Work colleagues

[DA Baracus]

1 minute ago, Curmudgeon said:

Suggest a compromise. Still have the charity donation, but everyone has to buy a Secret Santa present. The fantasy football winner gets to keep all the presents.

Everyone's happy.

f**k that.

Tell the stroppy c**t to f**k so far off and don't change anything.

[Cerberus]

Have a Secretion Santa just for her and everyone take a dump on her desk.

[Arabdownunder]

7 hours ago, anotherchance said:

The office decided that we’d not bother with a Secret Santa this year and would donate money to a cancer charity this year (a girl in the office was diagnosed recently) and it was pretty much unanimously agreed.

 

One woman is having none of it though. Through gritted teeth she says she’s happy to donate but wants a Secret Santa running alongside the mass donation. More of a mixed reaction to this idea and so it’s been decided just to do the donation.

 

She’s now on the warpath and has started demanding the monthly and overall winnings from the work fantasy football (which she isn’t involved in) goes to the charity since “ye cannae have one rule for one thing and another for another thing”

 

Initially dressed up as a joke but has mentioned it 4/5 times now with the level of passive aggressive vitriol increasing each time.

 

Agree to Secret Santa and get everyone else to put in one of these

Spoiler

 

[FalkirkBairn93]

No tie today actually on account on my shirt choice. On my way home now so will get a shirt and tie out for tomorrow and Friday.
A dark suit and plain shirt can often be cheered up by a tie. 
 

^^^^
Wears an overcoat to expose himself at passing trains imo

[Sergeant Wilson]

4 hours ago, Cerberus said:

Have a Secretion Santa just for her and everyone take a dump on her desk.

I read that as Sectarian Santa. That would be a laugh.

[Aufc]

The office decided that we’d not bother with a Secret Santa this year and would donate money to a cancer charity this year (a girl in the office was diagnosed recently) and it was pretty much unanimously agreed.

 

One woman is having none of it though. Through gritted teeth she says she’s happy to donate but wants a Secret Santa running alongside the mass donation. More of a mixed reaction to this idea and so it’s been decided just to do the donation.

 

She’s now on the warpath and has started demanding the monthly and overall winnings from the work fantasy football (which she isn’t involved in) goes to the charity since “ye cannae have one rule for one thing and another for another thing”

 

Initially dressed up as a joke but has mentioned it 4/5 times now with the level of passive aggressive vitriol increasing each time.

 

 

Just buy her a huge dildo and tell her to fill her boots

[Bairnardo]

 
Just buy her a huge dildo and tell her to fill her boots

Did Mrs Aufc tell you thats what you do with a dildo?

[101]

56 minutes ago, FalkirkBairn93 said:

 

^^^^
Wears an overcoat to expose himself at passing trains imo

 

I wish.

[Jacksgranda]

1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

I read that as Sectarian Santa. That would be a laugh.

[nsr]

2 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

I read that as Sectarian Santa. That would be a laugh.

Would he say "Hello hello hello" in a jolly voice?

[ajwffc]

3 hours ago, FalkirkBairn93 said:

 

^^^^
Wears an overcoat to expose himself at passing trains imo

 

it is what he has under the coat that is important

 

[101]

2 hours ago, ajwffc said:

it is what he has under the coat that is important

 

I don't own black tights and trains don't excite me.

[Muzza81]

Someone at work just asked if another colleague had seen the new John Leslie advert and, honestly, I really want to see it now.

[D.A.F.C]

When someone asks you to do their job.

^my inner voice

[Marsh]

2 minutes ago, MixuFixit said:

When you have been made to attend very boring compulsory training do you:

A: Sit through it with minimal engagement so it can be over with quickly.

B: Go gallivanting off on the most tangentially related stories, ask endless questions, make constant jokes and just generally make something that could have been done and dusted in an hour last the whole afternoon?

Because I apparently am a solitary A in a sea of B's.

I have experienced this several times.  I was on a first aid course and there was an ex military medic guy on it.  "In the field, we'd have done this..." ,  When bullets are flying over your head, you've not got time for x, y and z". Asking questions just to show that he had a more in depth knowledge than everyone else.  Cringeworthy doesn't cover it.  Obviously had that misplaced air of arrogance you get with a lot of ex-military folk as well.  Sit doon, shut up and let's just get this overwith.

[The Moonster]

11 minutes ago, MixuFixit said:

When you have been made to attend very boring compulsory training do you:

A: Sit through it with minimal engagement so it can be over with quickly.

B: Go gallivanting off on the most tangentially related stories, ask endless questions, make constant jokes and just generally make something that could have been done and dusted in an hour last the whole afternoon?

Because I apparently am a solitary A in a sea of B's.

We get these sorts of sessions for things like live working with electricity and I always think the folk who go around work places doing these sorts of sessions have the easiest fucking job out. Travel to a work place for 9/10am, get your free tea and coffee, sift through some slides whilst reading technical bumph that nobody really takes in, go for your free lunch, come back and take some questions, give out a "how happy are you with my training" feedback sheet and get up the road at 4pm. I can't imagine there's any stress for them and their day gets broken up so well. The downside is that all of these folk are generally people who have worked in an industry for their entire lives and do that as a sort of "wind down to retirement" gig, so the chances of me walking into one of those jobs at 30 is minimal, but still, I hope one day to have such an easy going job.

[Bairnardo]

When you have been made to attend very boring compulsory training do you:

A: Sit through it with minimal engagement so it can be over with quickly.

B: Go gallivanting off on the most tangentially related stories, ask endless questions, make constant jokes and just generally make something that could have been done and dusted in an hour last the whole afternoon?

Because I apparently am a solitary A in a sea of B's.

Those fucking B's man.

Utter, utter worstcunts. The collective sigh and eyeroll from the A's in that scenario is one of natures most perfectly choreographed events

[Melanius Mullarkey]

21 minutes ago, MixuFixit said:

When you have been made to attend very boring compulsory training do you:

A: Sit through it with minimal engagement so it can be over with quickly.

B: Go gallivanting off on the most tangentially related stories, ask endless questions, make constant jokes and just generally make something that could have been done and dusted in an hour last the whole afternoon?

Because I apparently am a solitary A in a sea of B's.

C. Go home and get your guitar

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

C. Go home and get your AK-47.

FTFY

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, MixuFixit said:

When you have been made to attend very boring compulsory training do you:

A: Sit through it with minimal engagement so it can be over with quickly.

B: Go gallivanting off on the most tangentially related stories, ask endless questions, make constant jokes and just generally make something that could have been done and dusted in an hour last the whole afternoon?

Because I apparently am a solitary A in a sea of B's.

Maybe the bees treat it as a welcome escape from work.