarantee peace from your colleagues at lunch which I am a massive fan of. 

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I can usually be found sitting on an external staircase eating my lunch but that's because I do have an ever increasing desire to thrust a knife through the folk I share a canteen with throats. There's a couple of folk who breathe through their nose at an unpleasantly amplified level. It's easier to just not be around them. 

I also work with a guy who can't eat his lunch unless it has crisps on it. Sandwich, roll, soup, pot noodle - anything. It has to have crisps on it he claims. 

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5 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

One of my colleagues keeps posting on Facebook about how Coronavirus is fake.

Coincidently, he is also a Sevco fan.

You should point out to him that Sevco is fake.

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37 minutes ago, itzdrk said:

It would be a good way to guarantee peace from your colleagues at lunch which I am a massive fan of. 

OOH THAT LOOKS HEALTHY OH YOU MADE IT YOURSELF OH VERY WELL DONE NOT SURE HOW YOU HAVE THE TIME  WHAT WITH GETTING THE KIDS OFF TO SCHOOL AND GETTING HERE I JUST BUY A SANGGGGGWICH ACROSS THE ROAD

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Today I performed what I’m calling a Reverse Mullarkey by working at home in the morning, going in to work and eating my lunch, then coming home again.

Was quite enjoyable.

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1 hour ago, itzdrk said:

It would be a good way to guarantee peace from your colleagues at lunch which I am a massive fan of. 

There’s a guy at my work who every lunch time  loudly reads through the entire sky sports transfer rumour section. Nobody else responds to anything he says as nobody gives a f**k who *insert any EPL team* are rumoured to be signing, but he still reads through the whole thing anyway. 

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26 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

OOH THAT LOOKS HEALTHY OH YOU MADE IT YOURSELF OH VERY WELL DONE NOT SURE HOW YOU HAVE THE TIME  WHAT WITH GETTING THE KIDS OFF TO SCHOOL AND GETTING HERE I JUST BUY A SANGGGGGWICH ACROSS THE ROAD

You have triggered me!

I absolutely hate such nonsense comments! I often took in porridge for breakfast (done the night before so all I had to do was microwave it at work) but stopped after someone asked me if it was Weetabix and how her kids love Weetabix. That sounds fairly innocuous but was the last straw in a long line of inane pish from idiots.

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23 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

You have triggered me!

I absolutely hate such nonsense comments! I often took in porridge for breakfast (done the night before so all I had to do was microwave it at work) but stopped after someone asked me if it was Weetabix and how her kids love Weetabix. That sounds fairly innocuous but was the last straw in a long line of inane pish from idiots.

WHATS THAT? A SALAD? YE CANNAE HAVE A SALAD FOR LUNCH! D'YOU NO LIKE BREAD? JUST FANCIED A CHANGE? PFF NO CHANCE YOU'D CATCH ME EATING THAT. YOU'LL HAVE A RUMBLING TUMMY IN AN HOUR!

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My work have basically told us on Friday that due to the size of the office and company, it's unlikely that even post-pandemic, we'll ever go back to the 'everyone in the office 5 days a week' patter that they'd insist on pre-virus.

It looks like home working, or at least splitting of time is here to stay for us and I'm quite fucking delighted. I couldn't care less if I never spoke to about 95% of the folk I work with again. I am now at the stage where I'm working more efficiently from home anyway and in normal circumstances, could probably get away with showing face one day a month to post statements.

Aside from that? I'll hunker down here quite happily. Now that the gyms are open, I've got a nice wee routine of getting up at 5am, getting my workout done and back up the road to start my shift. 

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9 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

WHATS THAT? A SALAD? YE CANNAE HAVE A SALAD FOR LUNCH! D'YOU NO LIKE BREAD? JUST FANCIED A CHANGE? PFF NO CHANCE YOU'D CATCH ME EATING THAT. YOU'LL HAVE A RUMBLING TUMMY IN AN HOUR!

Rabbit food ??!!?    Did you make that yourself?  

Yes I did,  I made it because that’s what I wanted to eat and I am highly trained chef to the point I can slice up a cucumber.  

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2 minutes ago, djchapsticks said:

My work have basically told us on Friday that due to the size of the office and company, it's unlikely that even post-pandemic, we'll ever go back to the 'everyone in the office 5 days a week' patter that they'd insist on pre-virus.

It looks like home working, or at least splitting of time is here to stay for us and I'm quite fucking delighted. I couldn't care less if I never spoke to about 95% of the folk I work with again. I am now at the stage where I'm working more efficiently from home anyway and in normal circumstances, could probably get away with showing face one day a month to post statements.

Aside from that? I'll hunker down here quite happily. Now that the gyms are open, I've got a nice wee routine of getting up at 5am, getting my workout done and back up the road to start my shift. 

When social distancing is over, companies who don't give employees the choice (when there feasibly is one I mean) will see a big drop in productivity and a huge rise in employee dissatisfaction and most likely illness and absence when they force everyone back in to the office full time. They'll probably see a big increase in staff turnover too.

This is a huge moment in how we work and should be a huge turning point. It's been shown that so many people not only can work from home, but prefer it, and the benefits to employees and employers alike are significant. Those who don't offer options for working from home will be left behind (hopefully), as more people realise that doing so gives them more time to themselves and can hugely cut down on stress.

Folk will still want to work in an office or other fixed location, for a variety of reasons, and there's no issue with that, as that rather demonstrates the point, that there should be an option. So many people don't want to go back to an inefficient way of working and living and giving them no option will not play well at all. 

Move with the times or get left behind, and I really hope employers take heed.

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25 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

WHATS THAT? A SALAD? YE CANNAE HAVE A SALAD FOR LUNCH! D'YOU NO LIKE BREAD? JUST FANCIED A CHANGE? PFF NO CHANCE YOU'D CATCH ME EATING THAT. YOU'LL HAVE A RUMBLING TUMMY IN AN HOUR!

Someone gawping at/discussing your meal really is quite offensive and deeply offputting isn't it.

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7 hours ago, deej said:

image.png.40fd66a02325644b2abda6e3aca824d1.png

 

Received this belter of an out of office earlier

6 hours ago, Rugster said:

It’s more detailed than a guy I used to work with. He would just put “out of office” on his and nothing else. 

This is ideal.  A million times better than the ones that have a ridiculously self indulgent story detailing why they are away, why being away will have them not responding and there detailed plan on how they plan to handle emails on their return.

a return date in kinda helpful but you really don’t need much, especially if it’s just internal.  I barely read any,  your away, I’ll not expect you to deal with it now, you’ll see my email when you get back,  I know what one of your colleagues to contact if I need a quick answer.  Just like every single person ever who takes a holiday.  The company doesn’t fall apart just cos your not here.

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On 12/09/2020 at 01:15, The Golden God said:

Getting moaned at for being slow/shite at my job by someone who was completely useless, hated by almost all the staff and just a complete arsehole in general. I’m not claiming I’m absolutely amazing at what I do or anything but having someone completely shite moaning is a step too far.

I used to get this with my former supervisor, though it was her who was not only slow and shite, but a bone idle chancer. She joined the company in September last year and from the get go, was instantly fucking hopeless. I've got a shite poker face at the best of times and used to raise my eyebrows and puff my cheeks out at nearly everything nonsensical that she said. Gave her 3 months of a grace period to get trained and up to speed and it was obvious that she was pish. Yet whenever I'd (respectfully) question a ludicrous decision, I was undermining her.

The red flags went off in my first meeting with her, we sat down and I had a brief talk and her opening two gambits were 'I'm a real people pleaser' (Big fucking red flag, if you need to tell folk that, you're a fanny) and 'You can challenge my way of thinking or rationale, even I'm not infallible'.....at that point I knew I was dealing with an arsehole.

I got told in my performance review that my collection levels, bad debt, overdues etc were all exemplary....I carry about $2,000 of debt over 150 days old on a ledger of about $13m of collectable debt a month, so basically nothing..... and yet I still got hit with, 'but I need to be seen to improve you and make you better, so what would you do in my shoes?'....I just looked at her and went, 'Honestly? Leave me alone. Don't even engage me, if I start doing shite, then come back to me'.

Thankfully, our director also saw early on that she was a hopeless chancer. She fell asleep in a quarterly all hands meeting in amongst about 140 folk and almost everyone saw it. She was lazy and shiftless, she'd get other folk to do her work and take the credit....one time she reached out to someone sitting next to her to gather reports that directors were asking for - the lassie did it and sent it back to her but copied all the directors in too and got dragged into a room for a telling off as she was raging that it wasn't passed directly to her to pass onto the directors....the very epitome of someone who blagged their way through the door. Thankfully, she never made it through her probation and 'resigned' after 9 months.

And she smelled of damp clothes that hadn't been dried properly too. 

Edited by djchapsticks

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Can’t stand the lunch question people, salad? Sa-lad? What’s that? Why don’t you eat crisps? Do you no like crisps? I like crisps. Bought some from the shop. How do you find time to make an apple? 
Mentioned this before but I used to sometimes buy a meal deal from marks and Spencers and would receive so many comments as if it cost a million dollars. It’s cheaper than the Nando’s or McDonald’s shite you buy once a week you dafty and it’s actually food. 
ooooh fancy, you do know it’s just overpriced rubbish don’t you, I wish I could afford to shop there ..Aye unlike your Nando’s or subway. Would usually just nod and say aye yeah. Tried explaining how you can get great deals that work out cheaper than Asda now and again but then next time....oooh a moose from marks, someone’s getting paid too much.

MURDER DEATH KILL

Edited by D.A.F.C

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47 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

oooh a moose from marks, someone’s getting paid too much.

MURDER DEATH KILL

TBH they are right.  I'm a big carnivore but would still need a doggy bag when it comes to tackling a moose for lunch.

Edited by The_Kincardine

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