Mark Connolly Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 29 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 1 hour ago, bernardblack said: Apparently a bit of snow means you’re allowed to take 20mins to state out the window.... How does the differ from the normal staring into space allowance? There are a few in our office who did this. Overall productivity went up significantly, since they weren't distracting anyone else by talking their usual shite. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 It's my birthday next week. I'd like it to be a normal day at work but as I'm expected to bring in chocolates for everyone I'll be forced to remind them of it and therefore have to put up with the usual insane shite.There's one fud with a birthday close to mine and if I don't bring in the chocolates he'll make a big deal out of it.Can't a man spend his birthday in peace? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 A man who makes a big deal of his birthday should be on a Government watch list. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpar Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 3 hours ago, bernardblack said: Apparently a bit of snow means you’re allowed to take 20mins to state out the window.... Wish we had that policy at my work... The toilet habits of some of my co-workers is baffling at times, I can understand some things being a case of "cultural differences" but the fact these signs were put up last week just points to people being c***s 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 On 05/02/2020 at 11:21, mizfit said: Someone in our office ran out of the building bang on 5. Apparently he’s known to down everything bang on 5. Anyone else encountered someone who’s so extreme to finish bang on that they’ll run to their car to spend 10 minutes stuck in traffic to leave the car park? I'm straight out the door at finishing time unless overtime pay has been agreed. Nothing is free. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 I left this note on the desk of a coworker recently 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super_J Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 Wee touch of snow is always good for drawing out the work shy I find. Immediately start planting seeds about needing to go home or anticipated transport difficulty. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 4 hours ago, Senor Bairn said: The chat about working later has me thinking about my job, been working for a civil engineering firm the since the middle of last year, we would work late throughout the week then on a Friday tend to leave at 2/3 oclock, the company then went into admin and we've all been tuped over to a french company, this new company has said no more early fridays and that site rules are now 8-5 Monday to Friday. First Friday with this new rule implemented, everyones packing up to get out the door at 5, while one of the managers is still sitting at his desk working away, ends up leaving at like 6/6.30, I dont get it at all, I know for a fact theyre on the same hours as me, I get enjoying your job but I don't get not wanting to go home either. This is my first full time job out of University and I'm hoping that I dont fall into the trap of thinking I'm expected to work late into the evening, I love my job, but its a job, and I'd much rather be doing things I enjoy, like drinking and pumping. Trust in workers to get the job done with some flexibility in how and when they do it seems to have disappeared in the last couple of decades. Algorithms to monitor and control have taken over and enforced by company directors trying to make a name for themselves but have never done the jobs. Meanwhile UK productivity is continually falling. If you step up the pace during the week to allow finishiing a couple of hours early on a Friday, unless circumstances don't permit, that's a good thing. Management consultants with the latest software they're trying to flog don't get that. Charlie Chaplin forecast this shit in Modern Times. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 What makes you think he doesn't want to go home? Maybe he enjoys his job? Maybe he doesn't want to sit in 2 hours of Friday traffic by leaving at 5pm? Maybe he goes straight to the pub with his mates at 7pm? He could go to the pub at 5 and wait for his mates. Utterly shite post. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 On 07/02/2020 at 09:24, LondonHMFC said: Leaving do is this evening, I fully expect that I will be explaining what a "Pie & Bovril" is and then up before HR on Monday. As much laughter as her signature caused, she is a lovely woman. Gives up most of her weekends to help with the homeless, and was our go to person in the office for any mental health issues. She has just sent out her leaving email. God bless Milky Gem Thanks Kind Regards All the best xoxox Almost shed a tear. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 7 minutes ago, oaksoft said: Bairnardo getting triggered by a post. What a surprise. Ok boomer 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 1 hour ago, DiegoDiego said: It's my birthday next week. I'd like it to be a normal day at work but as I'm expected to bring in chocolates for everyone I'll be forced to remind them of it and therefore have to put up with the usual insane shite. There's one fud with a birthday close to mine and if I don't bring in the chocolates he'll make a big deal out of it. Can't a man spend his birthday in peace? How do they know it's your birthday? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 Trust in workers to get the job done with some flexibility in how and when they do it seems to have disappeared in the last couple of decades. Algorithms to monitor and control have taken over and enforced by company directors trying to make a name for themselves but have never done the jobs. Meanwhile UK productivity is continually falling. If you step up the pace during the week to allow finishiing a couple of hours early on a Friday, unless circumstances don't permit, that's a good thing. Management consultants with the latest software they're trying to flog don't get that. Charlie Chaplin forecast this shit in Modern Times.My last work place did this, made a 'case time' for each process and measured folk against it. Your pay increase and bonus rested upon meeting these targets.They had a generic case type that was measured at being on average 12 mins and you could almost guess what happened next. Anything that looked like taking longer than alloted time was changed into that case type. Most these cases took longer than the allotted time and alot of people were put on 'action plans' except only the more experienced staff handled the generics and so started leaving in droves as they were no longer qualifying for raises or bonuses due to being only on these cases due to experience. Half the time manglement were in meetings to try and improve the backlog of these cases whilst utterly ignoring the fact it was only like that due to utter shysters elsewhere unwilling to learn beyond basic procedure and changing them causing it. I ended up being on a team monitoring who was changing the cases against a SharePoint that noted if it had been changed and if the change was valid or not.Lee Wallace had nothing on me. Many a written warning doled out to agency staff due to this monitoring (to be honest I was told it was to help identify training needs, not to clear out temp staff). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 How do they know it's your birthday?First of all, because I had to hand in an updated CV the other day and they clocked it, secondly because another colleague has his birthday a week before mine and it reminds everyone that mine files shortly, and thirdly because I have a horrendous colleague who is into astrology who has everyone's birthday listed (yes, they look exactly as you imagine).The only bright side is that by coming clean about my impending birthday I may be able to wrangle clocking off a few hours early to go and watch the basketball (where I'll be keeping my date of birth under wraps to avoid having to get the rounds in). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parsforlife Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 3 hours ago, oaksoft said: Financial Conduct Authority Staff Apparently even the FCA are having problems with their staff. I can't begin to get my head around this type of behaviour. Some of those things are incredible(shitting on the floor, leaving bottles of booze around the office) but it’s bizarre what’s thrown in with it. Bob hasn’t found time to empty his bin yet, absolute scum up there with the guy chucking away his vodka bottle before shitting the floor. 2 hours ago, Super_J said: Wee touch of snow is always good for drawing out the work shy I find. Immediately start planting seeds about needing to go home or anticipated transport difficulty. Do you need to draw out the workshy? They normally self-indenting fairly quickly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 48 minutes ago, DiegoDiego said: First of all, because I had to hand in an updated CV the other day and they clocked it, secondly because another colleague has his birthday a week before mine and it reminds everyone that mine files shortly, and thirdly because I have a horrendous colleague who is into astrology who has everyone's birthday listed (yes, they look exactly as you imagine). The only bright side is that by coming clean about my impending birthday I may be able to wrangle clocking off a few hours early to go and watch the basketball (where I'll be keeping my date of birth under wraps to avoid having to get the rounds in). You should try making yourself so deeply unpopular that everybody pretends not to know your birthday is coming up. Works a treat. ...according to a mate. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Fifer Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 Are they doing it to mirror what their French office works? If so they'll have the usual twa hours for lunch over there. Get that negotiated in (or used to get your half day Fridays back). Nobody should ever work a full Friday IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 7 minutes ago, Big Fifer said: Are they doing it to mirror what their French office works? If so they'll have the usual twa hours for lunch over there. Get that negotiated in (or used to get your half day Fridays back). Nobody should ever work a full Friday IMO. Or any other day that has the word, day in it imo. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 Came in a minute late today due to driving in a blizzard only to be pulled aside by a concerned (shit stirring) colleague who tells me a manager was peeking into my work area to see if I was in.As mentioned by others treating people like adults seems to have disappeared and it's all about little wins and putting out fires to justify a job. I worked with more mature people when I was an apprentice ffs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aufc Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 I'm more than OK Bairny. Detached house in the countryside, mortgage paid off, nice pension waiting for me. Did we not have this conversation before?[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] shame yer a w**k 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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