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25 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Speaking of which, I have worked with two guys over the years who were both followed to my work by accusations of them being caught wanking in the workplace. 

Has any P&Ber ever been caught, or in deed caught anyone, having a tussle with their cheesy muscle when they should be "hard at it"?

Basic probability would suggest at least a few of the thousands of people who died in the World Trade Center did so while pulling the head off it.

Edited by MSU
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7 hours ago, nsr said:

When asked how long a task will take, say it will take 1hr, I double that to 2hrs to account for things that might go wrong, then double it again to 4hrs because I'm a lazy arsehole. I then spend 1 hr doing the task, 2hrs arsing around on P&B etc, then take credit for being an hour ahead of schedule. Win all round.

 

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59 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Has any P&Ber ever been caught, or in deed caught anyone, having a tussle with their cheesy muscle when they should be "hard at it"?

There was a legend of reasonable provenance (not only propagated by fantasists) at my first proper place of work, a marine engineering company in Edinburgh.

The story went that one of the young apprentices started knocking one out in an end stall, unaware that that the opaque glass panelling transmitted just enough light to tell if someone was, for example, standing up. Of course, the time-served fitters quickly got a crowd together, the young lad twigged that the place was packed and tried to get away with a nonchalant exit. But was met with a rousing cheer and a round of applause.

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21 minutes ago, ali_91 said:

One hundred percent this. There’s a time to be an A and a time to be a B.

A’s who try and get meetings over as quickly as possible because they want to get back to proper work are for the watching. 
 

Friday afternoon for example, you want a meeting to run a decent amount of time. 

Friday afternoon meetings require A,   Insane to suggest otherwise, it’s the absolute worst time for B’s to show up.  Even scheduling a meeting for a Friday afternoon is criminal, never mind deliberately extending it!

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1 hour ago, ali_91 said:

One hundred percent this. There’s a time to be an A and a time to be a B.

A’s who try and get meetings over as quickly as possible because they want to get back to proper work are for the watching. 
 

Friday afternoon for example, you want a meeting to run a decent amount of time. 

I think I tried to write "prolong" rather than the letter salad I wrote.

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Speaking of which, I have worked with two guys over the years who were both followed to my work by accusations of them being caught wanking in the workplace. 
Has any P&Ber ever been caught, or in deed caught anyone, having a tussle with their cheesy muscle when they should be "hard at it"?


I heard of a guy who was fired after he was caught having a w**k at work.

He told HR that he was super horny because his female boss constantly wore a low cut blouse and other revealing clothes. As her clothing broke company dress policy he got reinstated.
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18 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Speaking of which, I have worked with two guys over the years who were both followed to my work by accusations of them being caught wanking in the workplace. 

Has any P&Ber ever been caught, or in deed caught anyone, having a tussle with their cheesy muscle when they should be "hard at it"?

Image result for kenneth williams

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Re: wanking at work - there were a few stories in the press a while ago about how watching porn in public was becoming common.

Seemed obvious bollocks to me, but have any P&Bers ever experienced this? Has anyone ever watched smut on company time or, indeed, ever taken a w**k bullet for a colleague?

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7 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Re: wanking at work - there were a few stories in the press a while ago about how watching porn in public was becoming common.

Seemed obvious bollocks to me, but have any P&Bers ever experienced this? Has anyone ever watched smut on company time or, indeed, ever taken a w**k bullet for a colleague?

Years ago ( 15 plus) one of our managers was sitting on the pan , minding his own ( or indeed doing his own ) when the ceiling tile fell down , showering him in a pile of pornography. 

Apparently there was somebody stashing in the ceiling space  -this was the only one in the office that wasn’t a cubicle arrangement  allowing solitude , and entertaining themselves , the edges of the panel were worn away and our poor manager had a shower of jizz mags as well as the tile itself . 

 

The culprit was was never found , but there were a few suspects 

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